How do you punish your children?

Question

Please only answer if you have kids 2-10 years. Thanks. But what works for your children? Spankings? Time-outs? Reward Charts? Taking away things/priviedges?

For us, mostly timeouts, reward charts and taking things away works for us. And, I will say, I am against spanking, but that is not what I am asking, and please don't stray from the question and talk about spanking. =D

So, what 'works' for your kids?

Thanks!

~Kate ♥

Answer 1

The back of my hand seems to work wonders...

Answer 2

ok well im pregnant with my 2nd child. my son is now 5 and will be 6 in sep. But my sister (i am very close too) has 2 boys 7 and my brother ( again very close to him as well) has 2 boys 8 months and 6 yrs and a daughter that is 2 yrs. Ok i said alllll that to say between my brother and sister and I we have plenty of children. now as far as discipline goes in our houses it is different for each child BECAUSE each child is different !!! but i will tell you one very very very important thing that is the same with EVERY child and that is being consistent and falling throw. you have to do both or nothing you do will matter to them. ok now about time-out, or spanking. YES i do spank  when it is necessary because with my son timeout doesn’t work and spanking does he knows now when momma or daddy tell him to do or not to do something then that is was needs to be done and same for my bro and sis, they do the same things with there kids. you just really need to find out what worked best and to keep in your mind that it is YOUR responsibility to teach your children what is right and wrong and that there will be consequences . i also think bas children is a reflection of the parents and i know my mom always told us that we were to respect older people and to ALWAYS be on our best behaviors so good luck and stick to you guns and do what is necessary to have a great family and good kids. one more thing please don’t let those people out there mess with your head about spanking, people have been spanking kids since the beginning of time and it is perfectly ok for a parent to do so. ( now if the parent is crazy and could passably beat there child then NO) i would not recommend it but for normal parents do what you need to do.

Answer 3

With my daughter, the only thing that works is a time out, or taking something away if she disobeys us.

For a while we'd try the spank on the bum or hand, or if she lipped off, a tap on the cheek.  But after a while, we'd spank her and she'd just say "That didnt hurt". So whats the point?

If she doesnt listen (aftre we've told her 3 times) we tell her since she didnt listen, she doesnt get to go swimming today, or doesnt get to play with her friend.

They have to learn if they're naughty, it wont be tollerated.

Answer 4

I am against physical punishment as well. I would say my 5 year old son is very well behaved and well mannered. What my husband and I do no yelling, we don't really get mad with him, more disappointed. we first tell him what he has done wrong and why it is wrong. he then has to repeat what we have told him in his own words to make sure he understands what is going on. if he does it again then i ask him to sit on the thinking chair away form activities until he can tell mommy what he did and why it was wrong. i then give him options of a punishment and he gets to choose. we tell him that the punishment has to fit the crime. basically choose a punishment based on how wrong what he did was. he usually chooses very good example would be maybe if he was asked to clean up his toys and didn't his choices would be bed early, no time on his bike for the day or he can't play with those toys until the next day but still has to clean them up. this method teaches them that there are consequences to thier actions and they can start making choices for themselves. it really works.

Answer 5

My daughter is 3 1/2. Time-outs work for us. We also use positive reinforcement, which also really works well for us. She is pretty well tempered so we don't usually have to do much with her. We can just look her in the eyes and explain (simply! lol) why she shouldn't do something and how we should fix it, and she usually complies. She likes making people happy, which is a plus for us. I can only hope things continue this smoothly as she gets older.

Have a great day. Hope this helped!

Answer 6

i have a 2 year old i use time out i take things away when my mother -in -law is not around.

Answer 7

My kids are 13, 13, 11 and 8.

I rarely have to punish my kids because I have been so consistent with past discipline that they have developed self discipline. My youngest probably gets the most punishment at this point and even then it doesn't take much to shape him up because we have been so consistent.

I use and have used in the past with my older boys..

taking away privilages (video games, TV, computer, toys) amount of time lost depends on the bad choice that was made.

writing apology notes (must say what they did wrong, why it was wrong and what they could have/should have done instead)

Being sent to bed early

time out (one minute per year of age) followed by a talk about the choice they made to misbehave and what they should have done instead.

I do a lot of talking to my kids about why certain behaviors are expected and why certain behaviors are wrong. Knowing these things and understanding them helps develop self discipline where the kids make good choices on their own based on what they know is right and wrong and because they want to do the right thing. They don't just make good choices to avoid punishment.

Would I ever rob a bank? no is it because I don't want to go to jail? No I don't rob a bank because that would be the wrong thing to do and I would not feel good about myself. I have a conscience. My belief is that if you teach a child right from wrong and why then they also develop their own conscience and they learn to make good choices for the right reasons.

