How do you help a 10 yr old kid how to control the urge to cry when his feelings are hurt or gets angry?

Question

How do you help a 10 yr old kid how to control the urge to cry when his feelings are hurt or gets angry?

Answer 1

What's wrong with crying you are hurt or angry?  Not being able to express emotions is only going to make the kid resentful and ashamed.  I'm guessing he's a boy.... and you think real men don't cry....

Answer 2

He could try to start thinking about something else right away.  You cry when you keep thinking about things.  When you feel like you want to cry, you can try to think of something totally different and good.

Answer 3

Discipline, pure and simple.  I don't mean teach the kid to never show his or her emotions but to look on whatever situation causes those emotions in a logical light.  Crying never really solves anything; if anything, once they start they can't stop which may lead the child to some kind of frustration issues with the child.

This is just my personal opinion on the matter.  I have no sources other than myself and memories of growing up.

Answer 4

There's nothing you can do except let them know that you understand that they're upset. My son (11yrs) is very emotional and my partner can get frustrated by this at times, but accepts that that's how he reacts.... and you can't "make" someone react differently to something, or react to a lesser degree than how they are actually feeling. What you can do is accept this and calmly tell them to go get it all out and calm down in the privacy of their own bedroom. Then they can return to discuss their feelings with you once they've calmed down - but make sure they understand that they're not in trouble for crying and that you will be there for them and listen and help them once they've calmed down and want to talk.

Answer 5

Try to talk to him and if that don't seem to work just watch him closely. Then try to give him space, Eventually children have a way with working things out on there own. Not in all cases though.

Answer 6

Crying isn't a sign of weakness, it really takes a strong man to cry.  He is still young, I wouldn't worry about it. Boys have forever only been allowed to show two emotions, happy or mad.  Getting your feelings hurt, can be quiet painful, it is good that he is in touch with that.  He can understand what it feels like to be hurt emotionally, that is an important trait.  A lot of kids cry out of frustration as they just don't have the maturity to handle situations like an adult would.

He is no different then other boys, they all still cry, they just do it when no one is looking.  Which can make a child feel ashamed and really alone in the world.  Please don't let him suffer by himself.  Encourage him to talk to you.  With your help, he can learn how to work out his problems. As he does, his level of frustration will drop, thus making him less likely to cry when he is angry.  Not to mention he will think you are a really awesome parent.

Answer 7

I have grown family members who are like that.That is something you have no control over and I doubt if anything can be done.

Answer 8

You let him cry.  Why should he have to control it?

Answer 9

just let them cry. if they need to then thats that. unles its an attention thing.

Answer 10

why does he need to "control" his emotions???  let him feel.

Answer 11

the best thing is to try to make them laugh talk to him or her to help them understand but don't make them feel like crying is not OK everyone needs to let it out sometimes try having him or her write their feelings out find another way for them to pour out there emotions....

Answer 12

I don't think you can.  Some people (kids too) wear their emotions on their sleeves.  My 10 yo daughter is like this too.

Answer 13

I just say to my kid "Does crying make the pain stop?" or "Does crying make (whatever is upsetting them) stop?".  

eg.  "Is crying going to stop your toy from being broken?".

Then I will suggest what they can do to solve the problem.

eg. if they bang their knee - tell them to rub it, as that will stop it from swelling, whereas crying will not, and will only end up in them getting a headache aswell.

Teach them how to channel their emotions to solve the problem instead of crying over it.

I'm not saying that crying is bad all the time - but as a parent you need to be teaching your children problem solving skills - and the problem doesn't go away by crying over it.

Answer 14

You cant..

If crying is the only way your child can release his bad emotions when he is hurt or angry then let him..

otherwise he will end up bottling everything up which could cause even worse anger in the future.

Answer 15

It sounds like you don't want him to cry.  However socially unacceptable for a boy to cry, it is perfectly normal.

Besides, he is turning into a p*****n so his emotions are high.  It shouldn't make you uncomfortable that your son cries.  

Tell him that while it is okay to cry, getting overly upset and/or physical are bad and that he should find something that he feels is soothing, like reading, or taking a walk.

Deep breathing exercies work well too.  Didn't mean to criticize you, hope this helped.