How do you handle it when you get bad answers to a desperate question you need indepth advice to ?

Question

my question earlier, i need some opinions and advice on what to do, or, what you would do ? here:

I feel People no i have psychiatric problems & no about my history so treat me badly, how can i deal with it ?

How would you react & survive in an area where alot of people acted strange & aloof towards you maybe because they knew about you and your psychological problems.....and stigma existed about you ?

im 30, had a very hard, traumatic life, suffer with BPD and ptsd, i live alone in a one bedroom flat on disability, i dont own much possessions except an old computer, a few books etc...no carpets on the floor.

i was bullied and victimised severley throughout my life, in secondary school i fought blacks and was also targeted and victimised by gangs of them very often.

because of that experienced, unfortunatly, regretably, i bottled up a lot of rage & i used to have rage attacks and outbursts in public many years ago.,,,,id lash out at strangers....feel i was being threatened....disconnect with mmy surroundings.....get jealous of happy people......pick fights act aggressive and basically lose control of my conduct ' completley' in public.

sadly this happened many times, and ive been very lucky not to end up in serious trouble.

the outbursts caused people to ostracise me, point and laugh at me....avoid me....socially exclude me.....cause me to get publically attacked many times by loutish rogues......causing me public embarressment & humiliation..

this was about 8 years ago, and was because i bottled up anger for years when i was being severley bullied growing up...and at the amount of sheer times i was victimised bullied..

im now building my life from scratch....ive never been employed...never achieved qualifications.....never formed ANY relationships at all in life....ive achieved nothing only suffered.

i have a minor criminal record.

my long term ambition once i had therapy is to emigrate from the united kingdom with a decent paying job....somewhere near the coast.

but meanwhile, here in the areas where i live right now, ive put up with what i feel is echoes of the behaviour i experienced of the past and i dont no how to handle it sometimes, except become angry and aggressive.

i feel labelled, stigmatised, like theres something documented about me as someone to avoid....even though i have no proof of that.

alot of people, the general public are quite aloof, abrupt, distant and unfriendly towards me.

people cross the road if i walk on same side of road sometimes, library clerks...shop attendants...cashiers are all abrupt, aloof....speak down to me , not speak ' to ' me..

condescend me if im dealing with authority figures , like ive lost my own mind and not aware of myself anymore.

people are standoffish....i get funny stares from blacks sometimes or other members of the public.....like im an alien and dont belong in the same environment.

this really confusses, upsets and aggrevates me as ive put up with this for years and ive made great improvements with my behaviour and anger on my own...without therapy.

i feel alienated & ostracised....i realise not all are like this but most seem to be....even the ones that are nice, it seems a false niceness like they feel sorry for me & because they see whats happening to me..

i try not to be aloof back to people but its hard when you been through what i have...i feel very wary & distrustful. understandably.

i really cant wait for the day i can emigrate from the uk, with a good job and a better life because of all this.

i feel people treat me like the village jester, someone to ridicule, poke fun at...the butt of all laughs and jokes.

ive survived a horrific existance you must understand....i try to readabout hollacaust survivors because i feel so alone in my pain and torment....no one i meet or hear about has survived the torture i have,,

ive suffered mental abuse, physical bullying, rejection , ALL MY LIFE- NO RESPITE, NO BREAKS.

im waiting for therapy right now, have come along way in managing my rage...somedays it surfaces though because of the severe ptsd...which i regret because i work hard to stay in control all the time.

i have other burdens like an injured ankle, torn ankle ligaments...i had an mri scan on it last week...have to be careful how i walk on it...otherwise i can twist it and go down.

my life as been a living nightmare & the only things what keep me hanging on is my future goals of emigration eetc.

but meanwhile, how can i handle peoples strange behaviour towards me which is not going away ?

could i be stigmatised or ostracised ?

