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How do you love your mom after she lies to you about who your dad really is?

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Growing up as a child my mom always treated my brother and I differently. For the first seven years of my life I lived with my great grandmother. So for a long time I never knew I had a brother, after my grandmother passed away my mother had to take me and bring me into the family she had started in another city. After I went to live with her, my life turned to turmoil. My mom treated me like she hated me. I wanted to live with my dad(who I thought was my dad) for a long time but my mom would not let me. She never put him on child support for whatever her reason were? ah? her reason was she knew he was not my real dad. I found out at 35 through DNA testing who my real dad was, after the truth came out she went on to say he raped her and if she could have gotten an abortion back in the 70's she would have, yes she said this to me and our relationship has not been the same since. I spent so many years alone and wanting a dad to protect me from her and someone to share good things with in my life. She has never complimented me. She brags to other people about me, but never ever has she told me. It was not until I was around 28 when we started to get closer that we would say I love you after a conversation. Needless to say that has all changed. I did seek couseling and that was the best thing I could have done for myself. I went to see my mom last weekend and I felt really sorry for her she is a diabetic with HTN and depressed because she is in a sorry marriage.A part of me feels really sorry for her, but there is a part of me that does not. If I could live the rest of my life and only have infrequent contact with her and no contact with my brother. I would be just fine.

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  1. It is never easy to be a mum. responsibility and being committed she mush have her own reason to do what she did.

    Forgive her as she is taking care of you  and she is proud to have you.


  2. your mom sounds like she has had a rough life but that is no reason why your life should be hard, forgive her for what she has done and just work on living a happy life

  3. I met my biological father for the first time when I was 16, I'm now 28. I've seen him four more time since with the promise of "Wow we have to stay in touch, I want you to meat my side of the family blah blah blah." I've learned as much as I've been waiting for my white knight of a father to come in and save me, he never will. My mom did not encourage me in the least to make a connection with him and that used to frustrate me, turns out he wanted my mom to get an abortion with me. Basically what I've done is promise to my children I will NEVER EVER abandon them or make them feel as lonely as he did to me. You have to learn from this, take the lessons out of the situation and apply them to your life! I'm sorry you feel the way you do, but take it and become stronger, don't let the sadness of the situation eat at you like I did, because now it effects every relationship I have.

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