How do you like yourself?

Question

How does a person go about liking themselves after being told that they aren't going to make it in life, or aren't ever going to amount up to anything, or are useless?

Answer 1

If they are told they are worthless and will never amount to anything, that is pretty powerful stuff....it really hurts - and it would take affirmation from another person to make it go away. Get away from whoever is telling you that.....far, far away.....never speak to them again. Find someone who will like you for who you are, and is good at emotionally expressing that.

If you can't find anyone, then a therapist who is really warm, caring and is not afraid to laugh with you and make you feel human....that's the 2nd best alternative. Usually a close, caring relationship and zero contact with the verbal abuser is the best antidote. But in the real world, this is often hard to find.

It is very hard to like yourself if you are only around people who make you feel terrible about yourself. And those who tell you that it shouldn't affect you don't understand.....it hurts. Of course, liking yourself is a good thing, but it is hard to do it alone.  

Answer 2

I have a VERY close friend with the same problem, and there isn't a 'on the spot fix', the only thing you can do is stay strong and prove him wrong in the long run.  

Answer 3

If this makes you feel any better, a lot of us have had to deal with that.

It's not fair but it does happen.  When others don't encourage you,  YOU have to be the one who does that for yourself. You can work on your self image and self confidence but it takes some effort on your part. You can do it !  I can tell you it has been done !

I wish you would get this personalized book with YOUR name throughout each page and it is affirmations all about YOU.  Has a journal in the back. You have to regain the confidence that others took away from you. As I said you have to do something about it yourself for yourself.  This daily readings and affirmations about you is very powerful. You were born with a purpose and only YOU can decide or learn what that purpose is. You have been given gifts and talents you are probably not aware of yet. I can tell you  you were in the plan of God to be born and to live a great life !  You are not an accident no matter what anyone has told you.  God knows and He has planned for your life!  Get a grip on who you are and who you are becoming. Direct your own thoughts and opinions. They were wrong and you can learn the truth about YOU !  YOU can do this !  I promise. This can change your life when you just gain some confidence in yourself ! You can get the faithfirmations book or just the affirmations with out scripture.  All the promisses in the Bible are for you regardless of which book you choose !  Either is great .!

You deserve a great life so go after it yourself. NO one can do it for you, only YOU can do it !  Get this book for yourself.  Many athletics use it daily..  It is a great tool for personal success !  Change your thinking patterns to something good and positive for yourself.. YOU CAN DO IT !  YOU deserve it !!! Start today doing something for YOU !

Answer 4

You just have to learn to be yourself. Even if others don't accept it. Don't let someone label you or tell you what you can and cannot do with your life. I'm not saying be a rebel. I'm saying that you need to look inside yourself and figure out what your hopes and dreams are and go for it.  

Answer 5

well been there done that!!! you just have to look yourself in the mirror and like what you see, if its your attitude, change it! but otherwise ppl are just jealous, so dont listen to them

Answer 6

Don't believe them. Plenty of people who were told those things achieved greatness.

Answer 7

Take it easy, my friend. do not worry much, be happy. It is only temporary, you will have good times. pleasure is an interval between two pains.

Answer 8

just ignore the ppl who tell you that...and insult them back. xD And find friends who see the great  you that you really are.

Answer 9

here...i heard this on dr, phil the other day and i really liked it bc i am at a confusing state of life:  "You're only a failure if you're behind when the game is over.  And the game is not over.  you still have choices to make. ;  i liked it.  hope this helps!~ :) YOU be the judge of your success and failures, and don't count on others to do it for you.  trying to please everyone puts too much pressure on yourself.  just do it your way. ;)

Answer 10

Counteract Negative or Critical Thoughts About Yourself

Write down all the negative or critical thoughts and messages you hear inside your head. See if you can figure out who first said them to you (or said something of that nature). Then write out a response that counteracts each of those messages, one by one. Make the counter messages as strong and loving as you can.

If you're having trouble writing out counter messages, see if you can connect to a deep, wise part inside of you. Or write out what you would say to a friend if a friend said those things about her/himself.

Do Comforting and Nurturing Things For Yourself

Allow yourself to do comforting and nurturing things for yourself. Let yourself feel how good you feel when you do those things -- and tell yourself that you deserve to feel that way, to feel good. Gradually you'll find that the more nurturing and comforting times you have, the more you'll seek them out -- and they will help build a good feeling inside you.

Ask Yourself What You Need to Do

Some of these things will work really well for you, while others may not quite fit you. So try taking a moment to get quiet, and ask yourself, "What can I do to help myself feel more compassion and love toward myself?" Don't force an answer -- just let the answer bubble up from inside you. If you find it hard to hear the answer that way, try writing out your question, and then your answer. See what you come up with. You know best what works for you -- and you have great wisdom inside you.

