How do you rationalize wedding budget

Question

I just started putting together a list of how much I would need to budget for each part of my wedding and I was surprised that it came to almost 15k (including honeymoon, rehearsal dinner et al). I think I will probably go through with the wedding at this price since I have some savings that will cover that and it is for 200 people so it isn't like I can do something nice for much less. But I am having a hard time rationalizing spending this much when it could go to things like starving children in Africa. This price is pretty much how much I spend on everything normally in a year, not a day. But I also think it is important to have big celebrations sometime. How do you rationalize the cost and not feel wasteful?

Answer 1

I guess this doesn't rationalize your problem, but I couldn't bring myself to spend that kind of money...my husband and I were engaged for 4 years before we got married and dated 3 years before he proposed so we were together for 7 years before the 'big day'.  At first I had an elaborate 10k wedding planned but as the time passed from the initial "I'm getting married" thrill, we decided that this day was for us to symbolize our commitment etc. and that we decided our money would be better spent on buying something we could have and hold =)  We got a Harley and bought a house...We had a small service at a place that was special to us, and went out to dinner afterwards.  We have a very solid marriage and enjoy the things we have.

Answer 2

I know what you mean and I'm there right now. Once I planned a budget and put dollar values next to each thing, then I tried to go around and around it to find alternatives. Not sure if you have one, but I'm using this excel sheet for the budget file: http://www.vertex42.com/Links/go.php?url...

You just have to be creative and think outside the box.

Some examples:

Hair and makeup: How much will it cost? Have you looked around? Call a makeup college and ask for some contacts of recent grads and ask how much they charge and whether they can give you a free trial. Savings of about $100 (average)

Invitations: Are you ordering or making them yourself? Invitations to make are $18 for 50 nice cards. For 200 people you'll probably need 100 cards at most? Take them to staples, have it printed, put a beautiful ribbon on it and send it off! Savings of $200 depending on cards you choose!

RSVP cards: why waste money on them? Print up little cards asking to RSVP online (through your website or email) or by phone.

Wedding favors: do you really need to give them? how much are they? can you find better deals? I'm giving tree seedlings as favors $1 each and they'll grow into beautiful trees (better than soap anyday!) and i'll wrap them in ribbons :)

Centerpieces: how much are they costing you? can you make something yourself and cut the cost?

Flowers: can you and the bridesmaids do the flowers yourself? i shopped and shopped online and found that some of the less expensive florists were on the later pages (page 15, 16 of google!). Also I looked at bridal show websites lists of exhibitors and found other ones. Another thing I'm doing is using the bridesmaid bouquets as centerpieces before reception begins. This way they serve two purposes and look beautiful displayed on the tables.

Cake: They're soo expensive!!!! I have a lead right now for a chinese bakery which charges by the pound instead of slice. But if they're still too pricey, I've found a small bakery that does awesome cakes and will order a small three round different sized cakes (I bought the tier stand already for $30 instead of rent for $45!) and a large slab cake. My bridesmaids will quickly decorate it with flowers and edible rose petals before reception. This way we still cut the cake and the servers will cut the slab cake and serve that right after without much waiting. Noone will know and it'll all be great!

Photography and videography: try if you can to get the same place to do it. They'll give better prices this way. Again check on bridal show websites, local listings and also local craigslist. Be specific as to what you want and don't want and ask for a customized package.

Either way, never be afraid to negotiate and bargain. If your budget is $150 for your bouquet, go to a few florists and show a picture of what you like and say your budget is only $75 and see how it goes. Never know!!!!

Halls and restaurants are expensive and the best thing to do is to ask around and find times that are off season or book on a Sunday instead to save some money.

You can always use the savings and put it towards your honeymoon or a wonderful charity like http://www.humanityfirst.org.

All the best!!!

Answer 3

I'm inviting 200 people, expecting & budgeting for 175, and have a 20k budget without adding on the honeymoon.

You can rationalize your 15k this way - - you're doing better than NovaQueen and you're even covering the honeymoon - LOL!

Also, look at the type of party you are having.  Aren't you being modest in some things?  I doubt on a 15k budget that you blew 5-grand on your dress.  You are being modest in your choices in order to come in at your budget.

Also, your budget is close to 1/2 of the average price of a wedding!

Answer 4

Well now that you have you list of must haves thats when you go through and see what can be cut back on

smaller guest list- haven't talked in a while, not-that-close friends, co workers that you don't really consider friends.  They don't need to go!

Who can help?  Mom and dad helping with the wedding?  In laws covering the rehearsal.  Ask who can do what.

Down grade but still look good- More simple party food.  BBQ home cooked rehearsal dinner or a picnic.  Skip the formality, you can save that for the wedding.  Skip the gourmet foord and get stuff more people will love.

Used- Ebay, craigs list, want ads.  Most wedding items were used once!  Whats wrong with another go around?  Centerpieces, wedding gown, cake topper.  You can get what you want for half the price!

there is always something you can do to cut back!

Answer 5

well hopefully you will only do it one time in your life so go all out.  

Answer 6

Folks wed for less.  You don't have to have a $15,000 budget.  That is your choice.

