How do you know when it is time to take a break from your marriage?

Question

My husband and I fight all the time over everything, we hardly ever have s*x anymore and I'm not even satisfied. He doesn't hug me or hold my hand b/c he said we have been together too long for that. Now i find myself attracted to other men who give me attention but would never do anything unless we were separated. Does this mean we need a break for awhile to see other people? Do you think if we took a break it would bring us closer again and we could make our marriage work?

Answer 1

If your asking about taking a break then its time to move on.

Don't bring your child up in that atmosphere.  

Answer 2

See other people??  Where did you take your vows, Disney Land?  If you take a break, you file for divorce. This is not high school love drama. This is your life. If you cannot make nice with the man you married, and you want to play the field, get a divorce.  

Answer 3

marriage counseling sounds chessey but it's working for me.......i hope this helps.....i think all you need is physical attention from him........the counselor will help him and you realize what you need to help you out.....

Answer 4

I dont think it is a good idea to see other people if you are married.  Maybe some counceling.  

Answer 5

Your husband is both mentally and physically abusive...It is time to take a permanent break....It is called DIVORCE.....

Answer 6

I would rather ask the question in a different point of view. "How do you know that the devil is making a trick to married people, suggesting that they need to be separated/divorced?

You see the devil is always very enthusiastic to break what God has put together. This is so even from the beginning (Genesis). While God tells that this is forbidden for man, the devil challenged them to prove whether  the words of God is true or not. In effect the devil perverts the truth.  As an effect, you see, people are confused, and because the calling of the flesh is easier to recognize then it is followed by man.

There is really no time to break your marriage, rather just look beneath what is happening and you will see how the devil perverts your marriage.

I hope you will like this.

Answer 7

A "break"? Marriages don't have "breaks" Marriages are 24/7/365. If it isn't working, you need to get help NOW. If he won't go, go without him, or give him an ultimatum. Fix the marriage or end it. If he is abusive, that needs to stop right now, or you're gone for your and your daughters safety. A break is just an excuse to start moving on. if you want to save your marriage, a break isn't the answer.Tell him to spend the time and money to fix the marriage, or he'll be spending it on a divorce lawyer.

Answer 8

  You must realize that marriage, like everything else, was created by God. He made us in His image and He made marriage in His very nature.

   The man is commanded to be the head of the marriage, like Christ is the head of the church. Also the man is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Now being the head basically means that, yes you are the authority like Christ is the churches authority, but that just makes the man to be a more able servant. He is commanded to love his wife. This means that a man must stay romantic and passionate about his wife, also he is to attend to her needs like Christ attends to our needs.

    Now the wife is commanded to sumit to your husband as the church sumits to its head, which is Christ. This means that your husband is your head and authority. I know in this liberal Godless society that sounds terrible but it really isn't. Submission to the proper authority is a good thing. What happens when people don't submit to the laws of the land and the government? It leads to a mess. What happens when player on a team don't submit to a head coach? It leads to a loosing game. The same thing when a wife won't submit to a husband. It is an unnatural thing and leads to terrible trouble. Now the husband should be a man of honor, respect, and leadership ability. This is an important part. Realize that in todays culture we have been raised by Godless television to believe everything against this. But first, womens liberation was a social program to brake up the families and get women on the tax role. With the families broke up,  the children would be more easily influenced by government and socialistic influences. With women working, the cost of goods could be increased so that now every family has to have two working people just to provide what one used to be able to. This will never go back.

Ever wonder why on television every family protrayed is basicly a wimpy, loser type man with a beautiful know-it-all snotty wife? It's all to influence us on what to believe and how to act.

Also very, very important. Marriage was made in the image of Christ married to the church in the way that He will never leave us or forsake us. Even when we forget about Him time to time, curse Him time to time, and do everything He tells us not to do, Christ, who is God, will not divorce us. When He saved us, and formed a marrage bond with us, it was forever. That's how marriage was designed by God.

Now reading all of your above problems, I would venture to guess that you never think about God, you don't study His word. Living in this world was designed by God for a certain purpose. The devil and all of the worlds influences have raised us up to believe that life is about far different things. When we go with our fleshly passions and forget about God and glorify ourselves, what we get is empty misery.

You want to be married to Jesus Christ, make Him your head first and foremost.

Answer 9

I believe in Breaks. It could help your Marriage and possible make it even stronger in the long run. Him realizing what he's missing out on or about too. Marriage counseling isn't always the answer he might feel like you want him to change  even if you want him to then he'll get the idea of why you don't love him for who he is. Men have a hard time and women accepting who they are. And they shouldn't have to change for anyone unless they really want too. They might need help in certain areas but like i said they have to want to change....good luck

Answer 10

You are in a tough spot.

