How do you manage having a relationship?

Question

I assume when being in the Military it's easier to have flings rather then to keep a serious relationship going. I'm sure some people can make it happen, but how do you switch from being a fighter..To someones lover?

I always wonder how people do it...I always thought that a husband would come back desensitized , how does he switch back to being a loving husband after seeing death and destruction?

Answer 1

you need jesus!

just kidding. i read your profile and wanted to keep your streak alive. good luck.

Answer 2

Well for just being stationed without deployments overseas, it's simple. It's just a normal lifestyle with benefits.

Although going overseas to combat does change things but normally women like that sort of stuff. They like a man that's not afraid and has seen the worst of the worst. There's a real world out there that people are uneducated about because of the d**n TV. All the pretty lil boys and girls watching MTV all day and not knowing what the real world is really like. This world is full of hate, some people just shelter themselves from it.

Answer 3

it takes time and a dedication to your marriage.  everyones experience is different.  Even for guys that sat right next to each other in the same humvee.  For some people its easier to come home and forget about what they saw and did, and for some that knowledge eats them up.  hence ptsd.  the military has a mandatory reintegration program that begins the transition to garrison life.  i have some really good friends who came back and were fine, and some other good friends that came back and just couldn't get a handle on their ptsd.  its hard, but you can do it.  

Answer 4

We in the military are very good at developing "multiple personalities." We get very good at turning it on and off to protect the ones we care about from the things that we experience. It's just part of the job.

As far as having a fling...... honestly, every time I have deployed, I had much more pressing issues on my mind then when I was going to get laid again.

Answer 5

I won't lie, I was so busy, s*x is the last thing on my mind. The home comming were fantastic! I can tell you, after 21 years in the Navy I had to readjust my priorties!  I was home every night unless I was working out of town.  The Mrs. and I had to restart all over again! Yes, it was slow going. After being together all the time since I retire,d it's been great. We can actually talk and express ourselves without the kids around to interrupt. I still open her doors and am not afraid to show my affection in public. We smooch in Walmart!  Bear with your service man he's trying the best he can. Be there, love him and remember he went volentarily. Your job is just as tough. You will have to raise children, deal with broken appliances and keep things on an even keel.

Answer 6

Not all guys can switch back to being a lover (especially after a deployment where they see combat). My boyfriend has extremely mild PTSD but we still have a great relationship because we're constantly communicating with each other. He knows he can talk to me about anything (and I can talk to him about anything) and I know when to push because he actually needs to let something out, or when to just let him be.

Answer 7

wow..thats deep...well im not sure how to put this into words. its just instinct to survive and protect your own....and the girl at home is what you lived for to get home and see her. for me i forgot everything else when i saw her face. it was perfect. complicated i guess.