How do you politely tell someone they need to lose weight?

Question

If someone hadn't told me I was starting to get a little gooey, I would not have done anything about it. What is a good way to tell someone they need to do something about their weight? without saying "Hey your kinda fat, lose some weight"

Answer 1

Most people know when they've put on a little weight, so the other suggestion you got about going to the gym or something would be much better than telling them they're getting fat. Maybe make it about YOU instead of them and hopefully they'll go along with you.

Answer 2

Extremely dicey!!

from co worker to family member this is a sensative subject..

After sitting here for a minute or so.. thinking about what to adivse you..   I say.... keep your mouth shut.. there's no tactful way to say it.

Answer 3

hey im worried for you. or if u dont want them to feel bad suggest them doing stuff with u without saying they r heavy say like hey u wanna go to the gym on tuesday or on friday do u wanna go on a jog.

Answer 4

Frame it so that it's come across as you are concerned about their health and well being. Being lazy is not healthy for anyone. It can lead to depression. I think so anyway. I'm not sure if that is correct.

I care about you and I notice that you have put on some weight and you aren't as active as you used to be. Are you feeling ok?  

Answer 5

Do you believe they don't know? Why do you think it's your job?

What you can say is that you had a problem & what you did.

Answer 6

I don't think that there is a polite way to tell someone that they need to lose weight. If you have to tell them that, they probably know that they need to lose weight, and you mentioning it will only make them feel worse.  

Answer 7

maybe be like. _________(persons name) i've noticed that you've got a little heavy recently and i dont mean it to be harsh or anything but im doing this because i love you. _________ (again.. name) i think you shld try to eat less, cut back and exercise so you can be healthy and not have any risks of dying or anything else. i dont want you to be offended. im doing this because i love you. we can get through it

Answer 8

you could say " Did you gain weight?" and that question alone should give them a hint.

Answer 9

Odds are good they already know it.  It's none of your business, so don't mention it.  

Answer 10

don't directly tell them. you could ask them if they wanted to go to the gym with you or go swimming or something like that.try and help them loose weight.

Answer 11

I wouldn't say anything.

If they are getting a little "gooey" i'm sure they know.

But maybe, say something like "Have you gain weight..?"

well actually just don't say anything. xD

Answer 12

Your really pretty, but I bet you'd look better with a little weight off of you

or...

I think that if you lost weight (the guy) would probly like you more!!!

the best one....

Your not fat, its just that your not in good shape

You should work out so you can be happier with your body=]

Answer 13

the same way you politely tell someone to mind their own business.

Answer 14

A person's weight is a very sensitive and personal matter.  In most situations you cannot say anything without offending.

If you know the person very well and I mean very well then you might try saying:

[person's name] please know that I care about your well being very much but I'm very concerned about your health.  May I talk about it?"

Chances are they know exactly what you're referring to.   But still they may be very sensitive or may be very touched that you care.

I would only bring this up if I were very confident that the person would not be seriously offended.

I used to know this elderly couple.  She was terribly over weight.  It was only after getting to know her for about 5 years that I finally felt comfortable enough to bring the subject up.  And I approached it from the diabetes angle.  She was getting to the point that her feet could barely support her.  

I'm glad I talked to her.  She took my suggestions well but didn't follow up on the activities I suggested.  

Unfortunately, she passed away several months later of heart failure.

It's a sensitive topic, tread carefully.

Addendum:

I have a problem reading your additional comments.  On the one hand you are asking how to sensitively tell someone they need to lose weight. And yet your additional comments suggest you are very judgmental and intolerant of people who are obese.  It sounds like you are more concerned about your own social comfort level than the well being of the obese person.

It also sounds like you are saying that just because you were able to lose weight after someone told you then every other obese person should be able to.

Do you know that some people are genetically predisposed to weight gain?   Others suffer from thyroid issues.  Not all obese people are fat and lazy.  Some are actually pro football players who are far more fit and active than you are.

I applaud you for succeeding in losing weight but don't paint everyone with the same brush.  Our world needs less bigotry and more tolerance.

Answer 15

It's not really your business or place to tell someone they need to lose weight.  Chances are, you won't be telling them anything they don't already know.

Answer 16

"i like you, i hope we could hang out one day" (birds of the same feathers flock together)

Answer 17

I'm assuming this is someone you care about or else you should just myob.

