How do you maintain composure when one tries to upset you?

Question

I work in the corporate world, and seem to be an easy target because people know if they upset me I get really upset. I wished I wasn't like this, but it is hard to maintain composure when I know they are trying to get a rise out of me!!!!! The more I try to defend myself, the more crazy they make me feel. Are there any suggestions...its gotten out of hand.

Answer 1

I do like the answer of slapping the person but that may get you into trouble and that is what they want.  Don't defend yourself.  What ever they say try to find some truth with it and agree with them.  Your absolutely right i am ugly but not everyone is as good looking as you, your right i am stupid, i wish i was *** smart as you, etc.. I added a little sarcasm to it to let the person know I'm not a push over.  Thank you for pointing that out for me, etc., etc. It is a disarming technique and it does take some practice.  After a while, and it may be a long while, they will give up.

$.05 please

What does yahoo answers have against the word "as"  it keeps *** it out?

Answer 2

Try breathing. Take a big breath in and then let it out slowly. Hopefully that will help in the kind of situations that causes you the most amount of grief.

Answer 3

Slap them across the face.

Answer 4

My grandmother said ppl like that needed a good letting alone.   In her view that kind if behavior showed they were so low they were not worth responding to. She had a point.  The thing someone like that wants most is to see you get riled up so the worst thing you can do to them is not even bother to respond.   Those who know you know you and know the stuff they say isn't true.  Those who don't know you yet will be more likely to think their trash mouthing is true if you are defensive.  

A couple of things that have helped me are to pray for the offensive person and ask the Lord to give them peace. We reap what we sow so asking for peace for them opens us up to receive peace ourselves.   When I am no where near spiritual enough to do that a puzzled look even looking them up and down from head to foot (much the same look you'd give a muddy puppy) and "whatever would put something like that in your mind? " Then hush and leave them fumbling and feeling dumb.   If you can see them coming (not just physically see them but recognize when they are about to lob off an attack) you can often divert then before they start by asking their opinion on something they like sounding off about and you could care less about.   Chances are good they will start in about that and loving the sound of their own voice will go on and on and wear out their need for attention that way.   It is only a very insecure person who really has a low opinion of themself who will try to attack anothen person and the attack is usually directed against someone to whom they feel a bit inferior. Maybe knowing that as much as anything else can help you keep your cool just as you wouldn't get down and wrestle with the muddy pup in your good work clothes.   If all that fails picture them with a red clown nose and orange fuzzy hair sticking 6 inches out their ears.    

Answer 5

When i know that they are TRYING to upset me, i can handle that pretty easily.   I think because I know they aren't focused on the truth - so why should I get involved in their drama or fantasy?  

Don't defend yourself unless it is important to the job -

laugh at them, and say something that indicates this doesn't bother you.

like,

"there you go again, John."

"Whatever you say, Jane"

but laugh - don't grimace.

Answer 6

Practice.  Get friends and family to test you, and focus on being discreet with your emotions until it becomes a habit.

The only way to change the way you react to something is to repetitively practice your reaction differently until it becomes habit.

If you don't want to do that, use the count to ten rule.  If someone says something to irritate you -- take a deep breath and count to ten, then respond.  Instead of pursuing the subject, change it or walk away from the conversation (if it's appropriate).  Don't let your emotions rule your response -- just take time to collect yourself before responding so that you're thinking logically.  That way you won't get upset, and eventually your coworkers will find another way to entertain themselves.