How do you live with losing a child?

Question

I lost a child in a accdeint many years ago and i still cry every day and long to hold my child when will it ever get better or will it .

Answer 1

Nothing will ever heal that wound completely. I am so sorry for your loss. Have you sought professional help? If you haven't please do. This is not something you can rely completely on a spouse or a friend for. You don't ever have to be ashamed to mourn your loss. I think I would spend the rest of my days with that sadness, but I would also have to remember that I have other children, and a husband that needs me. Take the time to mourn. But, you must live your life.

Answer 2

The terrible truth is that you don't live- you cope. The pain and longing will never go away, but ease over time. Time is great healer. You must still live your life though- do you think it would make you child happy if they knew quite how unhappy you are- no. You must be brave and strongfor yourself. Life is for the living and you must live my dear dear friend. Your baby is safe from harms reach - now you must learn to bandage you wounds and limp on. I wish you all the best and know that you are not alone in this harsh world.

Answer 3

I have never lost a child but I do think about it all the time.  I am such a softy at heart and can't imagine loosing my child.  I fear for her life, though she is only 3 right now I wake up in the middle of the night having horrible dreams about something happening to her.  It really takes over my mind and it makes me so depressed.  I fear for her now and I ALWAYS think about when the time comes when she will leave the house by herself.  Mainly because of all the sickos in the world is what I really worry about.  For some reason I don't think about the accidents AS MUCH but I do...  I am so sorry for your loss.  I can't imagine what you are going through and even though I don't know you I wish I could take that pain away.  My child is so precious to me and I don't ever want to let her go. I am sorry...

Answer 4

Sweetheart I KNOW your PAIN FIRST Hand...I lost my 9 year old son Tyler 12 years ago in a drowning accident up at Yosemite Falls...and my answer to you is,NO the pain does not go away completely because you always wonder about The, What would have beens...what would he look like now?Would he have gone on and graduated College? Would he be married and have children yet? What would THEY look and BE like?...(YES,I mourn for the lost grandchildren I would have had from that Wonderful Boy (who would now be a Man)...so many things that could have been but aren't and never will be...But honey I pray you have other children...HOLD them close and remember that they are your Living,Breathing embodiment of your Lost Child...LOVE THEM and be so THANKFUL for the Special Time, although short that you were given with your child that has gone on...You Will See Him Again..I am so very sorry for your GREAT Loss...My Blessings To You Honey...~~Michelle~~

Answer 5

If you are still crying every day and you lost the child many years ago, it's time that you get some professional help.  Clearly, you don't know how to cope with this death and need help in doing so.

My grandmother lost 2 children to accidents (one drowned, another hit by a car on the way to school).  She was devastated, but she says 'you just have to take the time to grieve and go on.'  She never forgot the children, but you also can't live your life grieving every single day.

Answer 6

Losing a child is the worst pain anyone can ever go through,regardless of the age of your child.

I don't know if it will ever get better.

Perhaps a support group of people who have been through the same experience may help.Your local hospital may be of help.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Be as well as you can.

Answer 7

I starred your question because I have a cyber friend who is dear to me that has gone through this and I'm hoping she will see this through me starring your question.

Even though I haven't gone through this, I can't imagine the pain going away, but may be subsiding some.  I wish I had more comforting words to say.  I pray that you find peace so that you can heal inside.

Answer 8

I'm not exactly sure how you feel but I'm a very emotional person, i cry a lot, so i could understand to an extent, your sadness, and how it can be so powerful, and how it can take over your happiness that you have had before....If you believe in God, honestly i believe that you need to / or should just build a very close relationship with him and just open your heart to him...and he Will give the healing that you need...he is your savior......he honestly knows how deeply in pain you are in.....Perhaps maybe you should consider having another child allowing the spirit of the child you had before to live through the next...it would make you feel physically closer, and even in others way you could imagine.....i honestly believe in my heart that this may help ;). My prayers our out to you and your precious child* God Bless

Answer 9

That is one of the worst things in terms of life stressors, along with losing a spouse, that one person can go through. As a matter of fact it ranks as one of the top life stressors. As Dave Matthews once said, "you should never have to bury your own babies"- that lryic resonantes in my head frequently.

All that said doesn't make anything easier, but how do you cope? Everyone has their own way from proactive advocacy (i.e. if s/he died from cancer, devoting your life to cancer research, benefits, etc.) to therapy and/or drug intervention (prescribed...as in anti-depressants, I'm not saying to turn to illegal drugs to help you through) to support groups. The God's honest truth is that you're never going to forget but there are methods and things you can do to help yourself deal and make it through.

I've watched a number of my friends be buried young and learned a lot from observing their parents and how they face the death of their children. It's never going to be easy but you need to come to terms with it and find peace (somehow) and a way to not move on, but move forward.

Best wishes to you and from one parent to another, my most heartfelt condolences.