How do you reveal to a class of 7 and 8 year olds that there has been a bereavement in school?

Question

Hi, any advice would be very much appreciated. I'm an NQT and they don't really teach you this sort of stuff at uni or on placement.

I found out that a boy in reception class died on Friday night after an epileptic fit. I teach in a very small school, with a close knit community. I know that my children will be upset, and I would really like some advice on what I should and shouldn't say.

Answer 1

Oh how I wish I didn't know the answer to this one!  What I have done is start by saying that I have some serious news to share with the class that some may already know about. I explain briefly what happened.  I acknowledge that everyone had a different relationship with the individual and that we all have different feelings and emotions, and  that's okay . I tell the kids what services will be available (ie. if they need someone to talk to, me, counselor)  I also ask them if they would like to do something as a class for the family or to remember the individual.  Some classes have written poems, made a mural, planted a tree etc. A project makes them feel like they are doing something worthwhile in a difficult situation.  If the class seems shocked or upset, I tell them we can have a break and take a few minutes to stand up and talk with each other, that we can get back to our work later.

Best wishes.

Answer 2

That's dreadful news to put to anyone let alone a group of children. Maybe you could issue all respective parents with a note and they in turn could relate the news, they will know how to approach such a sensitive subject for their child. In class, afterwards, you could invite them all to say a little prayer for the bereaved family.

You have a tough task my friend.

Answer 3

Tell them in a sorry voice say he died suddenly and peacefully don' t say he had a fit get your class to make cards for funrael and for family. im sorry for the kids family RIP

Answer 4

If you have a small school with a close knit community. The headteacher should call a special assembly and take the responsibility of telling the school. This should be done with the blessing of the family. A staff meeting before hand is a good idea so that you all answer any questions from the students with the same response. My local primary has close links to the local church and when one of the boys died the vicar helped break the news and was someone pupils could talk to. The school also closed for the funeral. Hope this helps

Answer 5

try and keep it sort but coming across clear and simple, dont tell them full details just inform they the boy died from having a epileptic fit there common

sorry if its not helping but if it was me i would not want them to feel scared or too upset just enough so they no

Answer 6

Sorry for your predicament and for the childs parents.

As for your way to tell the children in school just be honest and tell them that the child was very sick and has died. Children like to be told the truth especially by people they trust and that should be their teachers. Best of luck and sorry again for your loss.

Answer 7

I have always been an advocate of honesty with children - they are resilient and smart and deserve the chance to understand truthful answers.  Explain that sometimes children (like grown ups) get sick and there are times that not even the doctors can make them better.  And they go to heaven........  some kids will be sad or upset, but in a small community, telling them anything other than the truth would be even worse.

Answer 8

Just tell them the truth. Of course they will be upset. It's a fact of life that people die. Even young people. Encourage them to grieve, if they choose.

Answer 9

Tell them that he will not be with you anymore, he became too sick.  Ask if they believe in heaven and say that you do and that he has gone to heaven.  If possible, turn it into a nice positive so they don't get scared.  Something along the lines of he is not sick anymore and will be healthy and happy forever now.

You might consider having a counselor come to the class, too, as that person might have some training for this.

Answer 10

It hurts me to say that we have unfortunatly lost a member of our family

Don't say died straight away. Keep it positive, if the school is religios then say that the child is now happy in heaven.

Do say how you understand how upset everyone will be. Give them all time to take it in.

Do a memorial service for the poor child.