How do you ladies feel about paying for part of your engagement ring?

Question

My boyfriend wants to buy me about a $7,000 diamond and I had picked out a band that was about 1200. He's a bit low on cash and I was thinking of giving him maybe $500 to go towards the ring. What do you ladies think? Good? Bad? Girls shouldn't pay?

Answer 1

I think it's just fine. I ended up falling in love with an expensive ring, so I offered to pay for some of it.  

Answer 2

I would personally not pay for my engagement ring. My boyfriend and I have talked about rings and he knows what I like and he knows what he can afford. If he can't afford it he either needs to wait before buying the ring if that's the one he wants to buy and save, or find something that's more in his budget. The ring is supposed to be a gift to you, why pay for your own gift? Once you are married you and him will share the price of just about everything, this is supposed to be something special for you. I personally think 7000 for a ring is a bit much, my boyfriends limit is about 2000, and i'm fine with that, 2000 is an awful lot of money as it is, i'd rather put 2000 on a ring and 5000 on the wedding.

Answer 3

i don't see anything wrong with it. mine cost $5000 and i paid for half of mine (willingly) because i think it is a commitment you are making together why should he have to pay alone? he did pick it out alone to surprise me, we just decided on a price and he went shopping and i wouldn't change it for anything i love my ring and knowing it was the first thing we worked together to get makes it more special.

Answer 4

How soon do you plan on getting married? If its soon, don't even think about paying part. If you can't afford to buy the ring, then how can you afford the wedding? Stick to a lower budget ring, or wait until you both have a little more money saved up.

Answer 5

I would never pay for my own ring but I would never have him buy me a 7,000 ring if he could not afford it it's not worth it you could use the extra cash for house or something that you need dont get me wrong I want a huge ring also but if you dont have the money you dont have the money what most people do is start out with something they can afford and as time goes on they increase the wedding ring you could think about that. You dont want him to go in debt for a ring b/c not only will it effect your credit but his also if you pay for half your ring its not as special b/c he didnt pick it out himself or pay for it himself it should be something that he has done just like how you pay for his ring. I dont think a ring is worth debt espically how the economy is right now get something you can afford hun and tell him you dont need a 7,000 ring just him wanting to marry you is special enough and honeslty if you get a smaller ring people will still like it!!! Good luck on your wedding I wish you the best.

Answer 6

NONONONONONONONONONONONONNONONONONONO might as well just go buy it yourself.  Take a ring he can afford  it is not about the ring it is about the love and committment.

Answer 7

I think if you are asking for something specific then there is nothing wrong with putting money towards it.  One of my friends (a guy) was asked by his girlfriend for a 2ct. ring.  He told her that he would get it for her as long as she put money towards it.  That's exactly what they did, and they were both happy in the end.    

Answer 8

If he wants to spend that much, let him. You shouldn't feel obligated to "chip in". Is he going to help pay for his wedding band (regardless of how expensive or inexpensive it turns out to be). The ring is a gift and you wouldn't "chip in" on a gift for yourself...

Answer 9

I think that he has bad money management skills.  Wants to buy you a $7000 ring and is low on cash?  If you're happy with the $1200 ring, tell him that's what you want.  If you want to give him a little towards it, I think that's fine, but I do think it sounds like he doesn't know how to manage money, and that's the problem.

Answer 10

I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with your sharing the cost of the ring. Think about it this way: once you are married, you will be sharing your finances anyway. You'll have the ring for the rest of your life, so you might as well get what you want if you can, and if your combined finances can afford it, then why not go for it?

Answer 11

i think a lot of women end up contributing toward the cost of it. most men put it on a credit card, and pay it off month by month. then once you get married, if you combine all your bills and pay together, then the bride ends up putting some of her own money toward the ring payment. i think it's fine

-  but i have to say, i think a $7000 is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a ring. save some of that money to go toward the wedding itself!!

Answer 12

Honestly, he needs to pick a ring that he can afford. If he can't afford the diamond he wants, then he needs to scale back a bit.  

Answer 13

Maybe I'm just traditional, but I believe that the guy should buy the ring.  I agree with other answers though in that your boyfriend really should set a realistic budget.  If he's low on cash then maybe he should save for a bit longer or else lower his budget.

Wanting to spend $7000 on a diamond is well and good, but you could get a diamond just as beautiful for much less.  Do some research on the 4 C's of diamonds and you'll see that by selecting, for example, a lower clarity and/or colour you can get a cheaper diamond which, to the naked untrained eye, will look identical to a $7000 one.  

I recently got engaged and my ring was 10,000euros ($15,000 approx).  My fiance & I went ring shopping together & he told me what his budget was & we only looked at rings in that price range.  

http://www.diasource.com/fourcs.htm

Answer 14

I think you need to lower your 'want' and since he's cash strapped, just have him choose something similar, but much cheaper.

In the future, it might bother you, and you don't want to be resentful.

http://www.kay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/ser...

Answer 15

You could put money toward it if you want it that bad. But think about his feelings that you are desiring something he can barely afford. Perhaps you do not need such as expensive diamond and are willing to get one that is 500 less or something so he can cover it. If you are considering a 7,000 diamond, I guarentee you one that is 6-6,000 will not be a meaningful difference. No one else would know but you. You save yourself $500 and you also help him keep his pride that he can do it himself! But if you decide to go down in price...don't tell him why. Just say something like...I love the 7,000 diamond; however, I feel it's a tad too big for my finger and feel a bit more comfortable with "this" one.

Whatever you decide to do though! But hey, you could still decide to give him the money! That's just my thoughts on it :)

Answer 16

This is just my opinion, but a woman should not pay for her own engagement ring. If he cannot afford it than he should be buying something that is more reasonably priced. I only had two criteria for my engagement ring. I wanted the diamond to be round and I wanted it to be paid for in full. Meaning, that my future husband would not be going into hock to pay for it. It didn't matter how big and shiny it was. All I cared about was that it was from him and that we were getting married. Of course, after saying that I didn't want him to break the bank he ended up spending more than I would have liked him too.

Here's the thing though. My future husband could afford to buy the ring. He had been saving a long time and had the money to buy the ring for me that he wanted. If your boyfriend does not have the funds available to buy the ring that you want than he needs to save up and you need to wait, or he needs to find something that lies in his price point.

The ring is a gift to you from him. It is the physical representation of his asking you to marry him. Tradition dictates that he buys it on his own.  

Answer 17

nope...I would not do it personally.

$7000 is not a cheap ring. If he is short on cash, can he afford the payments? You don't want to end up making the monthly payments.

Answer 18

If you're requesting a ring that he cant afford, then its fine for you to put money towards it.