I teach my kids about cause and effect and how THEY are in control. most kids get mad at their parents when they do something wrong and receive a punishment. My kids get disapointed in themselves for making a bad choice. they have come to realize that they control the outcome of their actions by controling their actions.

Our motto is "It's up to me" It's up to them if they will lose TV because only they control which choices they make. This is the most important lesson a parent can teach their kids.

To me good parenting doesn't come from how you punish a child. It's everything else you do and the more you need to punish your child the more you know you aren't doing it right.

EDIT: Also I would never tell my child to stop doing something more than once before I would take action. I hear people say all the time "I tell them a dozen times and they don't listen" or I say it three times then they get punished". If they don't do what you ask after the first time chances are they won't so take action right away.

Answer 8

I use the "Christmas is coming, don't make me call Santa" thing but now my little boy(6) says "call him dad, I want to talk to him". Time outs don't work ans I do spank just not hard enough. So My wife and I just keep it real and be positive and up to date with out kids. We have two a girl(7) and boy(6). We're both in our early thirty's and hip up to date people. I take my son to the drag races with me and My wife takes our daughter to the mall and shopping. My kids are really well behaved and not too spoiled. Anyway just keep things good at home and not "nerdy" things should straighten out.....Good Luck and spank there *** now and then...JK.= ;)

Answer 9

I do mainly timeouts, and taking things away, I only slap their hand when its something dangerous, like touching the stove, trying to climb on the dresser,etc something that they couldseriously get hurt from I'll give them a little swat bc yelling doesnt do it, and my kids need that little scare to keep them away.

Answer 10

Hang the bloody wicker snapper's by the thumb, I say.

Answer 11

I use a reward system. Praise and rewards for good behaviour, and stickers on their charts.

At the end of the month the kids stickers are totalled and we they get to do different activities. For really good behaviour we have taken them to the movies or the pool, or the wildlife park.

When they are being naughty dependant on the crime, is how we punish.

We will take a sticker down for 3 time outs in one day. We use time out usually for 5-10 minutes. Our time out places are well scattered, I have put them in the DRY shower bay, or in their room, or in a corner.

I don't yell much, but I have yelled at them. I don't tend to do this, as my 4yo is from an abusive background and turns to jelly. I usually just think about doing it.

I have given them a taste of their own medicine, and only recently after they behaved like cave men, I made them clean their toy room. And I mean clean, they had to wipe over everything and even made them clean the walls (they drew on them, so only fair).

I also put them back to bed, and make them sleep off their naughties. Especially if they are in that kind of mood.

I pretty much use my mind for different punishments, I don't really like hitting and screaming. It's been hard finding something that would work well with all 3 toddlers, but I think we are getting there. They like the Reward Charts, and knowing they get something from being good - Even if it is a packed of stickers.

However my kids don't get punished for little things. I have a very easy going personality, and things I have seen my sister's in-law punish their children for, I let my kids get away with. I don't mind noise, and as long as they aren't harming themselves, someone else, something else, or an object, they are usually alright.

Answer 12

well im not a parent but i will tell you how my parents punished me.

if i did something wrong when i was about ages 6-9 they would not allow me to watch tv and i would be grounded. ages 10-12 they would swear at me and then ground me. ages 13-16 they would hit me and swear at me and also ground me.

yea... they are pretty harsh haha im still 16.

Answer 13

spanking does not work and should not be used it can get out of control

time out works for our 3 year old the little one2 does not really care about anything

Answer 14

juts a little screamming and a tiny spank,we mostly get it well i mostly get it....

Answer 15

Standing in the corner works wonders on my 5 year old.  She has to face the corner and not look around.  It hurts her way more than any spanking possibly could

Answer 16

I have two kids April 4 and Tyrone 7. They are pretty well behaved but when they get out of hand I usually will withhold their privileges. First offense no cigarettes for a week. Second offense I will additionally take away their beer allowance. Works most the time. Your welcome for the star.

Answer 17

I punish my 5 year old son by taking a toy away from him if its related to him playing, I remove him from the room sometimes, I talk to him to explain why his behaviour is bad, lots of things-they dont always work!

The main thing I try to do is critisise the behaviour, not him as a person.

Answer 18

hi,

my mom and dad usally take away my laptop and ipod touch if i do something really bad i have to stay in my room and no tv, for like 1 day or so but  i can come down when i am hungrey.

for 2 year old give them a time out and a little pat on the hand telling them not to do that. thats wat workss for my parents. i been threw alot of time outs and stuff and i am grounded from tv right not you no what 12 year old can lol

good luck with the kids

lulu

good luck with the kids!

