How do you know it is adoption?

Question

SERIOSLY like if you are depressed or somthing how do you know you wouldn't be depressed even if you were not adopted. how can you tell it is adoptions fault?

Answer 1

i have known several adopted people and none of those had depression or maybe they fitting in with their family better i dont know, i know that some never get over the feeling of abandonment and that causes depression i know of two that went to counseling to face their abandonment issues.  it would be hard to find out that you were given up, but to have a loving family is a blessing more than a lot of kids have, i have had a few foster kids that came from would you belive adopted homes that were abusive, so these poor kids are getting a double wammie, not having their parents but then their so called loving adoptive parents turn aginst them also. its heart breaking.

Answer 2

I don't think you can but self-identity certainly is a big factor in depression and adoptions have alot to do with that.

Answer 3

its not no ones fault.......adoption doesn't make u depressed. but ur situation does....im srry but u need a therapist

Answer 4

There are a set of feelings and symptoms that many adoptees have in common.  In as much as adoptees report similar internal experiences, that is strongly suggestive that adoption is part of the causal story.

Answer 5

because the only time i get depressed is when my a-mom comes around. as long as she is away i am one of the happiest people in the world as soon a she writes me or calls i either have a panic attack or i get depressed for weeks at a time. She is the only constant variable. that's how i know. can't speak for anybody else though. I was mentally and physically abused by my a-mother but i think that was one of the reasons she adopted me in the first place. but that's a completely different post.

Answer 6

It's like a friend who is an alcoholic told me about when he went to an AA meeting.

"I thought I was so unique, but everyone there felt just like me"

Adoptees have more in common than not.  No matter where we came from or how we grew up.

Answer 7

All of the things I've gone through in my life, decisions I've made, decisions that were made for me, things I've learned, people I've known, all combine to make me who I am.

I can say with absolute certainty that being abandoned by my mom as a teenager sucked, big time.  I can imagine it would have affected me exactly the same (because of my personality) if I had been given up for adoption.  I can't know this for sure, but knowing what I know about myself, I would probably have hated it.

I can also say with absolute certainty that other things I went through are the direct cause of sadness, anger, happiness, excitement, and every other emotion I've ever had.  

How can you tell that getting exactly what you wanted for your birthday caused you to smile?  How can you tell that when someone hits you it causes a bruise?  How can you tell that when one person yawns, another person will yawn, too?  Cause and effect, with a dash of personality thrown in, and there you have it.

Answer 8

you know like, that would depend on the individual and all. Its like all about therapy and knowing yourself and identifying which feelings come from where you know dude?

ETA: yeah like dude, have you ever been to a support group for adoptees, like a face to face or online group and thought OH MY GOSH THEY SOUND JUST LIKE ME. Yet pre-group nobody could ever quite understand what you were talking about.  Thats when you realize that validation on "that" level can only come from your adopted people. dude.