How do you like this as the frist page of my poem book,,

Question

down lifes road, by judy hibbs,,,when you read my poems, you are walking down my lifes road,,you are reading my thoughts, my fears, my happyness, and my tears,,so walk with me for a while..

Answer 1

Pretty good, sounds more like a quote than a poem. If its the first page of a poem book, i would want to read more of youre poems. This really brings people into a state of anticipation. For this page promises a poets misfortunes and triumphs. I would really like to see the rest of these poems. Its like a sign in front of an amusment park, it gets you ready for the rides. Keep posting!!!

Answer 2

I think you desperatly need an editor.

"Down life's road," by Judy Hibbs.

When you read my poems, you're walking down my life's road. You're reading my thoughts, my fears, my happiness, and feeling my tears. So walk with me for a while, and see what my road is like.

This is a great opening. Your telling the reader what to expect vaguley enough to pull them in, to captivate them, to make them want to read more.

I'd be honored to edit anything you want to have published. I wish I did. I'm not an editor or anything but I have been writing for more than five years now, and think myself a fair judger of all things defined as literure.

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