How do you know if an adoption agency is the way to go? If not how do find a way to do a private adoption?

Question

My husband and I want a child in our life but cannot have our own. We are willing for the birth mom to be involved so a private adoption sounds good to us but, we wondered if an agency was a better way to go. Besides private we have no idea how to find the person to adopt from. Any comments or suggestions would be great.

Answer 1

You just have to sit down and do your research... Start looking up and saving information on agency's in your area and call up or go down there and just start asking questions. Keep a copy of their answers or notes if you need to.

Answer 2

Check your phone book and look into your local agencies.  Set up appts with them or go to thier seminars.

Be aware it is very expensive to go through a private agency.  We went through one and lost nearly $10,000 before finally giving up.  The application alone will run between 1-3,000 dollars.  

If you adopt out of foster care, you can get a baby.  And there is no cost to adopt out of foster care.  Yes, some of the babies who come to you will have been born drug exposed with no/terrible prenatal care, but I have parented several newborns with these circumstances, and I can tell you that some of these children, with love/patience/nuturing/early intervention they can catch up and not have a serious life long medical condition.  

Good luck on becoming a parent!

Answer 3

The only way to do a private adoption is if you find the baby and go to a lawyer on your own.  Go to an agency that can take care of all the details and help you find a child - give you your options (domestic, international).  You may be thinking you would be more comfortable at a small agency rather than a nationwide agency.  In that case find a local agency and go visit them.  Also, go online and research all the agencies that look like they might be what you want.  Send away for the packets and talk to the social workers there.  All the big agencies are linked to all the local agencies nationwide and may find you a child faster.  www.americanadoptions.com  I like this agency, but you may find one locally you feel more comfortable with.  The first thing to do is decide what you both want - newborn, child, siblings, domestic, international, etc.  Then look for an agency that specializes in what you want.  Once you decide then you will need a home study and a profile.  Good luck to you!

Answer 4

I'm so sorry, but Sarah hardly sounds like a "birth mother". Most of her information is inaccurate. She sounds like she works for an agency. Hire a surrogate.

Answer 5

First of all, I'm sorry that you're dealing with the inability to conceive a child, for whatever reason.  We dealt with infertility for over 10 years before we adopted and although sometimes I wish we'd made the adoption decision earlier I know if we had, we would have the children we have today.  We are so blessed!

I'm not sure why you think a private adoption is the only way to an open adoption, but I recommend going with an agency for several reasons.

1.  Most offer the birthparents counseling, for life, free of charge.  It was important to us for the birthparents to receive any support they needed from a licensed counselor before, during, and after relinquishment of their child.

2.  An agency's staff, counselors, psychologist, and attorney have done many adoptions and have a lot of experience in handling any issues that may arise.

3.  With our agency, we were protected financially if a birthparent changed his/her mind.

4.  The counseling we receive in invaluable as well.  Any time I need advice or just someone to talk to, I can call our counselor.

5.  They will help you to facilitate an open adoption by guiding you and the birthparent for setting up a plan for visits, pictures, etc. if needed.

Those are just to name a few and I hope that helps.  Also, check out this website:

www.theadoptionguide.com

And for what it's worth, I do not think that Sarah is from an agency.  All her information from a birthparent's perspective is accurate.

Answer 6

Private licensed adoption agencies can offer you security and guarantees because they are the professionals and therefore accept certain liability.  And more importantly, can offer the birthmother (and birthfather) COUNSELING, financial assistnace with medicals,/housing/clothing/transportatio... etc. -- you cannot!   Of course, those expenses are passed through to you in the form of a (somewhat high) fee, but for those who can afford it, it can be well worth every penny.  For those who cannot afford private agencies, there are public agencies with sliding or no fees.

Answer 7

Add to the person above me, you can also post personal ads in the back of community magzine or newspaper.

Answer 8

A licensed adoption agency provides a safer environment for all concerned than a facilitator or a lawyer.  At least in our state, only an agency can issue a "relinquishment"--the irrevocable paper the birth mother signs relinquishing her parental rights.  In a private adoption, the paper is known as a "consent"--a different document, which includes a grace period in which she can change her mind.

An agency also offers counseling to all parties.  Chances are they will know all the laws and follow them more reliably than a for-profit facilitator.  In the case of our agency, they were up-front about what the costs would be, while some of the facilitators we talked to wouldn't give us any figures.

Many facilitators have arrangements in which the potential adoptive parents pay for the birth mother's support during the pregnancy.  These costs can vary wildly, depending on the birth mother's circumstances.  Most agencies have all adoptive parents pay a flat fee that goes into a birth mother support fund, dividing the costs evenly among all.

Most, but not all, agencies do the work of finding the birth mother for you, so you don't have to post your profile on the internet or send a letter to high school nurses' offices.  You will have to create a profile book for the agency to show to potential birth mothers.

Most agencies also set up open adoptions, the degree of openness depending on what all parties are comfortable with.

Check the phone book or the internet for licensed agencies in your area.  They are not necessarily state or county departments, they can be private corporations, but they must be state-licensed.  Call.  They may invite you to an orientation session or potential parent meeting.  Ask all the questions you can think of.  Look for answers that seem honest and reasonable, not just answers of the kind you want to hear.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 9

There is a great need in couples that do  not have children of their own to adopt. But my wife and I adopted three from the state and it has been a complete nightmare. Be real careful. We went to the state and found three brothers whoes mother had abonded them. We adopted the three after two years of fostering the children. Thats when we realized that no matter how noble you think the act of adoption is their are those people who will be judging you at ever turn. Then there are the kids that have abanbonment issues. I am not saying that kids do not need a good home. I am saying that adopting takes a lot out of you and your marriage. I think anyone who adopts needs to be real careful and make sure they have completely thought it out.

Answer 10

I'll give you a word of advice, I have a child that I adopted and tried so hard to keep it an open adoption but it just didnt work.

It depends on what state you live in, if it is florida you can adopt easily if the parent is willing to sign their parental rights away.

Check your local laws.

Answer 11

From a birth mother's perspective, I say go with the agency.  I don't know why you wouldn't, so sorry if there's something holding you back from that that I don't know about.  I found an agency that sent me dozens of booklets that each adoptive couple/person had put together, including pictures and things they had written to potential birth moms.  I know that I found the right couple because of those books, and it really put my mind at ease.  Since you seem to be thinking at least a little bit about the birth mom's feelings, this way might be the way to go.  You can always have an open adoption, whether you go through an agency or not.   It's up to you and the birth mom, all agencies do are put you and her together, the details can be worked out between you (if that's what you want, you can also just work with the agency if you prefer)  I found my agency from an ad in the newspaper, I'm sure there are tons of great info on the internet as well.  If you'd like me to get you the name of the agency I used (I highly reccomend them, my papers are put away, but I'd be happy to get them out), or if I can answer any other questions, please email me.   Good luck & adoption is a wonderful option~