How do you handle not having a baby cause your not financially ready? I die little inside each month we can't

Question

I thought after I got insured we could so I waited six months got insurance and realized we have too many bills for a child. And we set a goal of January at trying to pay down bills and I don't see it still being enough so now we are looking at years. Everyday I think about having a baby. My husband is ok with the wait he already has a 4 yr old. And although I love her to death she is being raised the way her mom wants her to be raised and she rightly doesn't see me as a parent. So it is really hard and I don't know how to cope.

Answer 1

How do you handle not having a baby cause your not financially ready? I die little inside each month we can't

Answer 2

I do not agree with the first answer. Please do not purposly bring a child into this world if you can't financially support it.

I know cause i am going through it right now. My daughter is 18 months, were weren't financially stable when we conceived her and things have just gotten worse and now i'm pregnant with my second. (both were not planned, but wanted) We are in deep, so deep we are on the verge of losing the house if we do not sell soon.

I worry everyday, not for me (well a little more now that i am pregnant) and not for my hubby, but for my daughter. I get stressed out when i go to the grocery store cause i can't affored to buy healthy food. I worry what am i going to feed my daughter for lunch, dinner , breaky the next day, etc.

Having a child may make you happy, but having a child when you are in debt is very very stressful and worrysome. Not because you are a mother, but because you will be uncertain on where you childs next meal is going to come from.

Just be patient, and work and get those bills paid. Believe me, you'd be much happier in the end.

Just make a plan. Set a time,  like a year. And get those bills paid. If you can get more than half of it paid when the year ends, then you can consider having a child. Just be patient.

Answer 3

No one is ever "financially ready" for a kid. As long as you know that you would be able keep the baby fed, clothed, sheltered, and healthy, you should go ahead and have a baby.

Answer 4

You should just enjoy the time that you do have with your husband now. Going to movies, out to dinner, and weekend trips to visit friends and family will never be the same. Enjoy your independence and do spur-of-the-moment type activities because a baby will change all that. Think of something that you think you'll regret not doing once you have a baby and do that. Even if it sets you back financially a little bit, it'll be something that you and your husband can look forward to now and cherish later after your lives have changed.

Answer 5

Kudos to you for recognizing that you cannot financially handle a child right now.  I understand that you are longing for a child, but you should just keep paying your bills and then get some money in savings before you start trying.  You didn't mention your age but people safely have babies well into their 30's.  You will feel so much better when you are pregnant if you have a feeling of financial security, hang in there, it will happen for you!

Answer 6

You should have a child even though you aren't financially ready. It sounds like you would be happier raising a child with a little less than being miserable with enough money.

Answer 7

i agree with Katie W.  if this really means a lot to you, consider getting a part time job and using it to build a savings.  You'll constantly hear people say "you can never be ready to have kids, just have them," but then you'll also hear that financial difficulty is the leading cause of stress in a marriage, and divorce.  babies are expensive and the more ready you are for them the happier you'll be.  the best things comes to those who wait and all that.  unless you're 35 and up.  then i would probably have a baby asap, slightly different case then.

Answer 8

focus on becoming financially stable, do everything that you can to pay down bills, remember not to collect any more while in the process. if you can, get a better paying job. if you are that determined you will be able to do it.

Answer 9

i am telling you now that you will never be financially ready for a child. so i say go for it. when i had my first i Had a job and thought we were stable until i went back to work and she had decided to let me go. which was hard not to have that paycheck but we adjusted just fine. now i have a 7 month old and my husbands been laid off you always adjust. so if you really want a child i say go for it.

Answer 10

Children in the first years don't cost a lot.

Think about it.  You have the start up costs for the nursery but a lot of that can be obtained through the baby shower and even garage sales.  After that (if you breastfeed) we are talking diapers and new clothes now and then.

Also children don't need you to be rich to have love.

It is so great you want to prepare to have a child.

At the same time you will never be ready for it.

Maybe you need to do some cutbacks.  No cable.  Get rid of a car or get a cheaper car.  Move into a smaller house.  Those type of things.

I say go for it.  Life is about being happy.  If you can provide a happy life for your child then that matters more over money.

Don't fall into the American trap of money, money, money.

And besides the finances you should think of you and baby's health.  If you wait much longer (35+) you might get into the at-risk pregnancy category.  And that is scarier than poor finances.

Good luck!!

Answer 11

I know what you're going through and its difficult. But you have to think of you child's future. Try getting an extra job to pay of those bills.

Answer 12

If you wait to be financially ready then it is never going to happen. It sounds like you are very stable and are smart about the way you manage your money. I am sure that you could handle a baby if you really want a child now. My husband and I have 2 children and one on the way. He is in the Army and I don't work and we make it just fine on his paycheck, which is not great... lol. So sit down with your husband and see where sacrifices can be made so that you can have the baby you want so badly. Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 13

Plan what you can do to help -- part time job? Different job?  Cook more instead of eating out,to save money?  Budget tighter?   If you're already doing everything you absolutely can, then remind yourself of that, and distract yourself with other things so you don't obsess about it in the meantime. There's no point in fretting over what you can't help -- though I know it's hard not to!  Be as patient as you can.