How do you "let go of the past"?

Question

So, how does one "let go" of the past? I mean, the events that happened to us over the years have shaped us into who we are today, so how can you just "drop it"? Say your father spends your entire childhood telling you how stupid and ugly and worthless you are; and after you grow up, he mellows with age and becomes a 'nice guy' and expects you to just forget the past and "let it go". How on earth do you do that?? I'll be the first to admit, I hold grudges FOREVER. But come on. A father is mean to his daughter, or is distant and uncaring, so her entire adulthood is shaped by this. She dates uncaring, unavailable, distant men in the hopes of "making" them love her. So how do you just "let go" of something that's made you who you are today? And how do you forgive someone who's been mean to you your whole life? It's like letting them 'get away with it' and suffer no consequence for their actions. What do you think? P.S. A note to the religious folk. Spare me the preaching. You may believe whatever you like, but please don't tell me to ask your god for forgiveness or what not. Thank you.

Answer 1

If you get a good logical answer to your question please let me know!

Answer 2

It took me a long time to realize that you have to love yourself more--not as much... more.  It sounds selfish, arrogant even.  However, if you think of the kinds of awful things people do to each other... you cannot afford to not be your # 1 fan.  

And I totally agree that the bad things from the past shape what we become in the future--but it doesn't define our future.  If you're not into the 'Omni-Omni-Omni' I would think that you'd hold your own choices as being vital in your destiny... Therefore, you break the cycle.  

Its not as easy as it sounds, I know.  I think you have to know what you're not looking for in order to find what you want.  It sounds like you're ahead of the game in that respect.  

"Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery: today is a gift--and that's why we call it the present."

Take care, girlie! I hope you find your peace.