How long has it been like this? My sister finally gave up on her marriage after 15 years because of the same sort of thing you are describing. If it's only been like this for a short while, there might be hope. Maybe you can find what it was that made you love him in the first place. If it's been years and years: it may be time to move on. We only get one life. Don't spend your short time on this earth in misery. The only thing worse than being lonely is being lonely while in a marriage. Move on.

A break might not be a bad idea. I suppose it will either make or break the relationship. And what do you have to lose at this point, it sounds like it's all but over any way.

Answer 11

Do you have kids?  If that is a yes then that means you need a break from the household.  Go to a hotel and get a room for yourselves to have some alone time away from all the chaos at home.  When you got married it was meant forever.  I am sure the vows didn't mention "I promise to take breaks from each other...."  You might also look into marriage counseling.  Fighting all the time about everything might mean there is too much stress in the marriage.

Answer 12

I never heard of the "take a break" option in a marriage.  But I like the idea.  It is always easier to leave a marriage when there is someone waiting in the wings.  Go for it.  I don't think it will bring you and hubby close together.

Answer 13

My husband and I experienced the same thing recently. We have 2 young kids and were finding it difficult to be in love. My s*x drive is very low because I am so tired. I think that you still love your husband and he needs to know that he needs to start appreciating you and communicating with each other more effectively, that really is the key to making it work.

Answer 14

Communication is the best way to find out. In a third party objective I think yes you should take a break it will givw you a chance to miss one another. Agree not to call the other peson for 2 weeks or 3 any amount of time over 2 weeks is good. if you don't miss each it may be you don't love each other anymore

Answer 15

Most couples who separate do get back together and their marriage is stronger. My husband and i separated for 2 1/2 years but in that time i didn't date anyone because i knew we would get back together plus i had a son and that wouldn't of been right to have different men coming around the house. My husband and i started dating when he was only 18 we got married when he was 20 i was 26 so i had my running days out of me. After 18 years of marriage he wanted to separate it really hurt me but i agreed.  He wented to see what he was missing out on. He needed to see what it was like to live on his own so he got his own apartment now he could come and go without anyone looking over his shoulder. We talked every day on the phone and he would come over once a week to pay the bills. After about 7 months we started going out together and spending nights at his apartment we were having fun and enjoying each other again.  After 2 1/2 years he came back home a much better man and father. I believe by us separating is what it took for him to fall back in love with me. We now have been married 29 years and he spoils me rotten and loves me to death. None of this would have happened without a separation.

Answer 16

Maybe you need a break by stopping the fighting, go see a counsellor, take a holiday together, go on a date with him, don't nag and show him how fun you are to be around.  Marriage isn't easy, you don't just give up because things aren't going the greatest right now, have patience that good times are around the corner.  go to your mothers or friends for the weekend to get a break.

Answer 17

I'm taking a break tomorrow night... oh no, I guess not. I'm taking him with me. We're leaving the little guy with grandma.  

Answer 18

Marriage is just that: the binding together of two people. Its supposed to be forever, but sadly most people don't saty together. You need to work things out with your husband. There aren't "breaks" in marriage. Maybe you should both see a counselor, or see counselor separately.

Answer 19

There is no break in a marriage because you are not dating anymore you are actually "married". If you see other people it is considered cheating because lets say you meet someone new and fall in love with this guy you are not going to want to go back to your husband. Most likely things are never going to get better wtith a break it will only be temporary and things will go back to being bad. The man has to make all the effort he can because if not it means he does not really care.

Answer 20

Did you say til death do us part when you married ? theres no breaks unless its permanent.

Answer 21

you know it's time when you have to ask strangers on the internet

Answer 22

I absolutley think that it would be a great idea to take a break... not consider divorce but just take a break. Time apart may help. Maybe a week away with the girls will help!

Answer 23

It sounds like you two need counseling. If that doesn't work maybe a break would be in your favor. I've had a relationship that was like that, and once I left it felt like a heavy weight had been lifted. Good Luck!

Answer 24

My husband suggested this to me....taking a break...we are now divorced. He was just looking for a reason to feel OK about having an affair..."after all, we were separated". Well, you are still married and should not be dealing with anyone sexually, except a spouse. So, admit it, you want to try another man on for size...so get a separation and divorce...move out...etc. Get free....it is only fair to whomever you get involved with also. Good luck with common sense.

Answer 25

taking a break defeats the purpose of marriage,ya gotta suck it in, face everything and sort it all out, in spite of how you feel if sounds like you and your husband still have alot of passion,just don't waste it on fighting, if the 2 of you decide to take a break,take it together,go on a holiday together or see a live band.

Answer 26

no. marriage doesn't include taking breaks. go to counseling, communicate to him how you feel...try, try and try some more. taking a 'break' is a cowards way out of a difficult situation...if after putting a lot of effort and time, things still aren't working, like because HE really doesn't care, than you can walk away, but for good, not for a break.

a break is what you do when you are going out, not what married people do. sorry.