How do you make yourself get and get going after you lose a child?its been 8 mons. ?

Question

i drink at nite til im sleepy, sleep all day cause im really sleepy, dont do anything unless i just have to. please dont harp on the drinking. i need real answers. from someone who knows what im feeling. URGENT!

Answer 1

It's going to take awhile longer, like at least a year.  And then at the anniversary of the child's death, it'll hit you hard again...

Give yourself a break.  You are doing ok.  Just take it slow.  When you are ready, you'll be ready and not before.  You can't MAKE yourself "all better".  It has to happen at it's own speed.

That's a fact, Jack.

Sorry for your loss. :-(

Answer 2

im so sorry for your loss!!  my brother was murdered dec. 19, 2001.  

still feels like yesterday.   my mother started taking sleeping pills to help her sleep.  she has her days stilll when she drags (we all do for that matter)  losing a loved is awful.  i do know that we all talk about him and the situation, still.   it helps all of us to get it out and share.  dont let them be forgotten.    so sorry for your loss.   u need to mourn. we all do it differently.   try to keep loved ones around you.  good luck and God Bless.  

Answer 3

wel quit the drink for a start, your problems r stil goin to be there when your sober, you cant run away from them. and you shouldnt push yourself to get out if your not ready!! if your stil grieving, let yourself grieve....it takes time....

sorry for your loss

though words mean nothing to how much you'v lost

Answer 4

im so sorry i havent been through that but if u need someone to talk to im here i have 4 kids i couldnt inagine the pain u feel.i really hope everything gets better for you,and im sure it will..just think your child is in a better place and im sure happy..

Answer 5

sorry to hear about your loss :((  Try being with your family and close friends,ppl that you love and used to make you laugh. Maybe get away for a weekend? Nature helps me,that's my way of mourning,i go out of the city and walk all day long in the forest. But get out there,you gonna feel worse isolated.

Hope you feel better soon  

Answer 6

First off, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain you are in, so any advice I offer may not be even close to what you need. When I was in the 7th grade my best friend passed away. I remember her mother afterwards and it was heartbreaking. She didnt deal with it well, and looking back on it, I dont blame her and dont know how she got through it. I have a friend who recently lost an 11 yr old and she has dealt with it a bit better because she has worked at facing her pain.

If I were you I'd find a support group of other grieving parents, who can share in your pain. Nobody knows what you are feeling, except those who are going through it as well.

I'd also try to cut back on the drinking. I know its helping numb this right now, and honestly, that might be what you have needed to get through these 8 months, but if you dont stop and face this and work through it, you will only spiral downward. You might not be ready to face it yet, everyone is different. 8 months might not be enough time for you. Don't rush this. Your heart is broken and needs to heal slowly. Nobody can expect you to be over this quickly.

Don't lose yourself over this. Its not what your child would have wanted. You will never get over the pain of this, it will just dull over time. You'll always love and miss your child- and that's okay, just don't waste your life drinking and sleeping. You can get through this. Just believe that you can.