How do you report fraudulent Homeschooling? I fully 100% support HS, but in this case there is no schooling.?

Question

My 10 y/o niece was taken out of school when she was in Kindergarten, then put back into school for one semester when she was in 1st grade. Her 8 y/o brother has only gone to Pre-K for one semester. My sister 'claims' to be homeschooling, but there is no evidence and my nephew cannot read or write. These children also appear to be addicted to things like nyquil and benedryl. My sister is addicted to otc drugs and Rx drugs but we cannot prove it. What do I do to help my niece and nephew? I am so upset but do not know what the laws are on abusing the homeschool system or fraudulent homeschooling.

Answer 1

Okay, while I can understand that a lot of the adults who answered this question are in defense of homeschooling and probably reacting so defensively because our choice to homeschool tends to be under constent criticism, I do think there is more to this question than just a possible anti-homeschool bias. I come from a family with an older sibling who encountered drug problems as he reached adulthood. We (parents and myself) didn't find out about it until he was already well over 18 and moved out of the house, and so I can understand the whole not being able to prove it thing. We saw him using drugs and he admitted it to us, but he somehow managed to cheat his way through drug tests, or clean himself up (cranberry juice and lots of bran, I assume) before the test day, and the one time he got really bad at the house and I called 911 (mom was getting milk and eggs for a baking project we were doing before he got there) he "sobered up" immediately when I slipped and said the word "ambulance" when mom got home and asked why the front door was open. He just went from not being able to stand up or complete a sentence that actually makes sense to being perfectly coherent and telling the EMT's that he was just feeling under the weather and that the things I described couldn't be taken seriously because I don't see very well. Mom tried to help, but since she wasn't there, they wouldn't take her word, and they didn't drug test him or take him to the ER or anything. So I know what you mean when you talk about not being able to prove it. That doesn't necessarily mean it doesn't exist. My brother has turned over a new leaf over the past few years (by the way, he wasn't homeshooled. Only I am) and is totally drug free thanks to the salvation army and a good support program, but had we both been older at the time and he had children, I would have done everything in my power to get them somewhere safe and get him some help WITHOUT doing any emotional harm to the kids.

If you are really sure that your sister has some kind of drug addiction anad that the children are at risk, then I support your decision to get them some help. Understand that homeschooling may not be the problem here. Lots of 8 year olds struggle with reading. It's easy to blame homeschooling for that because you can't just blame the child and it's in human nature to blame SOMETHING. If he was in public school, you'd probably be blaming his teacher even if the rest of the class could read. There's also something called unschooling which is basically student-directed, interest and delight based learning, and if done right it works surprisingly well.  Go to HSLDA.org and look up the homeschooling laws in your state. It's possible that the children are taking yearly standardized tests, and if anything was amiss they would have already been put back into a different school setting (public, private, or charter) I wouldn't go and report fraudulant homeschooling in this case, but I would DEFINITELY report child endangerment IF you're sure there's something wrong.

Yes, you run the risk of being cut off from these kids, but only if your sister knows you reported her. If you are in fact on good terms with her now, STAY THAT WAY, but call in anonymously just in case something isn't right. If child protective services can't do anything, then at least you'll be able to be there as a role model for the kids and possibly help your sister find help for herself if you stay on good terms with her. Maybe you could even offer to help teach a afew lessons with her kids, or take them on a field trip now and then to a local zoo or museum, or help  her find a homeschool support group in the area... And then if that works and if you still see problems, help her find an addiction support group for herself.

For those of you who say it's none of this asker's business...well, what would you do if you were 100% certain that two of your child relatives were in some sort of danger, but the authorities just weren't getting involved on their own? Homeschoolers as a whole do not neglect their kids, and it's wrong to call in the authorities just because someone you know is homeschooling and you don't agree with homeschooling, but there IS that rare household, be it a homeschool family or a public or private school family, that does have some problems Not all parents are angels. We hear it in the news all the time, don't we? It could be a homeschool mom or a public school mom or a mom whose kids aren't even school age yet. If you know the kids and/or  the parent needs help, would you just ignore it? No, this asker DOES NOT have the right to make any psychological or physical evaluations. She's not a doctor nor a psychologist nor a judge or police officer... but if she's pretty certain something is wrong, why shouldn't she call one of those professionals in to make sure everything is okay and the kids aren't being hurt? She won't get in trouble for anonymously reporting suspicions if it means possibly saving two little kids.

Answer 2

Once an error is clearly and fully understood, it need not be repeated. Addiction is to the false Self. Drugs and Alcohol are just self-medication trying to alleviate the pain caused by that  addiction.Find it more information here:

http://the-drug-addiction-treatment.blog...

