How do you not care what others think and have a strong mind, to know the strength of your convictions ?

Question

i feel helplessley governed alot of times by how people treat me, behave towards me, the perception they have of me , if they reject me , their opinion of me etc.

it always seems to override my own thoughts feelings and perceptions, and i go away and worry severely.

the other day i got really angry at the thought of people perceiving me as ' white ' or just english - when im white hispanic.

and in the fact when summer is here, i go very tanned and olive skinned, but i have very deep blue eyes, so theres been times where i have been percieved as mixed race from certain people.

this gets me angry and then i seem to lose focus, the fact others will have a perception of me thats not the correct perception and theres nothing i can do about it.

no one wants to be falsley classified.

and all my life virtually i seemed to have been at the mercy of others judgements and perceptions of me..

what they think, what they say about me, crumble or get angry if others hold a negative view of me.

feel angry and sensitive if i percieve im rejected or being rejected.

just to say ive had a really hard life, suffered tremendously, suffered intense bullying, my self esteem was stolen from me, ive missed out on a happy life, on achieving anything....never been employed or gained qualifications.....never formed any relationships.

my status is, i live alone in a one bedroom apartment on disability - i have BPD and ptsd , im presentley waiting to hear if ill get group therapy.

im very insecure in general, i own nothing except an old computer, worry about others perceptions of me, get easily hurt by what others do or say, get angry..

i got angry before because i looked out of my window, and some woman was wiping her eyes as she was walking past my apartment, like she had something in her eye..

and i perceieved she was doing it because she knows my lifes hopeless, or that she somehow knows im outcasted from society , and that ' she felt sorry for me '.

just because she was wiping her eyes as she was walking past.

this made me feel angry, i know its stupid, but this is an example how ive always been.

how can i finally be free of all this and be strong minded and only care what i think ?

Answer 1

i love you...no really, i sincerely love you as a person.  

Answer 2

just remember that you cant win them all. and theese people should neither make or break you.

and remember that the people that matter wont mind and the people that mind dont matter.

and also, never give people a reason to not like you, ie, never be mean to anyone. then you will be sure that they just have something up their butt. sideways. and its nothing you've said or done.

good luck [:

Answer 3

What others think about me...........?

is NONE of MY business..

it's that simple

Answer 4

Experience. Mix them with logic and your own personal philosophy. When you're pushed to the edge of misery when you're at the same time allowing people to control your mind, it's easier to turn it around than you think. Especially after many years.

Answer 5

I have a relative who sounds like you. He has the same issues. He found a church near his home and made some friends there. He got interested in old movies and roller skating. He takes medication for anxiety. You are very sensitive. Maybe you should write your feelings down and take them to your doctor. I wish the best for you.

Answer 6

I have the same thing to, like today i dint went to school cause I was shy and it was my second day of school and  is really hard and what others say that you shouldint be like this is cause they havent went throught this and aint easy just to get rid of this.

Answer 7

Read this carefully!

There are people who are made to work as slaves in some third world countries from the time they are 4 years old till the time they die.

They get paid nothing and are given one meal a day.

If they fall sick, they are allowed to get better without medication, if they don't get better they are shot and their body is dumped in an unmarked grave.

They have no hope and no future.

YOU ARE BETTER OFF THAN THEM.

You live in a free country and you are a free citizen who can chose to do whatever he wants with his life.

You may not have received an education yet but you still can in any area that interests you.

Find something that you would like to take up as a career and pursue it, you can do it if you want to!

Forget what happened in that past, it was painful but you cant change it, but you can change the course of your life from now on, its in your hands.

It wont be easy but nothing in life is!

So get up and go out there and live your dreams, you can do it!

Best of luck!

Answer 8

I suggest you read the book A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.  It talks a lot about the kinds of questions you are asking and is very enlightening.  Below is a link with some information on the book and the author.

Answer 9

just my 2 cents...but being alone makes you paranoid about who you are...

you have to do what you can to get out as much as possible. It'll help.

As far as only being concerned with what you think, do you really want that? I mean the people I know who are only concerned about their own opinions are...aholes. You should really think about that...