How do you prevent or at least minimize sexual harassment or advances in a massage or spa setting?

Question

In a spa or massage setting where lights are dim, sounds are relaxing and the ambiance is soothing. How do you prevent or at least minimize sexual harassment or advances in a spa, massage clinic or wellness center?

Answer 1

PREVENTING/AVOIDING SEXUAL ADVANCES DURING A SPA OR MASSAGE SESSION

“50 WAYS OF HANDLING CLIENT ADVANCES”

This article/report is not an all encompassing, everything-in-it method of preventing or avoiding sexual advances in a spa or massage session. The methods and ways described herein are intended to at least minimize, if not totally eradicate a common malaise of our industry, having to deal with “sexually charged” clients. Like anything else in life, there are no guarantees and the practitioner is cautioned to use their own judgment about their individual circumstances and act professionally and accordingly. Trusting one’s guts and intuition may prove life-saving in some cases. As in all my writings, it is presented in a contemporary style to address mainly the practitioners and spa, massage clinic and wellness center owners or operators and a minority of the inquiring public.

Let me be clear that there is no one way to totally avoid sexual advances or offers of such. Massage is by nature an intimate and pleasurable experience but is not intended to sexually gratify a person. Some spa and massage therapies require the client to be semi-nude and sometimes naked. Even in the most professional setting the massage/ spa professional is exposed to being vulnerable to temptations which might lead to awkward situations. We can combine several of the pointers mentioned and act with due diligence. Practitioners in the spa, massage and wellness industry should perform their tasks that only true and unadulterated professionals do.

Recently, I have been asked again a truly valid question, one relating to handling clients who are taking advantage of their practitioner (whether this is a spa or massage therapist). There are some ways of handling this, but let us first take into account what one validates (on a professional perspective) as “taking advantage or inappropriateness” means. Ano ba talaga ang maco-consider nating inappropriate? These are some examples (and by far, not a complete one) of inappropriate behaviors:

1. When approached or asked by a client requesting any sexual contact of any kind

2. When a client is trying to touch the practitioner or the client asks to be touched in private areas including but is not limited to the genitalia.

3. Asking the practitioner to do something sexual apart from profession massage/spa therapy.

4. Making direct and/or indirect movements and comments that make it uneasy for the practitioner to work professionally and proceed with the session.

How do you, as a professional, handle these types of clients? These are just some tips and pointers in handling these types of clients, how to prevent sexual harassment during a session, setting boundaries, how to free your self from being perceived as a prostitute instead of a spa or massage professional and more. I said some as you can adjust the pointers listed here depending on your specific condition. I am aware that there might be many questions and a combination of answers out there and we are at our liberty to implement these pointers as befits us:

1. Most of the time, simple statements like “I cannot perform more than just massage or professional therapy because I love my job” or “The only extra service we provide is a smile and a hot cup of ginger tea (called Salabat in the Philippines) or rice tea, which would you prefer?” or “if you cannot respect me in this way, I would be forced to terminate the session and you will be charged in full sir/ma’am _______ (the client’s name).” Always address them with sir or ma’am, so even in addressing clients you have already set your boundaries. Never call them just by their first name or nick name.

2. Your establishment should have a clear and strict work ethics and guidelines which are implemented not just written- but most importantly these ethical guidelines should be implemented all throughout the rank and file including management. No exceptions. An example of this rules and regulations: sexual advances towards clients by any employee will not be tolerated. Immediate termination of employees will follow any complaint that is investigated and where legitimacy of the claim is determined.”

3. In cases that you cannot control or your safety is being compromised, you can end the session immediately and ask the client to dress up and pay for the session and then to leave the premises. Therapists should also leave the area or room and should not return until the client has departed the premises. The client’s name should be entered into the prohibited client database to prevent any subsequent appointments being made by the client.

4. Move out of the room and let them cool off for the meantime.

5. Any sexual contact and indulgences between a client and a staff is equivalent to being fired on the job.

6. Create an environment that is conducive to a healthy, relaxing and satisfying experience for the client. Examples: do not display or post nude and sexually explicit photos, displays, etc. inside your spa, massage clinic or wellness center; if your spa has a video or movie lounge do not include videos that are rated X.

7. Never ever include any sexually appealing advertisements for your establishment. I have seen ads that goes something like “young, pretty, s**y, discrete masseuse for hire”, “presentable, class A, awesome beauty, flawless, 24-hours service available for stag party”. Words such as s**y, hot, macho, meztisa, irresistible, heartthrob, etc. should not be used at all costs. Hay naku, ang ipinagtataka ko lang, why is it important to be s**y and with awesome beauty? Is it not enough to be decent, clean looking and professional? So, if you want to be taken seriously in your practice, never ever- and I say it again, never advertise like those mentioned above.