See budget tips here:

http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/user/...

Check out the Knot's wedding checklist and budget calculator.

http://theknot.com/

You may not want or even need everything mentioned at the Knot, but it is a good place to start.

Why not try to spend half the $15,000?  Spend $7500 on the wedding, then donate $7500 to your favorite charity.

At the budget site above, there were brides having lovely weddings for $6000.  You too can do that if you like.  

Quickest ways to save?

Keep the guest list small.

Skip favors.

Check out non-traditional ideas here:

http://offbeatbride.com/

Check out this budget wedding:

http://offbeatbride.com/2008/07/kate-and...

Answer 7

I think you are already a truly giving spirit to even consider this!  

It is true; you should treat yourself and your loved ones at times of celebrations!  I don't feel you should go into debt to do it, but if your means allow, have a great time!

One way to assuage your possible guilt would be to just be mindful of what you are choosing and spending as you go through the planning process.  For example, invitations are a great place to save a little!  So, I suggest starting with the lower priced invitations first when you look; if you find one you like, stop looking!  If you truly do not find one you like, move to the next price range.  

You can apply this to several areas of spending for the wedding.  

Also, there are areas to save by not buying those items at all.  Such as favors; it's been my experience that a lot of guests do not even take the favors-so it ends up being a complete waste of money!  Also, you can forgo the programs for the ceremony; unless you are doing some very unique traditions that need explaining, you really don't need them!  

Think of other traditional wedding elements that are not very high on your list of priorities and use these to help you save!

Answer 8

i just had to remind myself that this is *my* day and no amount of money should hold me back from having the *perfect* day! this may be a once in a lifetime celebration ... so, why pass up the chance to splurge on yourself a little?!?  you don't want to look back and say 'oh, i wish i had spent a little more money on the flowers, photos, djs, honeymoon, etc.' you want to look back and say 'that was the best day of my life!' we spent  50k on our wedding and i don't regret a single penny!

you've spent your life helping friends and family, and now you have the opportunity to help yourself. splurge a little and enjoy. good luck and congrats on your engagement!

Answer 9

I too find it quite hard.  I am a college student and he is trying to get his business off the ground.  There is very little to go around and both of our families are not able to help.  Money is a real commodity to us so we don't want to spend over 12,000.  10,000 is where I want to cap it, but I think 12,000 it will be.  We only have $4,500 right now.  I don't know how else we're gonna do it!  Our family member come to about 80 and our close friends 45.  Our original list was 283 which we were able to bring down to 208...then the hard cuts brought us to 175 and finally to 125.  I amjust upset that the wedding industry is raping peoples wallets!!!  Noe I can't have a nice sit downn dinner with at least 175 people.  My wedding will suck cause I wanted my other friends there!!! But I'm NOT spending over 12,000!!  Anyhew, good luck to you!  

Answer 10

Well you could have people donate to a charity instead of wedding gifts as part of rationalizing.  Also there is the whole "Go Green" revolution that is taking place.  Another thing to do is use things in your wedding that you can use again or give to guests to use after the wedding.  That way they will be re-usable and not only good for that day.

Good luck in your wedding and wish you and your future hubby all the best.

Answer 11

for my wedding 3 years ago, i spent extra money on things that would last for more than 1 day. for example photography.  

there are so many things that you can spend money on just 1 day.  me and my husband decided to splurge on things that matters, and save on things that would not matter couple years down the road.  

expensive flowers, fancy invitations, chair covers, silverware, serving appetizer.  etc, these are all very nice things to have.  but,  does it matter couple year down.  cut your cost when you can.  say, instead of using a dozen of flower for a center piece, use taller or bigger but less flowers.   u or your friend would probably notice the difference between a $15 centerpiece and a $50 centerpiece.  but does it matter?!?  

i personally think that wedding is really just one day.  you are spending $15000 (minus the photographer and videographer) for an unforgetable experience.  it is a day that you commit yourself with someone that you love and decide to spend the rest of life together. it certainly is an important day to remember.  

however, with your Sweetheart,  a $1000 wedding would be just as memorable as a $5000 and as memorable as $15000.    spending more money to get something fancy would not make you any happier.  because nothing can be happier or more memorable than commiting yourself with your sweetheart.   it will be a memorable day because you commited yourself to each other, not because you use a $150 centerpiece, served a 5 course meal in a 5 star hotel for 300 guests.  

what really matter is you will come to a compromise with your other half and agree on how much to spend and where to spend your money.  i think it is a wonderful to plan a big event before you are legally married.  because,  with planning like these, you can really tell the personality and value in the other person.  it is very unlikely that a couple will agree on every single thing with each other, but that got to be a compromise, and a united vision as for what is important and what is not.  

Answer 12

We did not set a budget for ourselves, but ended up spending somewhere in the neighborhood of what you mentioned. I didn't feel guilty in the slightest, because the money we spent allowed us to celebrate what I consider one of the most important steps of adulthood with those who matter to us. As I guess you;'re finding out, feeding a crowd isn't cheap.

There is nothing to rationalize about celebrating the milestones in your life with the people you care about.