Question:

How do you really know if someone loves you and not your money?

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kittykat: I get holiday cards, but not much else.

But then, I don't ask for anything either.

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  1. If I had money, I wouldn't let anyone I potentially wanted to date know that fact, honestly. I'm sure you can tell through just their overall attitude, are they being equal in the relationship or is everything one sided like you're the one always picking up the bill, rescuing them out of money problems, giving them expensive gifts because that's all they request? If a person wants to me your equal in the relationship and not just depend on you, then I think you can differentiate from who is using you and who is not.

    Good luck.


  2. You should ask Frank when he starts asking questions about moo moo lovins'!! That way, you can take his example and see if the person you're talking about acts like Frank. (He's only with moo moo lovins' because of her trust fund) LOL

    Sadly, you really can't tell. Someone you thought was caring and loving could turn on you when there is no money. Best bet? Probablyly a pre-nup. That way, if it doesn't work out, you know it was because of the money and you're safe from being raped.

  3. It is very sad to say that there is no sure fired way of telling that. I wish there was. I found myself in that position for 20 years. Never knowing if my relationships were founded by the money or me. It even goes for your friends sadly enough. I feel for you I really do. But if you are asking this question then I think you know the answer already. There are little signs you can pick up on like wanting things and letting you know it. Taking the things you do for her for granted. always wanting and not giving. but there are smart golddiggers out there who play the g ame very well. i wish i had better news for you but if you totally love this person sometimes you just have to take the plunge but protect yourself with a pre nup at all times. that is one way to tell. If she gets mad at a prenup then shes in it for the money. good luck i wish you well

  4. I think it's just about knowing the person well and seeing the type of relationship you have.  I earn a lot more than my husband and while I know he appreciates the extra money I bring in, there is just much more to our relationship than that.  We are best friends who share everything.

  5. when they ask, "now how much do you make....:"  lol

  6. you don't tell them you have money until you're sure they love you for you.

  7. Your financial success is a part of who you are. You need to accept and embrace that. It's ok to be successful, and if someone loves you in part for being successful, this IS loving you for you. It's ok for you to have certain expectations of the woman you're dating, and it's ok for her to have certain expectations as well. Learn to trust your judgment. If you feel that you are being used - well, maybe you are. You need to learn to read people and draw conclusions from their behavior. Yes, there are people (men and women) who will use others - but not everyone is like that. Look for someone you are comfortable with. Doesn't sound to me like you are comfortable in your relationship.

  8. Good question. It doesn't take long to figure it out. If you are having problems with that then you need to change the place you're meeting woman at. Find an independent woman that has her own. Get to know her and DON'T brag about what you have. It is hard to hide money no matter what. Get to know her and see where her head is at. I am an independent woman and I prefer a independent man that is financially stable like myself and if he is rich that is a plus. I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman wanting a man that is financially stable but I do think it is wrong if all she cares about is his money and not getting to know him.

  9. When you love someone they aren't thinking about money. I think we can generally know when someone likes you  for you or just because of your money  . In my opinion , I don't think anyone can tell if your rich unless you lavish yourself(having fancy cars etc.) that way.If you do that its worthless , a girl will want you for your money. If you don't make it a point to flash it out then you'll know that person still likes you and doesn't act different  because of your money. Then you can say the love is real.

    Good luck.  

  10. Have you ever thought about telling her that all the money is gone, bad investments or something, if she's only there for the money, she'll disappear, if not she'll stick around.  

  11. Because I have no money. :)

    Haha.  Honestly, that's tricky, you just have to trust them.  Is it really THAT much money where you may attract a golddigger?  If so then there really isn't much of a way to tell if they're sincere or just with you so they can live a lavish lifestyle.  

    Most people are not good enough an actress to pull that off though.  How does she treat you?  If the two of you are honest, and she tells you how she feels (even if she thinks you won't like it) than it's probably real love.  If she's overly compliant and will do anything to avoid an argument with you, she's probably sticking around for your money.

    Good luck!

  12. If you have to ask this question, she loves your money. Someone in love could be dirt poor and still be happy with that person. Stop paying for things and see what happens.  

  13. Sadly you can't as only time can reveal their real motives especially if they're good actors/charmers. They can even go to length as to sign a pre-nup just so they can live in the comfort of your money.

    The best you can do is get to know the person well even their past which will tell you a lot about them. Although sometimes, someone's past can't also tell you who they are now since people change (for good or bad).

  14. i love you--now, how much is in your 401K? wink!!

  15. Well the money is a part of you.

    Just don't change.

  16. Well do they go out of their way to do things for you? Little things that a person does or says will tell you whether or not someone loves you. For instance out of the blue...if she gives you a note or card telling you how you make her feel.  

  17. Don't give them any money and see if they stick around.  Let them pay once in a while on dates.  Don't brag about your money or stuff and don't' try to buy them or attract them with your money in the first place.

  18. I think it's harder to find someone when you have lots and lots of money to start off. People can be tricky and manipulative and it is nearly impossible to have your guard up and try to open up and love at the same time. I would have to know the characteristics I would want in a woman and start that way I guess. I think for someone with money, it will take a lot more time. They need to learn everything about that other person including their family and see what they do in hypothetical situations. It will take a longer time but if you desire it, you will find it. Good luck.  

  19. If she's asking you for things a lot, that's not a good sign.

    How do you really know if someone loves you and not your money?  I guess when they don't ask about it, don't expect you to buy them the moon and the stars, and don't make you pick up the tab every time.

    I was self-employed, running a very successful business for 15 years.  I sold it last year.  My boyfriend and I got together about two months before I sold it.  (We're still together, by the way...)  He has never, to this day, asked me how much I sold the business for, makes it a point to stay out of my personal (read, financial) business, and pays his way.

    He works construction, works his butt off, in fact, and appreciates the fact that I can stay home and make it a comfortable place for him to be when he's there.  He never asks me anything about money, except for my advice on his finances.  AND he actually listens to what I tell him!

    I know who I am, I know what I'm made of.  I also know he loves me for all those things.

    Ask yourself, what impression am I making to the world in general.  Do I come across as wealthy?  Drive a nice car?  Spend money ostentatiously?  Or do you keep a low key and your personal business to yourself?

    I know some wealthy people, and the ones that seem to have found personal happiness don't  come across as rich.  I think having a good sense of yourself helps.

    Don't know if this will help or not, it's just my observations on life in general.


  20. Sadly, you can't always tell.

    There are some real charmers out there who have nothing but the worst intentions and can play the game well.

    The downside to being very successful, is there are a lot of gold diggers out there who want to strip you everything you have.

  21. That's a hard question... but in some sense you have to look at the women's actions.   Does she talk about money all the time? Does she always mention she wishes she has something better? Does she always want things bigger?

    When you date someone male/female you have to keep your ears open to what their saying and doing?  

    For me .. I like the simple things in life..HOWEVER, the two things I don't mess with our my shoes and my diamonds. two of the girls best friends!  oh and chocolate!


  22. before you ask them out, tell them you are not very rich

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