How do you move on from being separated from a child you love?

Question

There is a little girl I have been babysitting for half the weekend every weekend for a year and suddenly a few weeks ago they told me they weren't going to be needing me anymore because the girl's grandma is going to be staying with them now. I asked if I could still visit her sometimes and the mom basically said no, that it was time to have some separation between their personal life and their daughter's daycare life (I work at her daycare).

I miss her very, very much. I've practically been her third parent since she was a baby (she's two now) and we're very attached to each other. I think the mom may have felt threatened by how close we are, which I understand and respect, but how do I move on now that she's not in my life so much?

I know she misses me too, because she asks for me all the time at work and clings to me and cries when she sees me.

I understand their need for separation, but how do I deal with this loss? She is very special to me and I really miss her.

Answer 1

Its probably best for everyone that you get some distance between yourself and the girl. At least you see her a little bit and know she is well taken care of.

Time will go by and you will feel better about the separation. I had the same feelings when my sister had to go in the hospital and I took care of her baby daughter. I felt like part of me was gone when my niece went back with her mom.

Get involved with something that interests you and is emotionally rewarding.

Answer 2

It's gonna take time... really that's all. If you still get to see her at work (at the daycare) GREAT! She's not totally out of your life!

But yes, she does need to move on too. You're not a family member, nor her mom... and she needs to form that same attachment she had with you with her grandma! It's a good thing! You did what you needed to do... loved the child and cared for her. Now it's time to move on to your next project. Get another babysitting job. Or maybe get a new hobby, such as being a mentor for an older child that could REALLY use a big sister or such. In a mentoring position, you can be part of that person's life for a VERY long time... and it will really be worth something in the long run for the both of you!

Good job dear... it's easy to get attached to something that has been a part of your life for so long.. let alone having that "something" be sooo cute!

Get your mind on something else, or when you do think of the her, send a little prayer up to God asking Him for protection over his little one. It can't hurt! :)

Answer 3

i can tell you one thing. it will be very hard. when i moved to Ohio away from my little sister. it hurt like crazy. i call her as much as i can.

i am sorry about that. maybe you should tell the mom how you fell about the little girl and tell her that if her mother needs help with the baby that you are just a phone call away. and you will not charge

i somewhat understand her point. but if i was the mother and my little girl loved you this much as that little girl. i would mind the help once in a blue moon.

Answer 4

i think it was in the moms best interests to help her daughter grow up and overcome being dependent on you. as long as she still has you in the day care and the parents at home..she will be fine! she will get used to it slowly and it would best for the both of you

Answer 5

I'm so sorry. But a separation like that only makes you a stronger person. Trying to make yourself move on to something else is only tricking your mind. Eventually, your work, friends, family should not take her place, but take up the time you think about it. It's a long process of the mind, but the outcome is usually something much more.