How do you handle people who don't respect "no"? I'm referring to the subtly pushy types.?

Question

Once I've said "no" or told the person that I can't/won't do something, s/he waits for the opp to steer me into doing what s/he wants. I don't realize it when it's happening. It's quite annoying and I need a way to change how such people interact with me because I don't want to avoid them. How often I say "no" or warn the person of my unwillingness or inability to do something doesn't matter. S/he tries anyway. These people tend to think that they know best, that what they want isn't harmful anyway, so it's no big deal to get it done regardless of what I've said. I'm not going to explain myself to them, I don't have the patience to play games and I don't have the capacity to think ahead of these people. Any tips on how to deal with them? I don't care about their reasons. I understand the whys and hows. I need to know what to do to make it 101% clear that I'm not one of the ppl they can manipulate like that. Not if they want my company, anyway. :) Thanks

Answer 1

Be blunt. Be very, very blunt. It's a turnoff to a lot of people and those who don't know how to take no for an answer only understand blunt straightforward answers. I am very blunt; when a coworker asked me if she could bring her eight children over to my housefor the day (Saturday), I said no. She went on as though I had said nothing. I told her as tactfully as I could that I would not enjoy having her children over. As she went to leave, she turned to me and said that she would be bringing the children by and I stood up and told her to keep her brats at home with her, that my house wasn't La Petite Academy and I wasn't Mary Poppins. She got angry and stopped speaking to me, but it worked.Be straightforward and blunt. If someone asks you to do something, just say No. It's the most powerful word in the world, designed to stop entire nations in their tracks. And stand your ground. Be like petrified wood: don't budge, don't give and don't fall.

Answer 2

Real darn simple. Tell them you are busy. Tell them that you don't have time. Tell them to ask so-and-so to do it. Tell them it isn't your job. Tell them to bugger-off.  Tell them anything but yes.

Don't worry about whether they want your company or not, because clearly, they just want to use you.

This is about boundaries.

This person has her whole ego wrapped up in wrapping people around her finger. The more you deny her successfully, the more likely she will move on to her next victim.

Answer 3

Good for you! I think you have to be confident in someone elses eyes, that you mean what you say. You have to use a firm voice and don't sway from it. Don't say another word. You gave them an answer and it doesn't need to be repeated. If they keep it up, get up and leave the room! I can't stand it when people do this to me, like we are supposed to feel guilty! F-that!