How do you nicely encourage someone to lose weight?

Question

My boyfriends mom, Kim, is amazing. She's almost fifty and her cholesterol level is so high her doctor told her she could die of a heart attack at any given moment. When my boyfriend, Matt, and I heard this news we did everything we could to encourage her to eat healthier as well as get more involved with our local gym.

We even helped her plan out her meals, and offered to do her diet with her. Matt constantly begs her to play tennis just for the sake of working out. However it seems like our talks with her (which includes how much we loved her, and want her in our life, and how crucial it is for for her to eat healthier) are not working! She doesn't like it when people nag her on what to eat, because she just gets depressed. But it seems like she's not trying at all. For her, there's always a reason to go out and celebrate, which takes her off track of the diet plan.

We want to encourage her without stressing her out, or making her feel bad in anyway. Now Matt's thinking of talking to her and telling her something amongst the lines of, "that if she died, he would feel like he didn't try hard enough to help her lose weight.."

any advice?

Answer 1

Invite her over for dinner, and make sure it's delicious and healthy.

Include whole wheat pasta with vegetable sauce, spinach salad with either no or low-fat dressing, green tea for a drink, and water.

Make sure there are platters of fruit.

You want her to think "This is the best dinner I've ever had!" so she'll ask you for the recipe and she can start making healthier dinners.

For dessert, have some sort of healthy sorbet, that again, will make her want to have more at a later time, and full enough so she won't go home and eat a box of donuts.

Do this on a regular basis.

Also, make exercising seem fun - join a pilates/yoga class, ballroom dancing, spinning, or any sort of class.

Ask her to go on a bike ride with you, or to go on a walk around the neighborhood.

Little things add up.

But don't tell her she needs to lose weight - that'll make her upset.

Do these things discreetly and stop trying to but in so much; because SHE has to want to change.

You can do these things to help encourage it, but she's the only one who can decide.

And give her cheerios for cholesterol.

Answer 2

I understand you don't want her to die young, but it is a touchy subject.  You can't tell people to lose weight.  It offends them and will makes them depressed.  Depressed people eat.  She needs to want to do it, you can't make her.  It's no different than telling an alcoholic to stop drinking..they have to want to.

Answer 3

Charles L is right .. she's an adult and she was there with you and the doctor. I love my sister however she is overweight and on meds although she doesn't taken them, nicely I provide her with information to lose weight however she see's it as butting in on her life and I no longer bring it up. Take Charles L advice as I have just lover her for who she is, excess weight and all.

Answer 4

Hmm, self-motivation is the key.

I've been through a dieting experience, except mine is more for selfish reasons. I was shunned by a girl who I really liked, so I told myself that I wanted a 6 pack so I ran 2-4 miles and lifted for 1 hour every day, and I ate only foods that I found healthy. Note that I was already quite athletically built.

But try talking to her philosophically and do it everyday. What is the point of eating junk food? What is the purpose of life?

Also, torment her psychologically. Stick junk food out right in front of her and tell her the nutrition facts. Tell her what is going to happen if she eats it.

Answer 5

you should say omg i went on a huge run and i feel so good you should come with me  sometimes

Answer 6

You can't they have to want to do it on their own.

If the mother dies or has a stroke it will be her own doing and no one should blame themselves.

Answer 7

well you should try to explain how good working out makes you feel and look. and same with eating healthier. just explain the benefits of regular exercise (like lowering her cholesterol level)...if she does lose weight buy her something instead of going out to eat to celebrate cuz thats not smart lol.

uhm, well you should get your boyfriend to tell his mom how much he cares about her, and that he wants to see her live longer. that should help because she'll remember how much she loves her son.

Answer 8

The Dr. put me on a cholesterol lowering RX when mine was high. Why doesn't her Dr. Possibly her blood pressure is also high. There are meds for that too. Invite her to go with you both on walks and other outings to get her out of house.

Answer 9

The answer to your question: "You don't."  She knows she needs to lose weight.  That will only insult her, and likely cause her to binge via depression.  Her self esteem is already rock-bottom because of what you have already done.  Nobody can make anyone lose weight, except themselves.   Sad to say, but it's true.  Just love her for who she is, excess weight and all.