How do you learn to not take things personally?

Question

I sometimes take what people say personally, and get mad or sad upon what they said. What is your advice? I am 18 years old. Thanks!!

Answer 1

Sometimes people can be insensitive about their choice of words and I know I'm guilty of this from time to time. Most don't mean any harm and the others are just jerks. Don't let what others say to you control your emotions so much. That makes you not much more than a puppet on a string. It's taken me awhile to learn this and I've also learned who I prefer to associate with and who to stay away from because of this. Some people are out to look "cute" or funny by putting others down because of their own low self esteem issues. These are the people I'd rather not spend my time with.  

Answer 2

A good way to learn to do this... I am still working on being better myself..is to try to stay calm, to think about all the good things people have said and maybe keep a compliments diary.

Write down only the compliments people give you and the day and who gave it and then when someone says something that you take personally look through the book again and see what others have said that was nice about it.

I also try not to deal with things right away when I get angry because you end up saying things you don't mean. So instead wait a few days and see how you feel then.

Also think to yourself that just for today...you will not get angry...just for today... you will not worry...just for today...you will be grateful for everything you have...if you can just try everything and commit only to a day, you won't have to get upset that easily.

Answer 3

Think of it this way:  Who are they in relation to you? If family and friends, listen, and take it with a grain of salt and put the comment aside, and look at it later when you are not 'mad or sad'.  Negative comments should be always be looked at as to why it was said.  Was your parent(s), or friends, angry,stressed, busy or preoccupied when it was said?  Sometimes it is not about you but about the other person.  Sometimes, you can see why they said what they said, and maybe in the future you can remember not to repeat the actions, and or behaviour.  I've always tried to turn a negative experience into something positive.  But remember that you can't always please everyone, that would be living a life as a doormat.

If the comment(s) are from someone you don't even know, an acquaintance, or stranger, they know nothing much about you, and should be disregarded, unless there is some truth behind what is said.  It might not be 'you' that made them make the comment but the 'behaviour'.

Answer 4

We all sometimes miss understand people or people are just mean sometimes. It's a learned thing. Like your self and be happy. Then these things will not seem to be such a be deal!

Good luck