You could invite them to exercise with you or perhaps tell them about changes you've made to better your own health.

Answer 18

If your close enough (as in a good friendship/family member not proximity) to the person to be able to comment on their weight then 'Hey your kinda fat, lose some weight' isn't that bad. As long as they are not a really sensitive person. But you have to be a REALLY close friend/family member to mention weight because skinny or fat it's a sensitive subject. So if your not that don't say anything, chances are the people closer to this person are telling them  

Answer 19

Well if the person is your friend, and that seems to be the type of friends you prefer to hang with, there really is no polite about it, dear.  Just lay it on the line and say, "Hey, I really like you, but I don't hang out with fat and lazy people, so you need to cut some weight, or you're going to be cut from my roster of friends," and leave it at that.  

There's no excuse for manners among friends.

Answer 20

Unless you are this person's physician, it really isn't your place to say. I'm sure he/she already knows and will do something about it when/if he chooses.  

Answer 21

Contrary to what you believe, it's NOT your business. You might care that people are fat/lazy but that doesn't mean it's your business, it just means that you don't like their appearance. You even say yourself that you don't hang out with fat and lazy people but you certainly spend a lot of time worrying about them, you even post it on yahoo answers .... If those people don't pay your bills, are not your spouse, bf, or do anything significant in your life then you should just stop criticizing someone else's business.

So there is no way to politely ask that, duh. Unless you were a doctor talking to them about their health or someone that they completely feel comfortable talking with ... it's gonna be rude. So use your brain and don't ask stupid questions on yahoo.

Answer 22

Here is some ways..

- Start talking about disease related to being overweight.

- Take the emotional route; "I love you, and I couldn't stand to lose you, please come with me on a journey together in losing weight and gaining life, I love you"

- Take the direct route and use shocking words "You are obese, you need to lose weight or you are going to DIE!!"

- The anonymous route; dropping off weight loss plans to them.

- The Money route; Buy them a gym membership and tell them "You better use it"

- Offer rewards for lost pounds; such as hiring them a gigolo or call-girl as a reward for losing the weight.

Answer 23

Is not your job to tell them to lose weight. If you do they will be offended to your comment. Maybe they like to be fat and enjoy to eat there food. Is up to them if they want to lose weight. If you jump in and they will re-bell against you all the way and spit you to eat more. My kids told me i was fat and didn't do any thing about it and was in denial and my ex-husband walked into a poll than i decided to lose weight for myself. They have to do it for them selfs not to please you or any one else.

Answer 24

I don't really think there is a nice way to put it.  You can say it, but it's really not your place to tell someone about it.  They know if they are out of shape or not.  If it's dangerous for their health (diabetes, obesity), I'm sure their doctor will give them the information they need that they are going in the wrong direction.

Add'l note:  Wow Michael L, with that attitude you probably don't have many people in your life that's close...  You're a bit harsh.

Answer 25

it ain't none of your business!!!

btw, do you honestly believe he/she doesn't know this already?!

and even if he/she doesn't, then let them enjoy themselves as they are and keep your big mouth shut! not everybody likes to be skinny nor see skinny people!

if that person is happy with her body and her looks as it is, why would you want to influence her to change? so you'd like her?! that's selfish!!!

and changing yourself just because someone told you you should, and not because you actually were unhappy with gaining weight, as you say you did, is probably one of the stupidest things i've ever heard!!!

what's more important to you man, what someone else thinks, or what YOU think???

changing your lifestyle to change your image is only worth it if you're doing it for yourself, yourself and no one else!!! and if you can't tell the difference, you should really sit down and think about your life homme, cause weight may not be the only thing you let others decide about instead of you!!!

do you realy want to waste your life trying to accomodate others? i sure as h**l know i don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 26

You can't. Not to mention it's none of your business. My mother used to start her conversations, "I'm not criticizing you, BUT you need to lose weight"

Did her holier than thou criticism work? NO. A person only loses weight when [s]he gets to a point in life where [s]he WANTS to lose weight. Period. You hounding someone will make that person eat more out of feeling depressed by your comments. If you've EVER been heavy, then you know the snide comments and snickering that goes on, when others think you can't hear.

I am no longer heavy, but that was a choice I made because of ME... not because of some blah, blah, blah, I'm-better-than-you kind of comments. Just leave that person alone.