How do you (or do you) reward your child(ren) for a job well done - excellence?

Question

How do you (or do you) reward your child(ren) for a job well done - excellence?

Answer 1

Allowances! My oldest (9) earns 10 dollars a week (paid biweekly) for doing all of her school work and chores and helping me with other things needing to be done. My middle (5)  earns 5 dollars a week for doing the same things (he does a lot less school work and chores). They have to put 1/2 into a savings account (teaching them to save) and the other 1/2 is for them to spend. The youngest (22 months) doesn't get anything but love and kisses right now but not much is expected of her yet.

Answer 2

I give him a great big hug and tell him what a wonderful job he's done; I make sure that he knows how proud I am of him, both for who he is and for the good choices/responsibility he's shown.

For things like a championship game, or the last performance of a play, we'll go out for ice cream to his favorite place.

These do it for him!  He has a job that pays him monthly, and his Scout fundraisers pay for everything he'd need there, so we're pretty hands off with the money.  He loves the praise, though!

Answer 3

For the young ones stickers are great, for the older ones special stay up late nights or going out for ice cream or a movie rental of their choice. Sometimes more responsibility, for example excellence in doing something involving responsibility and I'll give them fun responsibility like money to buy clothes on their own. Sometimes just a day off from schoolwork.

Answer 4

Either take them out to a place of their choice or just give an allowance.

Answer 5

Well, if they have a project they are working on and are pleased with their results (during or after), I would congratulate them and be happy for them.  

If they do something I asked to help me, I thank them and tell them how much I appreciated it.  

I try to avoid feelings of pride (it is one of the seven deadly sins, after all)  and so I never tell my children I feel that way.  

I also don't give assignments, so anything they do accomplish is of their own volition, it's only mine to admire.  Like if they share with me something they've written, if I will tell them how much I enjoyed it, or whatever positive comment that I honestly feel.  

Hope that answers the question :D

Answer 6

My kid never responded to the sticker charts that the other moms suggested to me years ago. Some kids love it, but mine didn't, and over time I think I've learned to do it better.

I like to focus on how her success makes HER feel. I might say, "You did it! You must feel good", or "That was a lot of work - you must be proud that you stuck to it". Her own pride in her accomplishments is what I think leads to future success.

I don't want her to just try to please me, because I think in the future that will be a detriment. I certainly don't want her to become an adult who only wants to please others, and depends on that praise for her own self-esteem.

She should learn to make decisions based on the effect it has on her - and excellence always feels good. Others' opinions are a nice reinforcement - I do tell her that I feel proud, too - but that should be secondary to her own pride in her good work.

In terms of traditional rewards, sometimes she will ask for something special, such as her own cooking utensils after helping me in the kitchen. I think this is appropriate, because she has shown that she will do the work, has done her best, and is excited to continue. I'm all for helping that along. In other words, I think the reward should be a natural outcome of the behavior, not a bribe in reverse.

Have you thought of asking your child(ren) what they think? They probably have some great ideas.

Answer 7

Praise is important any time they do well.  For special accomplishments we celebrate with something they really want or enjoy, like a special trip.  Monetary rewards seem to cheapen the accomplishment, so we focus more on family time doing something special.

Answer 8

I tell her she did great and I'm proud of her. Hugs are given out liberally. She used to give stickers, but she's getting a bit old for that now.