I have been with a guy for a year and a half, we recently went on holidays together and once we came home he started telling people that we were going to get married next year, and i was going to move in with him and we made all these plans to renovate the kitchen, do up the back yard etc by extending the mortgage and going halves in it, i moved in with him about 2 months ago and at first he was still telling people that we planned to get married next year (no official proposal) and the ball was still rolling with having the mortgage refinanced, but now, 2 months on, it has all stopped, he says that i am pressuring him when i talk about marriage, (yet he was the one who told everyone in the first place) and i am placing too much pressure on him with the house by getting quotes for a new kitchen and shed etc (i know if i left it up to him it would never get done), so i backed off for a bit and it has been a couple of weeks and nothing has been said about refinancing the mortgage or the renovations, a friend of a friend got engaged on the weekend and when i told him about it all he could do was grunt in a disapproving way. Now i feel like he was just saying all that stuff to get me to move in with him and now that i have moved in he has gotten what he wants so he doesn't have to bother with the rest.
I am really not comfortable living together with no active plans for the future, marriage or otherwise, and i feel like if i was to let him he would stay like this forever.
So what do i do? How do i talk to him about it? What do i say? Or do i just cut my losses and leave or persevere since it has only been a couple of months?
He was engaged once before and he told me that they were together for 5 years and she told him that they either got engaged or it was over, they got engaged and she ended up ending it anyway.
I feel like he probably would get married for me if i kicked up enough stink, but i don't want to get married under those circumstances.
What do i do?
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