Above all -- have compassion for yourself and for where you're at. Remember that you are a truly loveable person -- and that you deserve only kind treatment, especially from yourself. :)  

Answer 11

You just have to tough it out. Let words roll of your back, direct your resentment into doing something productive and focus on proving that person wrong.

Answer 12

only weak people let others define them; however, a person who overcomes an obstacle like that is a uniquely strong individual who can achieve anything.

Answer 13

You need to surround yourself with healthy people-- get toxic people out of your life so you can't hear their negative influences any more.  If dad bothers you, steer clear of him as much as you can. But the people in your life have got to be more than just dad. Especially now. So sit down and make a list of just who those toxic people are---you know who they are, it just takes honesty and a little thought to identify them.  Get as far away as possible from all of them. This, once you give yourself permission to do, will be easier than you think.  

You are vulnerable because your dad is creating the negatives, and it's difficult to keep your perspective with all the influence he has.  But guess what, you can keep as far from your dad as you can, and you can get an appointment with a school guidance counselor right away. Family counseling would be the best, but if your dad isn't going to go, you certainly would still benefit.  With a counselor to talk to, you end up feeling less dumped on.

Of course you love your dad.  That doesn't mean that you are supposed to be treated like an object by him.  I hope you give yourself permission to feel everything--you don't have to let it all 'roll off your shoulders'.  That would not be healthy.  And maybe your dad would want to know how much you are being upset by him--he loves you too.

Maybe after talking with a school counselor, you could just say to your dad that you want a healthy relationship and that things need to change for that to happen.  Adults get so caught up in their own worlds that they forget what their actions mean to others, loved ones included.  You might really surprise him.  

In the meantime, make an effort to lessen the impact that your dad has on you by adding other people to your life who help make you feel good about yourself.  Make a list of the people that you know are good for you--you know who they are, too, and decide to spend your time with them.  And make new friends, making sure that your new friends value you and give you positive feedback.

It takes time and practice to learn anything new, even new behavior patterns in young adulthood.  But every day that passes will reinforce the one before it--and it will get easier all the time.  Perhaps you could think of a hobby you enjoy and take just a fun class in that subject--there will be other people there to share your interests with, and begin new connections.  Can you take bowling class, or join a bowling league for people your age?

You need a fresh outlook, and that means you need people who will be positive--healthy is the word--to go with it.  The past really can be just the past.  Your dad will always be important but he is not supposed to be the center of your life, and he is not supposed to be upsetting you.  I think you can handle this, as long as you don't try to hold it all inside. This could turn into a real period of growth for you!  Loving someone means you want what is healthiest for both of you--even if it's you and your dad!

Good luck!  

Answer 14

My version of live and let live is to keep remembering that life is like a jigsaw and all the bits are needed.  Each bit is unique, and without any one, the picture is not complete.  I'm the right person to fill my particular slot and nobody else will do.  And besides, If God made me to be like this, I must be perfect just the way I am.  And God doesn't make mistakes.  

Long ago in school, we were asked to make a list of the attributes we would like in a friend.  Generous, thoughtful, willing to listen, helpful etc.  When my list was done, I realised that the friend I wanted sounded just like me.  Yep, I like myself.

Very likely your Dad doesn't literally mean all the things he says.  Don't let it get to you.  If you are still living at home, it's only a matter of time until you go on to college or move out for work elsewhere or because you have married.  If he is difficult now, listen but don't take it to heart.  Listen but make up your own mind in the end.  These days will pass.

Good luck !!!

Answer 15

you live and you learn...if you lived in a box your entire life, and you were told the moon was square, just for you to one day realize that its circular...wow, what a revelation. u believed your entire life the moon was square, until you saw it 4 yourself...

same thing with liking yourself...ppl can tell you that you are not; and the only way 2 change that internal notion is for you to see that you are

Answer 16

Does 'liking yourself' really come down to what others think of you? People who are affected by people who tell them nonsence must have low confidence to begin with. Only you can decide whether your going to make something in life, not him or her.

Make it in life. Make it at what? Getting an amazing well payed job? Getting into a univeristy? Maybe your idea of making it in life isn't the same as others. Maybe you will make it as being a really kind person. Or helping the enviroment, sticking up for what you believe it.

Amount up to anything. Also vague. Anything? What's anything? Learning about a particular topic that interests you means you have mounted up to something. Falling in love- mounted up to something. Dontating that bit of money to charity- mounted up to something for someone.

Useless. What a silly word. Everything has a use. Nothing has no use. You are great at running (perhaps!)  You are good at styling hair, you are good at being funny, or great at entertaining people at parties. You have so many good qualities. You arent useless.

All these words are phrases. Take what they mean literally and you will see that you are going to make it in life, you will mount up to something and you aren't useless. Remember that.