How do you manage money with a family of 3 or more?

Question

All the money management sites I go to only do hubby & wife. I understand that kids don't bring in income. I simlpy saying how do you add that into money managing?.....Hubby sucks with money. I am not the best either but I keep track of what I spend opposed to him just pissing it away then checking. I personally think that we should rid ourselves of our debit cards because instant gratifacation it what kills us. Self control is necessary but how can we help not spend on things we don't need? Any one been a poor money manager that got better PLEASE HELP!

Answer 1

You need to take a hard look at your spending.  It seems that you have started to do that.  If getting rid of debit cards and credit cards is going to help you control spending, I'm all for that.

You need to include the cost of having a child in any budget that you have.  If that means adding an extra $100 a month/week to your food budget, then do that.  

You can do the same thing with a spreadsheet program like you can with any budgeting software program.

Answer 2

I have been in your situation and I still struggle weekly with my husband.

We do have boundaries now. It helps a lot. We are no longer in the hole because of instant gratification. He has a serious weakness to tool trucks coming by the shop where he works. He is a mechanic, and of course he thinks he needs everything they have to make his life easier.

Meanwhile he is unaware of inflation and the growing stomaches of teenagers. He is coping though, and learning with weekly talks.

Here is what we did to solve the crisis. I wrote everything down on paper. I wrote everything, from bills to spending money, to groceries, to lunches to extra's. Gas, smokes, it was all on there. I addded it all up and then compared it to the amount of money that is brought home (net pay).

Then I split the list into sections.

First there was Bills that are already made. I put them in order from highest to lowest so we could see the large amounts first. Next there was the groceries, gas, smokes, and anything that might not be an actual bill. Like things we don't receive a bill for in the mail. THen there was the extras. The extras are things like the amount of money he spends for lunches, stupid stuff, snacks, wants that don't better the family as a whole (for mine it was tools). This is all figured up after I put him on an allowance of cash. He is not allowed to use his debit card unless he calls me first to see how much money is in the account. This is a fatal flaw, but he is very good about it now. He used to be really bad. He gave me his card for a year and I gave him $20 in cash each week. After a year, he no longer felt the urge to blow and go. He managed money by knowing how much cash he had on him.

After splitting up all the bills, and comparing them to the income, seperate them into four weeks. You want to add each week intot he formula the groceries and the extra's like his $20 in cash, and kids lunch money, whatever there is. You also want to throw in an extra $20 that you will put into a savings each week, and the extra $20 for you as well. It will make you stronger.

After splitting it up into four weeks, you want add up each weeks' payout compared to each weeks income. If the first of the month has higher bills, call the company on one or two and see if they will allow you to move the dates around. THey all do it. You want each week to be under the amount you bring in obviously.

I have found that once you put it on paper and you show your husband how much is physically going out on frivolous stuff while he complains ya'll are broke, he will understand how he needs to help in the situation by using only cash. Tell him to give it a week or two and if he simply cannot survive with just cash then you will talk about giving him the card back. He will see by the end of the first week how much money he is left with and be very proud of his accomplishments. At the end of the first few weeks go over the bills with him and show him the progress so he will be encouraged to stay with the plan.

I had no concept of money when I first married my husband and now I have revolutionized how we spend and save.

It takes a strong will not to go and blow money when you are sad over things, but I just remind myself of higher priced items I am saving up for and this gets me along to the next week without spending on extras.

To start with all the extras need to go. Clean your house up and have a giant yard sale of the items you have bought throughout the years that weren't necessary. Things you haven't seen for a year should go in the sale. Price them to go quick, regardless of what you paid for them, then use the money you made to take the whole family out to dinner. YOu will feel very liberated by getting rid of all of the extras in your house. Once your clutter is clean you can clear your mind and think straight enough to get your bills cleaned up.

Answer 3

the only consistent additional costs in your budget should be food - set up a budget based on what you;ve BEEN spending - it's not like the kids appeared out of nowhere yesterday - you have to know how much you;ve been spending on food, utilities, entertainment, eating out (the last two are the first that should be reduced if money is tight) - like you said self control is the only way to correct over spending - either that or tazer gun yourself every time you waste money - maybe then you'll learn control

Answer 4

i have been known to cut up my debit cards as well.  I gotto the bank and spend only what I have.  It forces you to plan ahead for those holiday closings  but i would imagine with 3 kids you need a card for emergencies.

  

From what i've heard your always broke when you have children.  I would say just establish a strict budget and STICK WITH IT.  Eliminate all un neccesities.  Accept the fact that you cant live out your own means.  What you see other people with or spending does not include you.  Eliminate all debt and increase income whenever possible.