How do you react to parent's fights, when you're an adult?

Question

A little HISTORY:

My dad threatened to divorce my mom.

I knew it wouldn't go anywhere, but as USUAL there was a silence between them...it lasted 3 weeks

Throughout those weeks, my mom would ask me and my sister (her oldest daughters) to ask him to be rational and such because she didn't want to have to cry to him to take her back...she wanted him to apologize for the fight and keep her dignity.

I didn't do anything because I wasn't sure who was right

My sister would argue with him, but she would never win b/c of her adopted independent american attitude as a child growing up of talking back and disrespecting parents.

In the end, My mom had to cry for his forgiveness and today my dad seems to have forgiven her because he's started to speak to her a bit.

My QUESTION:

I'm 18 and in college, so am I expected to resolve or interrupt the fighting?

Do you monitor your parents fights or do you hide in your room like when you were younger?

I have a little brother who tries to butt in on the fights, but I always tell him to go watch tv or something and he only leaves if I say I'll take care of it.

Is it fine if I just end up watching to make sure no one gets physically hurt?

Answer 1

in my opinion, you should just not interfere, but if theres like really bad threating or somone gets physically hurt, then i would try to help make things right. otherwise, you sould let ur parents fix their problems.

Answer 2

I know you want to help your parents resolve their problems, but you're their child.  It's not your responsibility to act as the middle man and it's unfair of them to put you in that position.  Next time they try to get you involved, explain that to them and suggest they work together to solve their issues on their own.  After that, you can wash your hands of the matter.

Answer 3

my aunt is 26 years old and used to try to intervene in fights. it really just came off as nosy when she did it, but maybe that's because she always sided with her dad. either way, i really wouldn't try to get in the middle of it. let them argue, but yeah, you might want to monitor it.

- i would just tell your mom that you don't want to get involved. like, "i'm really sorry, mom, but it's none of my business." if she continues to prod you about siding with her, then.. uh.. i would leave. i don't know if that's the right thing to do, haha, but i would leave.

Answer 4

You're mom needs to step up and take responsibility. It's not your or your sisters jobs to take care of their issues. I would tell your mom in person that you aren't going to solve her problems. And keep the promise.