How do you like my poem? it's about time?

Question

The speed of time, only time itself makes.

Inaudibly ruling, deciding all fate.

The infinite game, fighting to find it. Inperceptually present, are we ahead or behind it?

Winding down, nearing fast, spinning around, sending the past.

Revolving, reverting, repeating it's own, creating ages for reasons unknown.

Each second so grand yet infinitesmal, one filled with joy, another so dismal.

Bewildered by where the last second went.

Awed by the concept of where it was sent.

Reaching time, can't touch it... It's coming... here... gone.

;)

Answer 1

Sounds like a finetuned rap. I like what you put into this rap, and find it an honest depiction of time, but I also think it needs a little more. I mean time itself, is that which gives everything its ability to exist, it needs greater homage.

But that's just what I think.

Answer 2

I think that this poem was good! It could've been very diverse and dynamic by adding more depth words, instead of rhyming most of the way through, though!

Answer 3

Hahah good job im impressed :)

Answer 4

i liked the poem. its cool how you described time in so many diferent ways. i really enjoyed the ending too.

good job =)

Answer 5

thats amazing =]

i think it would be better for you flow, if in the thrid line, removed the "it". it'll sound better =]

but srsly....THIS was amazing =]

Answer 6

Its not bad,but i can make it better if you like