Question:

How do you like my poetry?

by  |  earlier

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Yeah, I know its not the poetry section but I want the opinion of actual people not guys who sit in cafes drinking lattes and snapping. I figure if I put it here you guys will give some real opinions, Anyway:

I am my own man,

nobody understands,

they tell me if I can,

tell me if i can't,

But I am so sick,

of taking their kicks,

I'm like a clock,

and imma tick, tick, tick,

even if they kill me again,

I'll tell em I'm a man,

So try as they might,

and try as they can,

they'll never put me down,

when the **** hits the fan,

cause everything I say,

rings in your head,

day after day,

everything I said,

they stop the flood,

but they never stop rain,

and down we come,

with us we bring pain,

I could be lost,

but I speak the truth,

and I'm not sweet,

but I got a sweet tooth,

and try as they might,

still we will fight,

day after night,

cause our futures in sight,

we go on despite,

we have a right,

and into the light,

we slowly gain height,

I'll give you this insight,

don't fall,

don't laugh,

don't ever look back,

don't cry,

don't scream,

don't ever be mean,

and never take it,

ever on the phone

and never fake it,

unless your all alone.

like it? hate it? talk to me : )

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16 ANSWERS


  1. beautiful:]


  2. aawwweesomee :]

  3. I really really liked it.

    That is some good stuff you have there. No joke.

  4. real good, nice one! it's one that i am pretty sure many people can relate to

  5. the cut off sentences dont emhpasize anything other than the beat of the poem.. nothing stood out and i got bored.

    and these two lines have nothing to do with anything around them (or in the poem, period)

    "and I'm not sweet,

    but I got a sweet tooth,"

    unless you're trying to contrast the idea of something sweet with you declaring your manliness? but for what purpose?

    And what do you mean, "Dont laugh, /Dont cry /Dont scream?" Why are you telling people not to feel emotion? (and, thereby, not to live life?)  

    And "never take" what "on the phone"  and "never fake" what???? "unless your [sic] all alone" ???

    This really makes little sense. I don't know what your intent was here, because the messages seem very mixed..Maybe you should think about how you want your reader to feel and what you want him or her to think about when he or she is reading your poetry next time...


  6. i love it

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

  7. I like it. It has good rhytem. It talks about something many people face.

  8. AWESOME!!!

  9. i didnt read the whole thing but it sounds good

    mine?

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

  10. its not robert frost or egdar allan po, but i mean its ok.

    most things have already been rhymed though. poets in the 21st century are branching out away from basic rhyming concepts and going for some with a beat, or a rhythm that is soothing and stuff. its basic, that's my opinion. try and make one with rhythm instead. good start though.



    it could maybe be a song if edited a little. good job

  11. I'm diggin it

  12. DUDE!

    that's some sick writing. i really like it. nice rhyming! (=

    (Dr. Seuss should be jealous of you)

  13. I love it. That is so cool.

  14. i absolutely love it. very deep and thats what i like.

    keep doing what youre doing.

  15. i LOVE it! its something everyone can relate to, its not about happy birds or the morning light or something but its also not all emo... its very real and amazing! keep on writing!

  16. i love it! :] you're reeallyy goodd.

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