8. It should be stipulated in the employee’s manual that therapists are not allowed to date or to have any other external physical relationships with any client while that person is a client of your respective spa, massage clinic or establishment until after a period of six months since the client received the last service.

9. The room should never be too darkly lit. To be technical about it, under Philippine laws, in PD 856 Chapter XII Section 5.4.1 states a room shall be provided with illumination to permit effective inspection and cleaning in accordance with the DOH (Department of Health) general illumination standards. The massage room shall be provided with a minimum of 10 foot-candle or kilowatts (107.6 lux)  have a minimum while a sauna bath room should be provided a minimum of 5 foot-candle or kilowatts (53.8 lux) illumination. In 5.4.2. All lightings shall be reasonably free from glare and distributed so as to avoid shadows. But if you will ask me, I would prefer lighting which can be adjusted so when doing massage or spa therapies it will not have too much glare and when cleaning the room one can have enough illumination.

10. It is also the responsibility of the practitioner to communicate clearly with the client allowing the client to be at ease and know that they are professionally (not sexually) handled.

11. During a massage, the practitioner should minimize, if not refrain from making direct contact with “stimulating spots” like the inner thighs, groins, nipples, etc.

12. No touching of private areas and genitalia.

13. An experienced massage therapist should be able to guide the recipient through the massage or spa process so that there will be little confusion about some of the basic areas that may cause embarrassment or confusion. Like, if there are client concerns regarding a body scrub or body treatment, explaining to the client that he/she will get undressed, get the armpits and butt rubbed, etc. will make the client prepare psychologically on the procedure.

14. Presence of mind on where the practitioner rests their hands while the other hand might be working. Example, if your right hand is doing a massage your left hand should be assisting the movements of your right hand and should never rest in any private area of the recipient or client. Hindi dapat nakadantay sa maselang bahagi o kahit sa malapit sa maselang bahagi ng katawan ng client ang kamay ng isang therapist.

15. The amount of clothing worn during a session is dependent on the type of treatment or therapy to be administered. Therefore, do not expect that you will be asked to take all your clothes off if you choose Thai massage or Shiatsu. Normally these massage modalities are performed with the client’s clothes on. It is also common to be completely undressed during a Swedish massage BUT don’t despair, as your therapist will professionally drape areas which are not being worked on. The bottom line is that, the client should be able to wear what makes them comfortable but not to the point of distracting the therapist’s work or disregarding the policies on clothing (if there are any) of the spa, massage clinic or wellness center.

16. Shorts can be provided by the spa to all clients and can be worn during the session.

17. The therapist should also instruct the client about what to expect before they begin to undress.

18. The therapist should leave the room when the client will be undressing and return afterwards. Generally, no less than 5 minutes and knock before entering. The practitioner should also say something like “Ma’am/Sir ______ (name of client) are you ready?” before opening the door.

19. To quote again PD 856 Chapter XIII Section 5.8.2 a massage room shall be provided with sliding curtain or wing type wooden door or equivalent materials at the entrance. Doors with locks are not permitted. If you will ask me, my personal favorites are the sliding doors or the accordion type doors.

20. The therapist should instruct the client to position himself/herself under a sheet or towel during the massage session.

21. The therapist should work on a cli

Answer 2

You have advertising that says you do Therapeutic Sessions.  There will always be a male that thinks in different directions even if you have emphasized that there is no sexual situations.

You do not put up with any Sexual Harrassment of any kind. Begin the session and if the client gets funny, you tell him to leave and that he will not get his money back.  Word of mouth gets you the best results.

Also I had one client that after the Reiki session said that he had some sexual issues.. I told him.. Sorry I can't help you with that, go see your doctor in case there are other health problems related.

Answer 3

I'm a massage therapist and have never had a problem. If you present yourself professionally you should be fine.

Answer 4

The key is in creating boundaries in the form of policies and procedures that support you and your work.

If you are just talking about a guy getting an erection - it is quite common and you need to know the difference of when it is just normal and when they are trying to take it to the next level.

Getting regular supervision sessions can also help you keep clear about your role and intentions in a session.  If you are worried about it, you might already have something unconscious going on around this issue - it is sort of if you think it can happen -it will.

I have been doing massage for 20 years and have never thought much about it or had any bad experiences.

Answer 5

Simple.

Have everyone wear wetsuits, showercaps and teeth braces.

If that fails, employ Dame Edna Everage and Rosanne Barr as hostesses..