How do you let your husband know the gift he got you isn't something you enjoy.?

Question

Me and my husband have been married for four years and in two months it will be four years. On our second aniversary he hired a male masseuse to give come to our house and give me a massage. The guy was great, but first of all there was a couple problems. My husband didn't tell me until the guy was at the door, and I hadn't shaved in a couple days and my legs were all stubbly, so I was kinda embarassed. But other then that, I just really feel uncomfortable with another man touching my body and making me feel good. So this comming anniversary he told me that he already hired the same guy again, and while this is very sweet, I honnestly would enjoy it a lot more if he did it himself with the massage oils and all, but for some reason he thinks that I would enjoy it better if a professional did it. I have talked to him about this, but he still has his mind set that I would really enjoy the professional better, any suggestions?

Answer 1

It's call open communication. If you don't say anything how is he to know what you feel and think. Give him a gift basket with a little note, all I need is the right man at the right time and give him the information in a s**y little way saying "Honey that man is always going to be you when you touch me etc "

One thing people forget is to express yourself and be creative in your own relationship. Give him a little push to what you would like.

Spice it up on your own.  

Answer 2

Tell hubby to call guy and cancel. Say you are ill wealth infectious fever. Then tell hubby no man is going to touch you from now on, except him, your hubby.

If hubby balks, tell him it feels invasive and you will not allow it. If hubby gets feisty and argumentative, say he is disrepecting you. If he argeues further, tell him that becuase of his attitude now, you'll be away for a few days without hubby this year for your birthday. Wait until he hears that. When he asks where, say ANYWHERE BUT AROUND YOU> YOU  do

not seem to care about my feelings or respect me. That's why. Plan to do just that.

If he askjs about the past massage, ignore the question and redircet to wqhat you need NOW!!!!

IO think he will Get the point. If he does nothing for your birthday, make SURE you do NOTHING for his.  If he continues behaving badly,makee sure not to iron, nor not do his wash, nor Cook for him.

The impasss will quickly disappear when he realizes he'd better shape up. I think he will adhere to your intitlel demands right away.

Answer 3

Well you could talk to him again about having him do it himself, but present it in an erotic angle.  Plan out a s**y night around it, and promise to make it worth his while!

If he still doesn't want to, I'm sure you could have him call up the place and at least have a female masseuse come instead.  That might be more comfortable for you.  

Answer 4

i dont know .

what i know is how to get what i want .

i make wish list and i tell him about it ( clearly )

i lean to do this cuz my husband is horrible with presents and he likes it cuz he ways gives me something that i really want it it ways a surprise cuz i pick more then one thing so i never know witch one he will get me .

Answer 5

Just tell him you tried it, and it was ok once, but you dont want to do that again. I cant imagine him wanting you to be uncomfortable for a present. You just have to get through to him. Besides, if you dont, you might get the same thing next year..lol tell him you are the only one that has experienced that guys massage so you are most qualified to decide if its good or not..  

Answer 6

tell a friend or family member to drop the hint, saying how their partner enjoyed it when they done it etc

Answer 7

Flat out tell him that you feel self conscious with another man touching you.  Tell him you'd prefer a day at the spa because its less personal than a home visit.  To me, its like he's hiring another man to get you ready for him.  Sort of gross, when you think about it!  Good luck!

Answer 8

By hiring a really ugly woman to come and do a massage on him.  Find one that is really grotesque.  When its over and he didn't like it, tell him that's how you felt when another man touches you.

It'll make him feel good that you "feel" that way.

Answer 9

Are you nuts?  I'd have my legs shaved and be waiting at the door with bells on!  

Answer 10

Well, in a very nice way, tell him that you appreciate what he is trying to do, but you are uncomfortable with someone other than him touching you like that. Then, if that doesn't work, hire the same man to give him a massage... chances are, he is going to be a bit uncomfortable about it, and tell him, "well, that's how I feel about it".  

Answer 11

Just tell him you loved the idea of the massage but would be more comfortable with a woman.

Answer 12

My suggestion would be to buy the massage for couples book and some oils for him to give you the massage. I would tell him that you were uncomfortable with another man touching you. If he persits on buying you a message instead tell him to get you a female or go to a spa together.  

Answer 13

Hmmmm... Let's se, you married this guy. so you must have some kind of connection. Here's a suggestion, COMMUNICATION ! just tell him. I think he would understand. I would take it as a compliment that my wife would rather have my hands on her than a professional masseuse. just tell him! good luck!

Answer 14

If he really wants you to do it then it's because it turns him on or he is getting his own massage somewhere....

Answer 15

hire a women to come to the house as well.  When they get there switch and have the man massage your hubby and the women massage you.  

Or you could give your husband a massage the night before and show him how it can be relaxing and a HUGE turn on at the same time.  Maybe then he will understand.  

Im sure hes just trying to be a good husband,

Good luck!

Answer 16

You need to be straightforward and tell him that you don't want that as a present. Tell him that you would rather spend time with you than have him waste money on something you don't want. If that doesn't work, go out and buy yourself an anniversary present and show it to him, that should hopefully get the message across.

Answer 17

Just be honest and tell him how you really feel about this.

Answer 18

How about a firm, NO, thank you.  Why would he want to push you to do something you are uncomfortable with?  Sounds like a weird scenario to me.  I can understand that he may not want to do it himself (laziness, perhaps?).  But, to force you into this scenario?  Makes me wonder why?