How do you know when you're ready to have kids?

Question

I want to have kids, I keep seeing people with kids and it looks so nice, but I still have, like 2 semesters before I finish my bachelors degree and I really want that done before my husband and I start to think about kids. And then my family (of course) keeps hassling me, "when are you going to have kids?" Anyway, I'm 25, how old were you when you had kids? Were you ready? Is anyone really ready before they conceive? Just wondering what other people's experiences have been

Answer 1

-you and your husband have an idea of how your children will be raised, and an idealistic plan for raising them

-you can support yourself and still have more to give to others(financially and emotionally ready)

-you have went over and considered all the responsibilities, difficulty and enjoyment of becoming a parent

-you and your husband have a good relationship and will provide a healthy environment for your children

-you are ready for changes in your life

-you are making your decision with your heart

If you went over all of the above and felt that you can/have achieved everything, then in my opinion, i believe that you are ready. But no one will really know if you are ready or not except for yourself, which is why the last point(above) is so important.

I hoped that helped, and good luck!

Answer 2

I'm thinking never. I'm never going to have kids. I know parenting would be a rough job for me, so I'm staying childfree forever.

Answer 3

You can never really prepare yourself to have kids. I had my first child when I was 21 and had my twins when I was 26. I was not prepared when I got pregnant with my daughter, but you soon get that way. I was in school and my career was just getting started, at the time I thought my life was over, but by the time she arrived I didn't care.

Answer 4

Generally, women are usually ready much before men. My wife and I got married at 30, and she became pregnant about 2 months after we got married, while she was on birth control. Neither of us were truely ready to have children.....or so we thought! It was honestly the most natural transition in my life. People always say, "when were financially secure, etc.... etc....." but that will never really come. You make adjustments in everything......BUT it's worth every moment!!!!

Answer 5

I don't think anyone is ever really "ready", I was married at 23 and really never thought about marriage or children until I met my husband and we wound up getting pregnant 1 month after the wedding. I can't say I was ready, but you do your best with whatever life throws at you.  I now have 3 children with 1 on the way. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Truth is, your never ready for kids! But its nice to be out of school, have a home, or an apartment, be stable, you shouldnt live from paycheck to paycheck, you should also be emotionally ready too, you should have a stable relationship, which it sounds like you do, my advice to you would be to wait until you get out of school! my Son was a suprise, I was in school, had to quit, I'm going back but my son was born right when the next semester started, so I quit for a while, my boyfriend was about to get laid off about 2 months after my son was born, and we were renting a little one bedroom apartment! Thankfully everything worked out for the best, my boyfriend has a really good job, were getting married soon, and hopefully the apartment will be the next thing to go! If you want kids now then go for it, it just makes it easier to have everything in order! but again, no matter how much you prepare, your never ready for kids, thats one thing you have to expierience to be ready for!

Answer 7

If you and your husband are financially stable and your relationship is good, and if you feel ready. You have to give your self up for your child. So if your still into going out you shouldn't have a kid because you will just blame each other for having to stay home and end up fighting.

Answer 8

No one is ready until the baby's here.  Trust me.  The more you obsess and think about it the more reasons you'll have to wait...  everyone has no clue until the baby is in their arms.

Answer 9

RIght now you have a goal to finish your degree, so maybe when that is finished you'll feel a need to plan for a child.  You and your husband can plan your careers and when you feel secure you will likely feel like you are ready for children.  It is a joint decision, of course, so one of you may be ready before the other one and if that happens you'll have to compromise or wait until the other person catches up.

I don't know if anyone can say they are ready before they conceive.  I was ready, but at the same time it's hard to be ready for something when you don't emotionally know exactly what you're getting into.  Maybe it is best understood after the fact?