Answer 1

Im sorry you have gone through all that you have.  On reading your words I think that the best thing for you to do is not even move abroad as yet but perhaps just to another city or town.  Get away from the environment you are in and start afresh.  Material things are not important.  Peace of mind is worth so much more.  You need to take each step as it comes and first off try and find yourself some help for your pent up anger.  Dont be jealous of other people, because ill bets that as they might appear happy and content to you, they have their own problems in life too.  Everyone does.  Bullying has such a profound effect on people there must be something done about it to eliminate it from the schoolground.  People who know that you have had problems and have seen you agressive are perhaps wary of you, dont really understand it.  Treat people with respect and you will find that they will return it to you.  I feel for you and I hope that you get some sort of help to make your life a better one.  All the very best of luck.  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 2

I am sorry to hear that you are having these kinds of issues, and feelings. IT would be hard for anyone to solve this on here not knowing the fullness of your case. You need a professional. The things that have happened to you can;t be just  one race, there are mean, worthless , good for nothing people in all races. You just happened to have a bad experience, and have shut down as a result of the encounter, Fear as taken grip on your life, and the only weapon you have is the way you outwardly respond, to keep people at a distant.

go to www,webmd.org..click on groupd, or search ot depressin, or the find a doctor link, don;t give up, there Is help out there. I wish you well.

Answer 3

Go for professional help And You will be on your way. my heart goes out to you and wish I had the magic words to tell you. But the people here do care what you are going through, and are willing to be your friends except them as that. God bless.  

Answer 4

1) Yahoo Answers is not the place to seek professional medical advice

2) Yahoo Answers is not the place to seek professional medical advice

and

3) Yahoo Answers is not the place to seek professional medical advice

If it's so serious then you should speak to your GP.

Answer 5

im so sorry you have had a bad time of it they are people out there who would be willing to give you a chance but you got to be willing to give them a chance to try talking to people good luck  x x x  

Answer 6

You said you're on disability, but are you getting professional help?  I am calling in 5 minutes to make a doctors appt for some of the same reasons.  I don't expect my family to understand.  And I have to recognize I need help.  People sense your paranoia as they do mine, and I want to change that.  Find a doctor who understands you.  Believe me, if this doctor doesn't understand how I'm feeling, I'll find one who does.  Take responsibility and get help.  No one is watching you; it's all in your mind.  

Answer 7

It's not nice when things are going bad for you, but you really should get professional advice about something serious.

Yahoo Answers is supposed to be a fun/semi-serious question & answer site and you will receive mean answers sometimes. You should phone your GP :o)

Answer 8

its great you are waiting for therapy but it can take a long time. you will feel so much better when you are getting the help you need. you know you are paranoid and i feel for you but you are probably imagining a lot of it and thats not your fault but try and be positive, it sounds like you have changed a lot and people who used to know you will see it too. can you move away from the area? you sound depressed so you can try to do things to alleviate the depression like exercise and eating right, meditation and talking to people wether online or to friends and family.

Try not to self medicate with drink and drugs as this has a worse effect n will make you feel more down, try to get out everyday for a walk or whatever.

these are the things that my phys told me to do and seeing her once a  month really helps. but its ******* hard and you will always have your bad days and good days. what therapy are you waiting for?

Answer 9

I feel the same often put keep try and remember that the person on the street has acess to ur history and has almost certainly got their own issues. The police dont go tellin supermarket workers about pepleothers for several reasons one they are not allowed, also if even u have record the cops are not watchin u there are too many peple with records to make that even possible and i think u said it was a minor charge so its in  dusty file somewhere

The good cops ( the vast majority ) are chasing real criminals the not so good ones are hidng out drinking coffee and having donuts. But u do have an option shop at another market of u wish.

Answer 10

Although I really feel for you and all that you are going through - I really don't think this is the right place for you to be airing all your worries. We are not qualified to help you and all it may take is one person to upset you thinking they are funny to give you a setback and you sound like you are on the right way to starting a recovery. The only advice I would feel qualified to give you is please get some professional help (also you could try a support group for your specific problems) and once you are in a better place ask the council (presuming you are a council tenant) to rehouse you to a new area where you are not known to enable you to start afresh. Good luck and please do not be hurt by any comments you may (or may not) get from here.  

Answer 11

As above...

Remember that many people come in here: some will be 12 years old, some will be ignorant and bigoted, some will be just plain stupid, some will have agendas of their own (religion for instance), some will be well meaning but harmfully unhelpful, some will be out to wind others up.