Answer 19

It depends what they do. Taking away things from them seems to work wonders. Spanking are only used when necessary!! Good luck!!

Answer 20

I do not have children as of yet, but when I have children theses will we the consequences:

- Lying, cursing or talking back they will get their mouth washed out

- fighting (amongst each other) they will be separated and each go to time out afterward they have to apologize to each other.  

- all other punishments will be according to the situation.

I know that people will disagree with my views and that is their right. However I would thank you if you don't attack me (or anybody for that  matter) for my views.

MLC

Answer 21

My daughter is going 2 be  5 in a week , every week something different works for us.Right now was seems to be working is sending her to her room for 15 min, yes 15 !!! if i leave her there for 5min she thinks its a joke. After the 15 min passed we explain to her the reasons why she was there and what we expect from her so that the punishment won't happens again. But i know next week she will get used to this, she is very active.

Answer 22

When my son is really naughty, or getting on my nerves, he has to sit on his plastic chair, and face the wall.

I put the chair allmost right against the wall, so maybe his toes are touching the skirting board.

Works well.

Have not done this many times, but Joseph knows when he is sent to his chair that  he is "in big twuble mista"

i realy dont like yelling or smacking, but that said i do smack him when he needs its.

Spare the rod and spoil the child

Proverbs 13:24 The Bible

"He who spares the rod hates his Son, but he who loves his Son is carefull to discipline him"

Answer 23

Time out "corner time" for the 5 & 6 year old.  Our 10 year old has to write sentences.  The count usually starts at 100 and goes up depending on what he did, or if he talks back about writing the sentences.  We also do take away playstation, or TV preveliges.  It all depends on what they did wrong.

Answer 24

We don't punish the kids.  We assume that they want to be trusted, liked, responsible, good, polite, safe & healthy people and we help them to learn how to do that.  

So, once they are ready to learn each new thing in life, we take the time to teach it to them until they seem ready to deal with the choices themselves.  After that, if they make a mistake, we help them to see the mistake, make amends, face the natural & logical consequences and figure out how to do it differently the next time.  

Sometimes the logical consequence of repeated mistakes is the loss of freedom to make their own choices in those situations, until we can teach them in a different way or until they are emotionally & intellectually developed enough to try the lesson again.

Answer 25

I think after a few warnings its time for a spanking and time out. NEVER IN PUBLIC THOUGH  its not about public humilliation.then some time out to think about what they did and why you reacted the way you did. And then coming back and talking to them about what happened and reaffirming that you still love them it's just you don't like it when they throw a tantrum in the middle of the cookie isle.

Answer 26

Locking them in the cupboard without food for a few hours seems to work for me. Try it!

Answer 27

I have to say each child is different, so, what works for one may or may not work for the other... I have two children and I raised one stepchild, and each required a different approach.

For my 17 year old daughter I did in fact spank her... This was of course after trying other methods, she was very hardheaded and taking things away, timeouts and yelling ever seemed to affect her. Only a spanking was affective and the promise that a spanking everyday before the day began, seemed to keep her in line..Sounds very harsh, but it worked..Once she was about ten I didn't have to use this kind of punishment anymore, the threat of not going to Disney(which we go every year)or losing her birthday party was enough to hold her through out the school year...

Now, my 8 year old is a different story all together, she will not respond to a spanking at all. If I hit her she would only hold in her tears and say something like" that didn't hurt". I realize this very early and had to try all kinds of ways to discipline her.What turned out to be effective was either talking to her to make her understand or not speaking to her when she was disrespectful. Not talking would break her down(finally some tears) and talking it over with her would make her think... she never wanted to displease me.

And lastly, there was my stepchild who I had limited punishment approaches... He was very materialistic, and so I only had to take things away, like toys, games, phone, outside time etc.  

So, each child is different....

Answer 28

i dont have kids, but still the reward charts and the taking away things always worked for my mom when i was little lol, u should try that, maybe no tv for a day, it might work, hope i helped out!!! good luck =D

Answer 29

For my kids....  They both are different, different things work individually speaking.  They are so very opposite.  For my oldest, when he was 2-10, spankings worked pretty darn well.  For my younger one who is now 11, that doesnt work so well, just damages him...lol.  With him I have to EXPLAIN in depth how he errored and give him a punishment like a grounding or take something away.  Trick is...I have to keep reminding him everytime he wants to play the DS and it is confiscated...WHY its confiscated....  He eventually rethinks his ways...  Works pretty well.

Answer 30

I also do NOT do spanking! I might pop my kids on the arm to get them to listen but not spanking it just doesnt work for me! When i want my oldests to listen i whisper they're names it works for me because they dont think there in trouble...Instead of yelling them it works for me! I do the time-outs and taking away things from our children it works very well!