Answer 3

contact childrens services

Answer 4

I don't think this is a home school issue as much as a child endangerment issue.  You need to call child protection services and voice your concerns.  I would stress the addictions and not so much the home schooling.  It seems home schooling is the least of these children's problems.

Just because the boy is 8 and can't read doesn't mean much.  Most 8 year olds in the public school system can't read, and in fact many who graduate high school in the public school can't read.  Bottom line, if you think the kids are being neglected and abused you should contact CPS, but this really has nothing to do with the kids being home schooled.

Answer 5

i think that since this is your sister that you would want to tred on the ice with caution but i also think that the kids deserve a good honest chance at an education so ask her to show you some of the work the kids are doing and then make up your mind as to  the accuracy of it.

Answer 6

You didn't tell which state you are in, so go here and click on your state.  You will want to report to where she applied for homeschooling.  http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/dire...

However, you have stated that the kids appear to be addicted to some medications.  I can only assume you have seen them ask for this on a continual basis.  

If she is not teaching her children, that is a form of abuse.

If she is drugging them for her own selfish reasons, that is abuse.  

This is serious.  

Without knowing her personally, or the situation,what you should do depends on some variables.  For example: Will she listen and get help TODAY, if so then calling the child welfare office could be a traumatic event that those children could then avoid.  

Listen.  You know her.  You know what is going on.  I think you know in your heart and mind what you need to do.  

You have to first confront her.  In a loving but firm way.  If there is omission and she has a heart to be helped, TODAY, then move from there with her.  If she protects her self-abuse and the abuse she is in flicking onto her children, start making the phone calls.

If you still have any doubt whom you should speak to, call the police and ask for their assistance.

I wish you and your all the best.

Answer 7

Absolutely contact your local government to find out the number for local childrens services.  You are doing the right thing if your description is correct.  You may just be catching things in time for your niece and nephew to get caught up in school.  This must be a tough decision for you, but the children's futures are at stake.  Make the call.

I agree with previous poster - each city/state/etc. has guidelines about what needs to be covered if someone is homeschooling their children.  Your sister should get a visit where she will need to show how she has covered the appropriate material for her children.

Answer 8

There are many eight year old boys in the Public School system that cannot read or write.  No one is screaming that they should all be pulled out and put in homeschool, but for some reason if they are homeschooled and can't read at eight, people think Public School is the answer.  The fact is that some boys are not ready to start reading before eight years old, and if you keep pushing it before then, you might get slow, labored, halting reading, but still no fluency.

If he is still not reading two years from now I would be a little more concerned.

As far as the NyQuil and benadryl, you have a right to be concerned if the children are actually addicted, but are you sure?  Perhaps they have allergies that are being treated with these medicines.  I know that I have very severe hay fever, and if I don't take some kind of medicine I cannot function.  My eyes are swollen and watery, my throat hoarse, my nose running, my head hurts, I can't breathe, and my nose itches constantly.  That does not make me addicted, it makes me an allergy sufferer.

Without knowing your sister or her kids, and without knowing their medical history, I simply can't say if they have a legitimate reason for using medications.  

As others said, you should research different methods of homeschooling and different philosophies about when it is best to begin formal education, there is a lot of evidence that early is not better, and that children who begin at eight or nine years old catch up and even pass kids who began four or five.

As far as the homeschooling laws, it really depends where you live.  Every state has its own laws.  Some states require no notification, no required subjects, no specified hours of instruction, while other states have strict rules.  There may not actually *be* such as thing fraudulent homeschooling where you live.

IF you truly feel the children are being abused, then calling children's services is in order, but if the homeschoooling is the only thing you have a problem with, I suggest you investigate the methods and philosophies a bit closer before jumping to conclusions.

Of course, all of this is said by someone who doesn't know your family at all.  You may have legitimate reason for concern.  Based on your nickname I assume you believe in God, so I suggest seeking God in prayer for guidance before taking any action.

You might also consider coming to your sister non-judgmentally, and say something to the effect of, "I'm really curious about how homeschooling works, would you mind telling me a little about what you do?"  You may discover that they are doing a lot more than you think they are, it may not all be book work, but it can still be learning.

Answer 9

i would contact the local children's aid society... maybe she isn't aware that she is hurting the children and i know that you only want the best for your niece and nephew.  they would keep your name confidential and no one would know that you were the one to noify them of your concerns .

good luck

Answer 10

I would become familiar with the homeschooling laws in your state.  Then I would speak to your sister or to your niece and nephew to find out what their homeschooling practices are.  It is possible that they are being unschooled.  I'm friends with an unschooling family whose son did not read until he was almost 10.  Once he started reading it took him only a couple of months before he surpassed the reading level of other children his age.

