How do you make a long distance relationship successful?

Question

how?

my boyfriend and i of 4 years are in this long distance thing for more than a year, due to me going to college.

and i feel like he's not making enough effort to show me that he misses me. i feel so lonely and miserable because of this. i told him how i felt about this, but blames everything on me and doesn't even bother to be there for me.

i don't know what to do, should i just take a break without telling him, so he can think about what he has done to me?

help !

Answer 1

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Answer 2

Yall should write letters, email, phone calls just to say good morning or I love you.  Keep things open, make sure you communicate throuly and see each other as much as possible if you have time off from school. Make sure the long distance relationship doesnt create distance in your relationship ya know?  If he is not trying then it just shows you how much work he is willing to put into the relationship.  This should be a clue, if he is not working hard now then will he work hard when bigger problems occur??? Good luck and I hope everything works out. Maybe your dream guy is at your school....

Answer 3

Sorry to burst your bubble dear. But trust me, THEY DON'T WORK!!!

Answer 4

Sometimes when two people are going through a long distance relationship, they tend to kind of lose the idea and presence of ech other day by day. I think long distance relationship will only work if the relationship was really really strong enough in the first place. Especially when you're the one that's leaving him behind, I think he feels like you should be the one who shows that you misses him and stuff. Maybe he have something in mind that he's afraid to tell you. Thats all I have to say, but you do whatever you gotta do if you really love this guy. Good luck!

Answer 5

yes you should take a break from him. He probably misses you but doesn't want to show it. It is always nice to take a break from people sometimes when you always talk to them and be with them.

Answer 6

your relationship with him is turning unhealthy for the both of you. you need to just break things off before it takes over your emotional health. im sorry but maybe it is for the best of you both to just move on as much as it hurts. things happen for a reason. do whats best for you

Answer 7

Long distance relationships are usually more trouble than they are worth. Talking over the phone and/or internet has nothing on spending time with the person and lets not forget about s*x (a very important part of most healthy relationships). Based on what you said I think you would be better off looking for something new. This doesn't really answer how to maintain a long distance relationship, rather advise not to claw onto something that is dieing

Also:"take a break without telling him"? aka cheat on him? Weird relationship strategy =/

Answer 8

My husband and I talked everynight on the phone and also IM and texted each other. We visited each other every third month. I was in school and couldn't move in with him. I lived in CT and he lived in Texas

I hate to say this but for it to work both sides have to make an effort. He might be taking his own break- Instead of being miserable get a social life and get active on campus meet other girls and guys and relax. If it's ment to be it will be

Answer 9

if u dont know them like ever seen them face 2 face then say anything  they want 2 hear

Answer 10

You  cant make it succesful  .hes already giving you the clues hun.  

Answer 11

In my opinion....move on, enjoy the college life.  He should not make YOU feel guilty for wanting an education.  There are PLENTY of other fish in the sea...have fun!

Answer 12

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Answer 13

Idk i don't think you can but you can talk on the phone if you can afford it and maybe see when you can meet up if possible

Answer 14

I dont think a long distance relationship can be successful. Eventually people get lonely and need someone there for them.

Answer 15

I think you should move on  with your life. Enjoy college, its an experience. I broke up with my girlfriend before college started. (We came up with an agreement, and it turned out to be the best). Study, party, enjoy life girl.

Answer 16

You can't MAKE a long-distance relationship work.  They either do or don't, according to how healthy they are.  Let me explain.

I've done long-distance twice.  The first time, it fell apart.  I was absolutely devastated at the time, but looking back, I'm able to realize that the distance was actually a blessing.  Ultimately, our relationship just wasn't meant to be.  I thought it was happy and perfect, but when the trial of distance came, it wasn't able to handle it.  The distance helped us learn things about our relationship, ourselves, and each other much more quickly and completely than we would have if we had never faced that trial.  I am thankful that we faced and failed it.

The second time I faced long-distance worked.  We are now married and don't have to worry about distance anymore (except the occasional business trip).  Once again, the distance was a blessing which refined our relationship by fire, as it were.  Except this time, it brought us closer rather than farther.  Yes, it was VERY hard to do.  But a strong, healthy, growing relationship will naturally have both parties communicating/chatting/emailing/calling as much as possible, and scheduling visits as often as is feasible.  They take care of themselves.

My point?  The worthy relationships will feed themselves on hope, determination, and courage.  The unworthy relationships nibble themselves to a premature death on doubt, weariness, and fear.

Listen to your own heart.  If all you have are doubts and uncertainties, follow that.  I know for a fact that long-distance can go either way and what it looks like each time.  I also know for a fact that even if it breaks your heart to let it go now, you still WILL be able to look back and be grateful you brought yourself through such a challenging situation.  Hold your head up, reach out to your friends for support, and cut him loose.