How do you manage your life with a newborn and a 2 year old?

Question

Im 12 weeks pregnant with my second child and i already have a twenty months old boy..Im so nervous about keeping a toddler and caring a new born at the same time..I dont have anyone to help..I dont have any idea about how to cope with this..Are there anyone who experienced the same..How was your first few days with your new born and your toddler..Did he undestand about his/her sibling and was attached??and how did you keep his routines??How did you manage to feed the newborn every 2 hours and take care of your kid??

Thank you very much

Answer 1

I'm doing this right now - I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and a 7 week old son.  The only advice  I can give you is 'sit back, hold on tight,  and enjoy the ride'!  

Interesting times - my daughter is OK most of the time and even helps out on occasion, though it's fair to say the kids live alongside each other rather than have any real interaction.  She has regressed a little and she wants to wear nappies again when she was more or less potty trained.  She also wants to be babied a bit more which is sometimes frustrating but manageable.  

The only  real bone of contention is her jealousy over my husband's time and attention.  She hates him holding the baby and throws a tantrum when she sees this happening.  It's getting less severe now as she's put on the naughty step when this happens, but it still poses a challenge when we're trying to get ready to go somewhere.  A few things that helped generally were:

Having your partner available at home as much as possible for the first 6 weeks - it is harder with two

Involve your older one as much as possible - have them get the baby nappies in the supermarket, let them pick the baby's outfit and let them play with the baby - dangling toys in front of it etc.

Buy your older one some things to occupy him her - they enjoy crafts now so paint, glitter, glue etc. tend to engage them for longer than some other things.  

Pick your battles - if they want to wear a red polka dot dress with a yellow cardigan and pink wellies, let them.  Sometimes the battle isn't worth the outcome you want.

Talk to your child about breastfeeding - my 2 year old is usually quite happy to let me feed the baby, though try to anticipate some of her needs in advance.  BF can take a long time so have a snack and drink and a few toys ready for her to play with so you don't get interrupted too much.

Finally, if you're still reading this - take them out to the park a lot.  The little one can sleep while the older one can run round and expend that excess energy.

Good luck - and always remember that the first 6 weeks are not how it will be for the rest of your life - though it feels like it sometimes!

Answer 2

Hi I'm in the same boat now i have a 2yr old and a 7wk old from my experience she was jealous for the first 2 wks and i found it hard because she took a step back when she wanted something she would whinge or cry like a new born but because she saw him crying and he would get something she thought the same! the best thing you can do is to try and involve them in as much as possible like fetching a nappy or wet wipes letting them hold the baby with you

then maybe passing the baby to dad when there home from work and taking them to the park so the get just mummy time!

It is hard but it wont last forever  

Answer 3

it's just a case of juggling your routine a bit,you will soon get into it.don't stress about it,it will seem to be worse every time you think about it,get the son a teddy to put a nappy on when your changing the baby just get him involved and it will all fall into place,good luck and congratulations.

Answer 4

lol, I have an 11 yr old, 9, 4, almost 2 and an 8month old.   Its hard at first.  But make a game plan and prepare for it.  say you want to go shopping the next day.  pack the diaper bags get clothes ready the night before.  have lil things on hand to keep the lil ones busy.   My sister tries to schedule each and every min of the day, and ends up in near tears when nothing works out.  I stick to if it happens in the next three days I'm good.  lol.  

As for Sib's adjusting, each child is different.  some can get highly jealous, some welcome the new bundle with open arms.  If you suspect you lil one might be the jealous type, start early b4 baby gets here.   But a 2 year old might just nod and forget.  when baby arrives, just keep a watchful eye at all times.  I cant tell you how many times one of the lil ones got "extra loving" from one of the older Sib's all in good intentions.     As for routines, its still up to you on if they keep it or not.  They may balk, but you are the parent.  It'll be far easier on you in the long run if you don't let it slide.  As you baby gets older, you can coordinate their naps, and finally get some peace!!!  I have all three of my youngest runts napping now at 3pm-4pm.  Its the only time in my day that I get a darn thing done with out any mishaps.  But more often than not, Im napping too  :)

Answer 5

i have a 2 yr old and a 1 month old. yes it can be hard at times as the toddler can get a bit jealous, but u need to get them involved. u can get them to get a nappy, talk to the baby, sing to the baby etc. you just need to deal with it one day at a time. goodluck.

Answer 6

Ive been wondering this too.

My daughter is 13 months and im 11 weeks and 3 days pregnant!

Ive spoke to my midwife and she just said to involve my daughter as much as possible.

Simple things just like getting a nappy, a toy anything really.

Good luck with this and hope it all works out ok.