How do you identify alcoholics, drug dealers, and abusers?

Question

Well, my parents are getting divorced, and I have a feeling my mom might start dating again. I just want to be sure she is safe, because she kinda tends to not see things like that. How can you identify people (men) who are alcoholics, drug dealers, abusers, or any other bad things? How would I protect my mom?

Answer 1

Your mom gave you birth, so I assume she is older than you. In other words, she is an adult and should be able to recognize these things if her child can.

But, that isn't to say I don't understand you -- I COMPLETELY feel you because I dealt with the same issue with my own mother, and she refused to listen to me... I tried every approach: easy, tough, quiet, loud, etc... she just didn't listen.

I learned something though: tell her something to the tune of "Hey, Mom, I love you and because of that, I just want to let you know I think this man might be bad for you. It seems to me he may have a problem with (whatever) and I just don't want to see you get dragged down by it."

Even Jesus said it's up to the person receiving the message to take action, so you have done your part.

Don't waste your youth in trying to protect her when she won't listen to you.

Good luck!!! I'll keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers.

Answer 2

Pay attention to how many phone calls come in and how many he makes. If he loses his temper to quick is not a good sign. If he always wants to go to a bar, that's not good either. If your mother drinks, she will most likely be with someone who does too. Good luck!

Answer 3

I'm guessing by the abundance of alcohol, drugs or abuse (bruises, injuries)...

Answer 4

Well, drug dealers or gangsters like to keep a low profile, if your mom is an ordinary looking girl, they probably wont go after her, but you can tell if they're acting too nice, more than enough, over the top.

Abusers: Can't really tell at first look again, they usually start hitting and beating the girl up after marriage, so the girl can't escape. Once again, if he seems too nice, somethings wrong.

You can protect your mom by being yourself, just let her date, if you feel uncomfortable around a man she is dating you should tell her right away, I'm sure she'll break up with him.

Answer 5

no one can tell how a man is or what kind of person he, best thing you should do is to see what happens but if something happens call the cops, besides its your moms business not yours.

Answer 6

personality is programmed - we all have predispositions towards particular behaviours such as addictions and bullying, although what we actually do is still a matter of choice.

refer to the Enneagram personality system and you can identify personality types and levels of healthy/unhealthy functioning.