How do you look past all the little annoying things your spouse does without complaining all the time? ?

Question

We have been married for 8 years now and I am sick of complaining about the same things. He isn't going to stop being the way he is and I know I have to either accept him or move on, but I don't know how to accept him without getting so annoyed and frustrated all the time. I keep a journal, but it is basically to vent and to use just in case he ever asks why I am leaving him, if I do decide to leave.

Answer 1

Well, those frustrations come in most relationships after a while. Remember, it is not the first date, the first naked body to be touched, the first kiss and the beautiful roses.... so best is find something to yourself you like, and be a bit more selfish. For example, join a dance class, or gym, or girly day out.... i mean not dating others with other single girls, but things that can give you enthusiasm to see things more positive. May be he had enough too from the routine and he is on purposely annoying you for it. I know a friend who's married for 10 years and the same goes with her husband. I told her 'listen, go start a gym something and make yourself something' since then she says she is more fresh when comes home, and can handle little things that used to bother her. Believe me, all men are annoying after a while. So best is just find something to smile in your own secret heart and make yourself the person you want to be: free in your free soul of something that is a project of ME MYSELF AND I and NOT husband husband husband husband...food food.. cook cook... kids kids - and then ... I HATE HIM! - you know what i mean??!!! good luck girl, life is short don't let others control it ! you do something to your life!! change the routine!

Answer 2

You have two choices: counseling or divorce, your choice.

Answer 3

shut your mouth, throw away the journal and suck it up.  would you rather spend 30 minutes documenting on your journal or venting online about him leaving the dirty clothes on the floor, or 5 minutes cleaning it up?

or would you rather be happily married to a man who is no different from any other except that he treats you well and tolerates your complaints about trivial things?

i'm sure he's worth it.

Answer 4

When he gets on your nerves walk away breath and do something you like that takes your mind of it. Then when you are in a better mood you know it is safe to return to the common area. Kind of like what you do with the journal but instead of focusing on what he does that is stupid you will be tuning it out.

Answer 5

Try thinking about something else... something nice that he did for you and focus on that.

Also, some situations you may be able to avoid or work around. eg if he is always late, set the clocks in your house ahead by five minutes.  

Answer 6

I've been married 3 times. No big surprise, sense I've mentioned it a hundred times. lol  But yes, they all did things that annoyed me, but I swear to this, I only complained out loud about the infidelities, the lack of attention the children were getting.  

I think at the time, I felt their annoying things were bothersome, but I was sure I had some too, that they didn't mention.

Your right, he won't change.  My last husband thought it was so funny to pass gas when my friends were over. They'd leave without even saying goodbye.  He reminded me of a d**n ugly dawg marking his territory!  Gross PIG!

Answer 7

I ask myself how this annoyance really affects the 'big picture'.  Or does it affect the big picture?  

Are the dishes in the sink going to really affect my life?  Are the clothes on the floor life or death?

NO.  Just assess how important it really is.