How do you make casual conversation without interviewing a person?

Question

My boyfriend lives with three other people and there are often other visitors in the house. When I'm sitting around in the common areas, I want to make casual conversation so that I can get to know and generally have a good time with these people. But sometimes I can't think of anything to say! And the more I think about it, the more my mind goes blank. My instinct is to start asking interview-style questions like what they are studying in school, how many siblings they have, etc. which feels kind of uptight or lame or something. I admire how other people can just start conversations about random things. What are some tips for doing this?? Thank you so much!

Answer 1

Make a comment. "Hey, I love those shoes. Are they comfortable? Where did you get them at? They look really cute on you!!!" (it helps when you mean it.)

Once a positive comment is made, most people latch onto that and it will go from there. If you talk about yourself...its a big turn off!!!

If they are common people (who you see every day, or once or twice a week) try to find out what they are into. Like, "hey, I heard you know how to play a guitar. I just got one, and i was wondering what you thought about it."

Anyway, I hope this helps.

Answer 2

My advice is start with small-talk, I know it’s going to seem a little awkward at first, but try finding something basic that the both (or all) of you can relate to, like music!

That’s how I start off with most strangers.

The wonderful thing about music too — besides the fact that everyone listens to it in some form or another — is that there is so much to it, so much you can expound upon within that single subject. You can exchange ideas on what certain songs mean to you, what feelings and memories they evoke from your experience, why you love them.

Movies and Celebs are other great flood gate openers.

So in short find something you’re interested in that others might be able to connect with.

I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Talk about their clothing style, children, weather. Start with a non-sense casual remark like 'I'm feeling cold today. How about you?' If the person is friendly, they will chip in with their own casual remarks. Inquire about general things and gradually progress the conversation.

Answer 4

Well for starters never ask yes no questions, these always lead to dead ends or "surverys" as one would call them

I would say Try to find 3 to 4 different topics under seperate genres, such as Music, Tv/movies, School/Summer stuff etc.... and try to ask a question that would provoke a long asnwer rather than a 1-2 word response

Now don't give this too much thought but don't give it too little, if you think too hard about it (or plan ahead too much) u'll sound like ur reading off a script, just have a general sense of what you'd like to talk about and then let ur intuition just flow w/ it

Answer 5

It sound crazy...but ask them about something random and not personal.  For example..after all the small talk of "hi, how are you, it's hot out, it's suppose to rain tomorrow, etc..."  Bring up something you saw on the news, or heard on the radio...something news worthy.  You don't want to ask simple yes or no questions you want to people to have to talk to you.  So say something like "did you hear about the guy who ..... , yeah I heard it on the radio they said......"  it will start a whole conversation about that particular story then lead to something else and before you know it, you've carried on a full conversation and made some new friends.

Answer 6

It's sometimes intimidating to the other person or people, but if I know that I'll be spending time with some people, I ask them to tell me their life story.  The reaction tells you a lot about the person and the answer will tell you what the person believes if is important (because they won't mention the unimportant things).  If the person doesn't know what to say, ask the interview questions one after another to give them ideas: what are your hobbies, where are you from, do you have siblings, what do you want to do when you grow up (that one is fun to ask of people who are older!), etc.

This is a good conversation starter if you're comfortable asking.

Answer 7

Look around the room.   Find an object (like, say, a lamp or an interesting vase).   Let your mind wander for a minute, just get a train of thought going.  Like, you go from a vase to the time your sister broke a vase, to how your parents punished her, to that time you were grounded, to the fact that you were grounded for crashing the car, to the fact that you took the car in the first place to go dancing with your bffs, to...  IDK, whatever.   And when you find something that you have a lot to say about, bring it up in a casual way.

Say the final result of your train of thought is about high school football games, and you love football.   Bring up casually 'say, did you see the patriots game last week...?'   And if they like football too, the conversation just flows naturally.   If they don't, they'll say so and then the ball's in their court.  They have to be the next one to try and make conversation.

But see, I'm really not qualified to give this answer.  I'm a reporter, I ask questions, it's just how I roll.   I asked a good friend of mine this same question a few months ago and this was the answer she gave me tho, so....

Answer 8

Just find a random topic to talk about! Make a joke about something your bf has done recently, etc. Compliments also work nice so through some in, and even maybe go on to have a convo about info on it, and go on from there. =D