This really isn't the place to hope for good, thought-out answers.

There are SOME people who are wise, knowledgeable and smart, but it's up to you to work out who they are.

EDIT: With that in mind, I ain't the wise and knowledgable type, particularly, but here's my thoughts on some of the stuff you've described:

You will be treated differently, yes, as people have a good radar for those of us who are out of the "ordinary"... This doesn't mean they've been notified about you in advance, it's just your demeanour may make you stand out.

When someone's been through the kind of things that you've been through, it shows in hundreds of ways - the way you stand, the look on your face, eye contact, etc. It doesn't take a psychiatrist to spot these subtleties, people are evolved to be very good at it as survival millions of years ago may have depended on spotting someone who wasn't of your "tribe".

So you're likely to stand out, yes, and people will maybe avoid you or talk down to you.

Equally, though, people may not be doing that at all... It could be your own worries about being "different" cause you to look out for signs that you're being discriminated against. All of us harbour secret anxieties that we're not up to scratch and that others are working against us - it's part of the "quality control" system in our brain that drives us to get ahead in the world.

We mostly know we're wrong in our worries, but they exist to keep us on our toes... Just a little paranoia is healthy - it stops us becoming complacent. But when we lack the confidence of experience (as in when we've been bullied and rejected all our lives), paranoia doesn't have that safety valve of confidence to squash it down and stop it taking hold.

What I'm saying is you're experiencing the same worries as everyone else, but in your case they don't get shouted down. Finding a way to effectively shut those worries up would help you enjoy a much better life.

A final thought... My wife suffers from BPD and has had years of mental health problems. But she has taken steps to surround herself with people who accept her without judgement and have the patience to learn about her and deal with her behaviour. These days she's moving on in life. Her energy is colossal... She's a right pain in the neck sometimes, but she's also a magnificent and unusual person. I imagine you are too, maybe you need to avoid the "norms" and instead enjoy what makes you different and find people who appreciate that too.

Answer 12

Firstly ignore these people,they are probably frightened because they don't understand your illness.Secondly you need to see a psyhciatrist,your doctor can refer you as you sound as if you are suffering from paranoid symptoms and last but not least go to your therepist when the appointment comes because this could help you deal with a lot if your problems and help you to understand where all this negativity is coming from.

Answer 13

What a long question and what a simple diagnosis: alienation!

I know what you feel about England.  Not quite as violently as you do, but the same emotions.

I feel like you when I go to the supermarket like shuffling among pigs in a trough, their trolleys stuffed with ready meals and celebrity mags, and when I go home and see the smirking Jonathan Ross, his ample frame fed by millions of licence payers, and his main talent is not being able to pronounce the letters t and r.  There's plenty more I could write about England and its soul-destroying lovelessness, but no space.  I may as well be on Mars for all the common humanity I feel for my compatriots. I can't wait to get away from them.  But also sadly I have to work with them sometimes to pay the bills.  It's a bummer.

There is a word for us (or rather three): miserable old gits.  Actually you'd be amazed that most people are like this about other people! Especially in England.

Which means that you are just as likely to be on the receiving end of other people's grumpiness as you are grumpy about other people. A Baptist chum of mine summed it up as the two-minute scowl, which replaces The Peace during their services.

The remedy is fairly straightforward.  You need a holiday somewhere there are nice gentle people who will not judge you, and you can spend some time resetting all the switches that are making you mad.  So when you have to go back into the fray, at least you can be just grumpy like the rest of us, instead of being a nutter.

Have you thought of going on a retreat to a monastery?

Answer 14

....wow....firstly, where do you live? you havent been around the right black people, not all are bad, if you are emigrating because of that then you should maybe stay where you are.......in fact, i actually agree with the previous poster, cant even begin to advice - seek professional help - urgently.......(didnt you ask this last week?)

good luck.

Answer 15

I have to agree w/Gerbil and Dave Mania,  on this question, sincerely you need to seek the continued advise of a therapist and hopefully stay on medication.

Good luck to you.