How do you just stop caring what people think of you?

Question

I have a real problem with that... :(

Answer 1

I had that problem too. I got help and someone told me something that just clicked with me...

Basically think about a day in your life. How often do you actually think about what the other person is wearing/saying/doing? Usually you are more concerned with yourself than others. I really found it to be true.

I think actually realizing that has made all the difference.  

Answer 2

It is a very hard thing to do, because as humans we tend to compare ourselves to each other. This ends up in insecurity or pride. If you are a person who is always thinking in terms of relationship you do wonder what others think of you.

What they do think though, is their business, because if you do things to make sure they always have a good opinion of you, you are actually controlling them. They are not able to truly form a real opinion of you.

Other centred is caring too much what others think about what you are doing, wearing, saying, being and thinking. Allowing others to judge for you what you are worth.

Self centred is not caring at all what others think of you, and doing whatever you want, with no care if it is hurting others at all.

Centred is when you are able to be yourself, do what you know is right for you and knowing that you don't mean to upset others by your actions and their response is their response.

It helps to know that you are totally loved, understood and made for a purpose and that you have unique giftings and talents no one else in this world can do just the same way that you can.

I'd take time reflecting on whether you have "individuated",  a term for breaking off from the expectations of family and significant others in your life, and make sure you have become a big person with just as much value and worth as anyone else. A balance of power.

Heaps more that could be said, but I hope that helps a bit.

Mel

Answer 3

I have a problem with that too.  But I'm a Christian, and I came across this story in the bible, in 2 Samuel 6 that really helped with this.  

It's the story of King David returning the Ark of God to Jerusalem.   He was so happy that he was getting the ark back to God that he was leaping and dancing before the Lord in celebration!  

Well, his wife Michal was a party-pooper, and she was embarrassed of how he was acting.  She was worried about what everyone else was thinking about David, and she didn't think his behavior was fitting for a king.   This is what David said to her!

"It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD's people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD.  I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor."

In other words, he could care LESS what anyone else thought about him!

And you know what happened in the story?  God was HAPPY with David and blessed him tremendously.  And you know what happened to his wife?  God was NOT happy with her and she was unable to have children-which was a huge deal in those days!

The only One whose opinion even counts is God.  Who cares what anyone else thinks?

Answer 4

I think the most important thing to remember is that people are too wrapped up thinking about themselves to think about you.  

Answer 5

Well, at some point in life, and hopefully, you will be able to make it now, you will realize that no matter what you do, how you think, how kind you are, how fair you try to be...there will be people who like you and others who will not.

When you understand that some people will dislike you anyway, and that it's not always even because of your actions, it makes it easier to put things in perspective.  It's could be because you remind them of someone they dislike, or have something they don't have.  They may just dislike people who have your hair color, or skin color, or name...

The best thing you can do for yourself is to get to know your own likes and dislikes and beliefs, and follow them.  The people who will matter in the long run will be there for you and with you.

My personal philosophy is that unless you live with me or sleep with me or hold a very significant place in my heart, what you think about me is going to have little or no impact on my life...so what does it matter?  

Another way to try to look at it...ask yourself, "What difference will this make to me next year this time?"  Most of the time, the answer will be "Not much."

Best of luck in strengthening your independence...

Answer 6

look at what is wrong with them and what is like you and then if they say something to you then tell them what is wrong with them. lol

Answer 7

Once you realize that you dont need half a** friends in your life and live for yourself.  The ones who matter and really care about you will stick around no matter what you wear or do.  and you always have family too.  its a nice way of knowing who really cares.