How do you let a daycare child go??

Question

I have a little girl in my daycare that has become aggressive..i have MANY reasons as to why I need to let her go But am only using one reason...she is biting and has done better for a while then she bites again.. i cannot sit the other mom down anymore to tell her her daughter was bitten once again.. i fear i will lose them if i do not let the biter go...i am getting the baby too in july so i cannot have her having second thoughts on the care here her children will receive ..it is very difficult for me to do this but i know it is for the right reasons... i have not done it up until now because i did not have someone to take her place...but it got to the point where i said i have to let her go no matter what....BUT i got a call last night from a VERY nice mom who has a 3 month old daughter.

Answer 1

I would just let the mother know that her daughters behavior has become a hazard for the other children and you feel as though it is better if she could find another care giver. Especially if you have a had to talk to her before, it shouldnt be a surprise to her. You could probably do some research on the web for a letter of some sort.

Answer 2

How would this feel to me?  I would like to think I would understand, because you have told me before about my child's biting.  If she is paid up through the end of July then tell her now, and giver that time to find someone else, if she chooses to leave before that, you do not owe her a refund.....at least, I wouldn't expect one.......

As far as what to put into the letter......just state the facts; you hate to see ____go, but she is putting the other kids in danger, and you have tried to stop her from biting.  Also put in the fact that you have told them before about the biting, and it hasn't gotten better, so for the safety of the other children in your care, you need to have them find another daycare.

It is going to be hard for you to do.....just because you are a very caring person, and you choose to spend your days caring/loving other's children!  However, if someone could look into your brain and your heart, we would see that you are doing the best thing by letting this little girl go.

Good Luck

Momma P

Answer 3

Let her choose to leave immediately or in two weeks, but you HAVE to give her whatever refund she is do. If someone prepays, that doesn't mean you can spend the money. You owe her.  

I would make the same decision, but stop second guessing yourself.  Just sit down and write the letter and give her the 2 week option if that is what you have in your contract.  That child could bite again the next time she is there. Believe me, if I were a parent and the kid was biting MY child, I'd take her out immediately.  Lose the client.

Answer 4

I have been a licensed child care provider in my home for 20 years.  A biter can be an extremely difficult situation to handle.  I've dealt with a few, but never did it escalate to the point where I had to ask a child to leave.  I've used varying techniques to keep the biting under control, but I do know that there are some children who have a very difficult time with this.  If you are a licensed provider you probably have a local child care network or similar organization that supports and offers resources for providers.  Ours has a couple people they work with who specialize in behavioral issues.  One of them will come to your home, observe and work with the child, and then give you the tools you need to change the unwanted behavior.  You may want to look into the resources available to you before you give this family notice.  If, however, this isn't an option to you, then I suggest you do not send a letter to the family of the biter, but speak with them directly.  Pick up and drop off are not good times to communicate this, so a phone call to their home in the evening or over the weekend would be best.  It will be extremely hard to do, but I think if you state what you need to say simply without a lot of explanation it may be best.  Also, the more you can make it about what is best for their daughter may help soften the blow.  Unless your contract says differently, I would give the family 2 weeks notice, with a specific end date, and return the portion of the money they've already paid that is more than that.  As much as we want to be all things to all children, sometimes it just doesn't work out that way.  I know I struggle with that sometimes, still.  I have only had to let one family go.  When I talked to the mom, I focused on how the boys didn't seem happy and didn't seem to be adusting to my schedule and rules and I felt that they would be happier in another daycare situation.  I apologized that it didn't work out and offered to give a reference if needed.

Answer 5

First immense kudos to you for recognizing that this child is a danger to other children, and not wanting to continue to put the others at risk. At my son's daycare he and other kids were constantly attacked by two other kids, and those people wouldn't gt rid of them.

I would sit the mother of this child down and tell her. You tried to resolve this before and it has not worked. You have the safety of the other children under your care to think about. For their safety her child can no longer attend.

Answer 6

I would give her notice now that she needs to find a new situation by the end of July.  if she leaves before then offer to refund the money she has prepaid.  That is the only way to get through this.  She will still be mad no doubt but you are doing the best you can.  You need to tell her now ASAP to give her the most time you can give her.