How do you know if you are ready to get married?

Question

like what kinds of signs could i look for, how should i test the waters, how do i know if this will really last or if it will fall apart like previous relationships? where should i be in my life? what should i take care of first? and do you think your parents opinion should play an enormous role in this decision? tell me why or why not your marriage has been successful.

Answer 1

You won't have any doubts! You will just know deep in your heart, that you are ready! Look at the website I included- it will help clarify things for you.

Answer 2

I feel that a relationship should make you happy most of the time.  Not all of the time, because sometimes relationships do take work, but if you are working more than enjoying, then that's not a lasting happiness.  I feel like the 90-10 rule applies.  Are you happy 90% of the time?  That's a great relationship.  When it starts to slip towards the 50-50 end of things, then you should probably move on; who wants to be unhappy half the time?

I feel like your family/parents should have an important role in your life partner decision, if they play an important role in your life in general. My family's (sisters and parents) opinion of my partner was very important to me, because they see the real me, and the real person I am, and they have more critical eyes (they don't have a "crush" on my partner) so they can see what is good and bad more honestly.  They want what is best for me: to be happy, so their opinion of a person that makes me happy is important, because they can see if that person had the potential to continue to make me happy and respects me, etc.

Also, I feel like you are ready for marriage (with the right person) when you fantasize about the marriage, not the wedding.  That's when I knew I wanted to marry my fiance.  I am more excited to be married than to have our wedding now!

Good Luck!

Answer 3

My personal opinion is only you know when you're ready to get married or not.  There is 1 thing I suggest before doing it though.  You've got to live independently of your parents.  That's meaning on your own, parents not helping you pay rent or anything, you're covering all your bills on your own, living within your means, etc.  You're also not emotionally dependent on your parents, you don't need their approval and/or support in your decisions.  You're confident enough in yourself as an adult to make your own decisions, and to live with the consequences of those decisions.  

But, should you totally ignore your parent's opinions when you're deciding to get married?  Absolutely not.  I'm a parent, I have an 18 year old daughter who's a college freshman and a 14 year old son who's in 8th grade.  NO ONE, and I mean no one has your best interests at heart more than your parents.  They also know you better than pretty much anyone else as well.  Those are 2 generalizations, because there are parents out there who don't have their children's best interests at heart, and who barely know their own children, but those are exceptions rather than the rule.  So while I don't think I'd say your parents opinion should play an enormous role in your decision making, if you have a good relationship with them and trust their judgement, it should be a factor.  

But, I don't think there's a hard and fast rule about how long you should be with someone before you know if they're the right person to marry or not.  I had known my husband for a little over a year, we dated casually during that time, but always with other people, never as a couple.  Then, we started dating.  He's said after our first date, he knew I was the woman he wanted to marry.  After about 3 weeks, he proposed, and we were married 5 1/2 months later.  We've been married over 20 years, and are still madly in love with each other.  

I think you know it's the right person when you can't imagine spending the rest of your life without this person with you.  That's when you know.  

Answer 4

I agree with the first answer. If you don't feel absolute joy at the thought of marrying the person in your life then you are either not ready for marriage or you don't love them enough. It's natural to feel nervous but it should be an excited nervousness, like right before a race/competition that you know in your heart you are going to win! You should feel proud as punch that that person is going to be your husband/wife.  

Answer 5

You are talking about the practical things in life and love is the least practical thing ever.

Love is emotional and if you want to run your love life like a well organised office then you will not meet the man of your wishes.

My marriage fell apart because he was too controlling, thats it in a nutshell.

I have met a man that I never thought could touch me in my soul the way he has, my heart belongs to him and I am alive.

Love is selfish, he loves me and it makes me feel amazing and I want that feeling every day and I get it with him, I respond to him and he feels wanted, loved and needed and that in turn makes him feel amazing too.

Love is giving of yourself wholly, repeatedly and honestly.

There is no shame in love, there are no inhibitions, there is only this incredible togetherness that you know will last because its there all the time.

Its comfortable, its warm, its safe, it demands nothing and because of this you want to give constantly.

For the first time in my life I know what its like to be loved and to love back, you can look into your partners eyes and know what they are thinking because you know them like you know your own mind.

I truly have found my soul mate and I marvel every day at the happiness I feel in my life.

These are things I have experienced, it will happen to you when the time is right, when you meet him and you will just know.

Be patient, he is out there looking for you.

Answer 6

You know you are ready for marriage when you don't have to ask if you are ready for marriage.  :)

Good luck to you :)

Answer 7

I agree.  If you have to ask that question, then you are not ready to get married.