How do you..?

Question

explisn to an adopted child they are adopted if they are like only 4 and they think your their mom.

btw this isnt happening to me or anything ive just always been curious about that...

Answer 1

I started talking to my newborn son about his adoption as soon as I met him when he was an hour old. It's easy to talk to a baby and it's easy to get into the habit and to find the words before the child understands or can talk back or has questions. I just talked to him about it routinely and casually. Just like I talked to my bilogical daughter about whom she looked like and what a joy she was and how happy she made me, I talked to my son in the same way but left out the part about how he looked just like Uncle Sid and Grandpa and added in the part about how I was so lucky that Stacey chose me to be his mom. The words come out easily.

Answer 2

An adopted child should always know s/he is adopted. The sky is blue, the grass is green and I am adopted. Understanding the meaning of it is totally different, this  usually happens at around 5 - 7 years old, before then they cannot grasp the implications of it. I always talk to my boys about Tummy mommy Christina and then me as their mom.

Answer 3

i'm guessing you meant explanation to an adopted child? i am/was adopted and i grew up knowing. I personally think its better that way. I hear of people not telling their kids and i think its crazy. They are going to find out eventually and if it were me, i would be pissed to find out at an older age.

Answer 4

Every story is different, and with a child this young, hopefully, adoption has been a "part" of the families language for a while now.

Another adoptive mom/friend of mine has a 5 year old who asked if she "grew in her mommy's tummy", her answer was that no, she grew in another mommy's tummy, but God meant for her to be her mother. It was as simple as that, and she was satisfied with the answer. Most children at this age accept simple answers.

There are a ton of books on this subject. There are Lifebooks/scrapbooks, and also mothers can create their own "story book" for their child on their adoption and read it to them very early on. These books are only about 5 pages long, but may or may not hold a picture of the birthmother, then your famly, and a very simple story of the childs adoption story. This is a private book, should be always put away, so that other friends/etc., cannot pick it up and read it. It also is a tool for the adopted child to grab and read for comfort whenever they feel they need to.

As the child grows older, more delicate details can be revealed. It is also important for adoptive parents to become involved in the school systems very early on (pre school) to work with teachers so that when there is a "family tree" homework assignment, it is handed out with adoptive families in mind.