How do you react when you see a Muslim acting unislamically?

Question

Say, you have a Muslim friend that drinks or dates, what do you do? It's obviously a tough position to be in, especially if its a really close friend. Do you just stay quiet and not say anything, or do you try expalining to them what they're doing is wrong?

Answer 1

Salam alikoum,

As a Muslimah it's my duty to show the right path and it's my duty to not accept the sinful behaviours of my brothers and sisters. I'm not a person who put a nose in all things, but if I see that my sister for example doesn't wear hijab or doesn't pray, I can't just be in silent. Each Muslim will be asked at the Judgement Day about those people, if he did everything what possible to made them come back on the right way. It doesn't mean that you have to shout at them (but sometimes it is even necessary). You can explain your statement calmly, you can send her/him some books to read, you can arrange some meeting with sisters/bothers to help you. And what's the most important - you have the strongest weapon: PRAYER. Pray to Allah to make them understand that the only happy life is when they obey Allah.

Personally, when I see my sisters breaking Islamic rules.....I feel like crying. Because so many non-Muslims are fighting to become Muslim, they suffer a lot but they are so strong in faith; they die for Allah; they live their lives and families in order to be able to practice Islam correctly. And so many Muslims who have everything, who live in Islamic country among other Muslims, they are loosing this treasure so easily.

Salam

Answer 2

It's their religion, they can practice it however they want!  When a christian says that they hate g*y people, or blacks, do you point out how unchristian it is to hate anyone?

Answer 3

It is said that when u see anyone doing something wrong speak to them bout it, if u can talk to them bout it, write to them bout it if u cant write to them bout it then express it to them but if u cant do these things then just think in mind how bad this person is doing and pray for him/her :)

I would talk to that person bout what he/she doing and would try to make them understand :) (if he/she was my close friend)

Cos what are friends for??? If they dont explain to us then who willl???

Answer 4

i would explain thats its inapropriate for their religion..

.. but what if they dont want to be who they are?

.. then its fine, i would accept it!

Answer 5

i get pissed but i explain to him/her whatever he/she is doing is wrong......ur not supposed to stay quiet if u see ur brother or sister in faith is doin somethin wrong...hope u kno what i mean

Answer 6

You can't tell people how to live their life. You have to accept your friends for who they are and what they do and you are no place to tell them if the actions they are doing are 'wrong'. None of your business. You don't want to drink or date? That's your problem.  

Answer 7

leave that person alone!!! Im a muslim, and i date, but not drink. I dont drink because it tastes bad, not because its 7ram. their are a lot of people who arent religious, just like me..u can change that, u can say o we non religious muslims are going to h**l. WAKE UP! its time to believe in common sense not its a sin to eat pork..gosh u religious people are soo weird sometimess. if u really wanna say something to ur friend than do it, trust many people have tried to change me, i havent listened once.. i bet ur friend isn't either

Answer 8

i would explain to them calmly that this is wrong and you are commiting a great big sin so please don't do it... after various attempts if they still don't listen i would stop telling them

by the way it is stated in the quran that if you keep forcing or pushing someone to overcome their sin and they will not listen to you.. their sin will but stumbled upon your head..

also in my opinion religion is only between you and god. and on the day of qayamat in islam you and only you will have to face the wrath of allh (swt)

Answer 9

at least advice them, maybe things will get better when someone explains or tell them not to do things, if not or they get angry, then just keep quiet, at least u've done your job

Answer 10

Muslims who shun other muslims like you described just become taken away from society ( which is a bad thing ).

I see your interested in Middle east affairs, maybe you would like to email me ?

Answer 11

It's never easy to watch your friends struggle with their faith and what they know is right and what they do. However the best thing you can do for your friend is to talk to them about why they do what they do, there may be some underlying reasons or issues.

It's not always our place to inquire too much into someone elses faith because a lot of people take it as an attack or as something between them and God. While you are supposed to help eachother out by keeping eachother in check, to directly ask them or tell them what they are doing wrong might feel more of an attack rather than an attempt to help. You can still help by finding out why they feel they need to drink or date and talking through that.

Good luck!

