How do you handle waking up to dead hubby beside you!?

Question

a close friend of mines husband died in his sleep,and now she cant deal with it! there a young couple 24-25yrs, the night be for they had a night on the town like they do each friday came home around 2am went to bed ,she woke up looked over at him ,she says he was cold as ice. now she;s going crazy drinking bad i cant help her because i dint know how to deal with this so please help me help her!

thanks

Answer 1

she needs to see drink not the answer and it only prolong her grief,sadly she needs to face the fact her husband died and deal with the pain,there people there to help with this her doctor can help her access this,be there for her as her whole world just fell a part and she probably very scared but make sure you got support too.

Answer 2

God how do you deal with that, it is hard to say till it actually happens to you, I would say that a counselor or a therapist would be wise at this point..

Answer 3

councilor?

that's really sad ... i hope your friend is ok .

Answer 4

get a new bed

Answer 5

move out, get a new bed and get some professional help

Answer 6

I had a friend that went though the same thing, I can't imagine the horror of what they went through. She not only has to deal with the grief of losing her hubby, but also the nightmare of having slept beside him as he died. Your friend will probably need professional counseling to get through this. All you can do is encourage her to see one.  

Answer 7

omg!!!! that is ******* scary!!!!!!!! i dont think there is much u  can do xcept be there for her, u have to let her grieve.

no matter what u do, shes not gonna listen, she has to  be ready in her own time to accept what has happened.

just be there, listen to her, dont try to understand cuz u wont ever, instead of giving advice, give kindness, hope and love.

:) i feel for her, im truly sorry that happened :(

Answer 8

There are truly two separate issues she has to deal with. One being her husband passing away and the other is the horror of finding him dead.  Almost the same thing happened to my aunt just a couple of weeks ago and she has been totally drunk since then.  I talked to her a couple of days ago and advised her that in her situation she needed to admit herself to get over such an over-powering grief especially when her only way to try to deal w/it was alcohol.  That in itself is a depressant and not helping the situation at all and can cause her to down-spiral for the rest of her life and she's wayyyy too young for that.  She needs a serious intervention and she needs to pick herself up by her boot straps to take that step.  Someone needs to convince her that she's THAT important because right now she can't see past the importance of her husband.  She needs to make an effort to save her life and she needs to understand that at this point that's what she's trying to do.  Good Luck!

Answer 9

She should move away from where it happened and try start fresh.

Answer 10

I cared for my wife of 20 years through her terminal illness and was with her when she died at home at the beginning of 2006.

A couple of the things I took from that whole experience is that nobody has any right to tell anyone how they should get through the grieving process (and I'm definitely not saying you've been doing that) and that we all go through that process in our own way and at our own pace. I don't know how long ago it was that your friend's husband died, but getting through bereavement and out into the sun on the other side takes time. For some people, months. For others, years. Some people never make it out from under the dark clouds.

I don't know what your friend is feeling, but my first thought was that I would feel very guilty about knowing that the person I loved more than anyone else in the world had died right next to me while I just slept. There's not a lot you can say to make those feelings go away. Regardless of whether there is any factual basis for her feeling guilty, I think she has to sort out those feelings for for herself. Professional counseling may help, but I would be very wary, if I were you, of trying to deal with this yourself. It seems to me that it would be all too easy for you to say the wrong thing. All you can do, I think, is be there for her. And be aware that she may need you to be there for her a long time after you start to think, "It was sad, girl, but you need to GET OVER IT!"

If you believe that her coping mechanisms (the drinking, in particular) are endangering her own safety, then I urge you to seek help for her from whatever organizations or agencies might be available to you locally.

I do hope you and your friend find the strength to cope with this awful situation.

Answer 11

she needs professional help...so find her some...