I applaud you for being concerned; but before you jump to conclusions I ask that you dig a little deeper before filing any complaint.  However, if it is clear that your sister is abusing the homeschool system then definitely report it.

Answer 11

Well the thing I would be concerned about more than the homeschooling is the fact that she is got them on constant benedryl and Nyquil and she is also addicted to drugs. These children need to be taken out of this environment. I do suggest for the safety and well being of your nephew and neice that you either call CPS on them or let your sister know that if she doesn't allow you to help them or take the kids yourself you will make sure they are taken away. Maybe there is someone in the family too that can take them until she can get the help she needs.

The laws are strict on drugging your children. I suggest you call the cps- they will come in and inspect and talk to the children and get the scoop.

If you don't get them the help they need then you are to blame too. We can't sit by and watch people neglect their children this way without saying something to someone.

Answer 12

do some research on what the homeschooling laws in your area are. They will tell you who you need to contact. I had thought about homeschooling my children at one time and my state sent me all sort of information on it.

Answer 13

Look into the term "Unschooling"  There are many parents doing this, and guess what?  IT WORKS BETTER THAN PUBLIC SCHOOL!  <gasp>

As far as the benadryl goes, I use it all the time, BECAUSE MY KIDS HAVE ALLERGIES.

Answer 14

Although I agree with ;) it was a little harsh. If you are concerned for the children's safety then you should notify Child Protective Services but know if you do and they find no proof of abuse/neglect you run the risk of ruining any chance you have to be a positive influence in the kids' or your sister's lives.

If it is that you don't agree with her educational plans maybe you should just talk to her, see what her vision is, offer to help, etc.

Answer 15

An 8 year old boy not being able to read or write isn't at all uncommon and there is no reason to believe that he isn't getting an education just based on that. You don't make the same comment about his sister so presumably she can read and write, being 2 years older and a girl that's also pretty normal.

Do some research on the different methods of homeschooling especially unschooling (aka autonomous) so that you'll have a better chance of recognising if that's the method your sister is using. Talk to her in a polite spirit of interested enquiry about the education philosophy she's using. Offer to take her and the kids out for the day somewhere like a local zoo where you'll get a chance to witness the kids learning, you may be very surprised by what you see. Finally understand that if you do set out to cause legal problems for your sister she will be fully justified in cutting you off FOREVER and even talking legal action in retaliation.

Answer 16

This is not your business.  They are the parents.  It is their child to educate as they see fit.  If you try to report them, you put yourself at risk of not only loosing any opportunity to see the children ever again, you also open yourself up to being sued by HSLDA on behalf of the homeschoolers.

There are many forms of homeschooling.  If she is reading to them, taking nature walks, playing math games then it is school. You have no right to judge the curriculum.

Do you have a PhD in curriculum development so that you even have the ability to judge curriculum?  Or perhaps a PhD in child development? Are you this child's doctor? Did you examine these children in a medically approved testing situation to see if they were learning at an appropriate rate? How can you even feel you are able to judge their educational level?  What makes you feel you have the right to do this?

My best advice would be to close your mouth, turn your head and leave them alone.  You are putting yourself at great financial and even criminal liability if you harass this family.  Believe me, if one of my relatives were to do anything to interfere with my parent child relationship, all contact would be severed, and I would file a restraining order and harassment suit against them.  I would have HSLDA on their butt so quick, they wouldn't know what to do.  (Filing false reports is illegal). I hope all homeschoolers would react the exact same way to nasty relatives. Your best option is to leave them alone.  

For your own peace of mind, I would suggest you read some of Moore's books, especially one called "Better Late than Early". John Holt also has some wonderful books on education too. Charlotte Mason was a leading education expert that has been widely accepted in the educational community for many years.  I would suggest you read what some "real" educational experts say about learning levels before you promote yourself into expert status in your own mind.

But leave this family alone.  If you are that irritated, then don't even go near them.  You will only harm yourself by loosing any relationship with the children, and perhaps loosing a court battle that will cost you a lot of money for butting into this family's business.

And just for a final thought, what makes you even think this mother has to prove anything to you? It is really not your business what program or type of curriculum she chooses to use for her child.

_________________

and as a final thought--

You need to be careful in making accusations such as drug addiction.  That is slander.  If you say it to people or make false statements about this, you could end up in jail.  You said, "we can't prove it". That is the end of the issue. Unless you are a medical professional who ran drug tests on the children and the mother, you need to stop spreading libelous rumors unless you want to go to jail for slander and false reporting. It is really in your own best interest to leave them alone.

I can honestly tell you that if I were in her place, and heard any of these things, I would cut off all contact, have an order of protection against you, file a police report for harassment or perhaps stalking and sue you.  I would never let you interfere with my family with such false, nasty comments and gossip.