Answer 12

I stay quiet, because it really means that it's the parents' fault.

but sometimes you do things that you cannot control like falling in love or lust. But some things are so controllable I feel ashamed sometimes like the drinking, it's obvious that you have to start that, and that was a bad choice, but honestly, if I see someone muslim dating, I feel more sorry for them then anything because it is uncontrollable to fall in love, and I understand that from past experiences. I get mad when I hear someone like my parents or their friends talking about someone who fell in love and how wrong that was, and how lost that kid is, because it is uncontrollable.

Answer 13

Good friends pull each other up and take them away from the bad path. Help your friend instead of doing nothing, it will be better for the both of you.  

Answer 14

I am really picky when it comes 2 friends.I alhamdulillah have been very wise in this.

But yes If I see Muslims acting unIslamically then my heart cries badly & I just make heaps of Duwa for that person.I believe that Duwa is a very powerful weapon.

Answer 15

that can be hard because you dont want to offend them but you could hint it to them some how or if you think its for the best tell another fellow muslim to have a word with them x

Answer 16

I get mad and feel bad for them.. I know alot of those people.. Some even, really close people.. I do try telling them, but after awhile, they forget and go back to those bad habits.. And yes its tough! Like times when i want to do my prayers, they r on the comp, playing the song loudly, hard to concentrate. Ignorance..

Answer 17

It's your duty to tell him or any Muslim of their wrongs.Once you have accomplished that,then let them do what they want.Because you have warned them of the dangers if their foolishness continues.

Answer 18

I wouldn't really know since I can't tell who is and who isn't a Muslim just by looking at them. I knew a Muslim once who said he drinks--I didn't realize dating was a problem--and I thought that was his business to do as he wanted.

Answer 19

Give him credit for being intelligent enough to know that ALL religions are nonsense. What the h**l is wrong with drinking and dating? God has the whole universe to run. I think he (or she) has more important things to worry about than what you drink, what you eat and whether you waste 2 1/2 hous every day praying. Islam, like all religions, is just a lot of silly nonsense.

But why do you ask? As a good Muslim, you know the answer: KILL HIM!

Answer 20

I guess I'd try to stay away from them. The Prophet did say that we should try to be friends with pious people (or words to that effect)

Answer 21

Who are you to say whats right or wrong?

Would you see a g*y couple in the street and tell them what they are doing is wrong because the bible says homsexuality is a sin?

Didin't think so.

Answer 22

Drinking and dating is FUN.  You should try it sometime.  Live and let live.  Don't bring your friend down, just because you are.

Answer 23

i do hav a friend like that. its up to her and her parents on the way she acts. different families hav different customs. im not gonna point out she acting,in my book, "unislamically".

Answer 24

I don't judge a Christian that has premarital s*x.  All humankind is fallible, and therefore should not be judged for their actions by another of their kind.

Answer 25

It's not anyone else's business. Unless he or she is doing something that may hurt themselves or others, you don't really have a say in how they live their lives. And you can't go around calling people bad muslims, or christians, whatever. That is not for you to decide. Only Allah or God can judge people in such a way. You can never really know a person as well as he does.  

Answer 26

I would stay quiet.

people are responsible for the choices they make.

Answer 27

You have to look at the fact that times are changing, and with those changing time, people are changing.  Accept him for what he is.  Maybe a very ridgid life isn't for him.  People must be allowed to change.  

Answer 28

I stay quiet, but I think they know what they are doing is haram, and they continue to do it anyway. I guess i'm not that close to them so I can't say much. Sometimes it gets sickening.  

Answer 29

It's good you are concerned for your friend. The best thing to do is talk to them nicely about it, but don't make it a big deal. It she says "forget about it" then do just that. And so you know, some people are not as devout or dedicated to their religion as others, which is totally okay and makes us all different. But sometimes it gets to a point and the only thing you can do is confront them about it and hope they work it out. Remember, you can't force them to do anything. Hope this helps!  

Answer 30

Are you muslim? Does your friend's personal life choices really affect you so much that you have to beg the yahoo answers community for help? If you care so much confront your friend, but be prepared for an argument,if any friend who told me what I was doing was wrong would be on the chopping block.

Answer 31

There are a few bosnians at school who do that c**p and call themselves Muslims, but I don't bother telling them.