How do you say no to your neighbors?

Question

My fiance and I are really private people that just want to be left alone. Our neighbors are really nice and all, and I like the occasional chat but... We recently got a swimming pool and now they keep asking to come over and swim. I dont like the thought of people getting our pool all gross, peeing in it ect. I know its selfish but its OUR pool and we are private people. How do I tell them no, without being rude?! We've came up with excuse after excuse but now we are out of em. HELP!

Answer 1

Let them down easy, like, say you don't want 2 be rude but you and your fiance would like to swim and spend time alone

Answer 2

That don't sound selfish at all its your pool!!

Ok use a nice voice when you tell them this say " See you guys have been swimming in here alot and we havent had any time to swim in it so if we could like have out pool back that would be nice. I ain't trying to be mean or anything its just you guys have been in it alot and me and my fiance really want to spend some time in it. Is that alright with you?"

P.s Good luck!

Answer 3

tell them that you would rather go out for dinner or do something else. be friendly but don't try to be best friends with them. btw, i totally understand what you mean about the pool situation. many younger children pee in pools and their parents tell them its ok. i think that its discusting and i would feel the same way..good luckk  

Answer 4

just be honest say that you really like them and still want be friends but that you have a problem with other people getting into your pool. Say that yall can still be good friends and that yall can all go out to eat one night (because you like privacy), and maybe just maybe you could invite them over to eat or play cards or something fun. you don't have to be mean about it just let them know that you like you privacy and hopefully they can respect that.  

Answer 5

Have them all over for a party, get it over with and then super chlorinate or shock the pool. You'll be off the hook for the rest of the year.

Answer 6

Memorize this line:

"I'm sorry, but that just won't be possible."

You don't need excuses. It's your pool. If they want one, they can get a membership to a pool of build one in their own backyard.

Answer 7

I know it is very difficult to deal with people like this. But, you have to say NO and stay with it. Don't feel sorry for them, and stick to your word, no. Have your fiance tell them, maybe they will listen better to him.

Answer 8

Okay, say this with me: NO. Do it again: NO NO NO NO NO.

Does he have a care facilitator? You could speak to that person about it maybe.

Answer 9

I actually had the same problem with the kid who lives behind me.  I finally told her that I couldn't let her swim because I didn't want her mom to sue me.

Answer 10

I would just politely tell them not to bother you. Hope this helps!

Answer 11

You could tell them your insurance does not cover guests and you can't take the chance of anything happening,And above all remember you really don't owe them any explanation.

Answer 12

start building a really big fence in your yard... they will get the point

Answer 13

well i guess u could just tell them that u dont want them to come over anymore ... tell them that u want some time alone and that u like being a private family :)

its not that hard and think about it they dont feed u and pay ur bills so even if they get mad theyre not a big part of ur life theyre just UR NEIGBORS !! lool

Answer 14

Just come out with it. "We don't feel comfortable with other people in our pool, because then we have to say yes to everybody". simple as that, they should get their own pool.

Answer 15

Tell them you don't want to be held responsible in case something happens.

Answer 16

what you should do is tell them no. if they ask again hang a sign that will tell not just your neighbor, but everyone one else that the pool is off limits.        

      P.S your welcome  

Answer 17

just say you arent up for company   you want private time with with your boyfriend   talk to the head of the foster care center  they will put a stop to this  or say no people cant join you for insurance reasons

Answer 18

you have to be honest:

the next time they ask just say:

we really enjoy using the pool with just the two of us, and that's why we got it.  we just don't enjoy having guests.  We don't feel comfortable with having neighbors over.  I'm sorry, it must be a disappointment because you seem so eager to enjoy it.

and LISTEN to what they say.

you have made the situation worse by 'trying to be nice' which is not helpful.  the truth will set you free.

Answer 19

Just tell them because of insurance reasons they can't use it because you are not going to be responsible if something happens.

Answer 20

Tell then no.  If they persist tell them no again.  Don't apologise and don't explain. Repeat this procedure as many times as necessary.  Eventually they will get it and go away.  If they are annoyed with you, so be it.  

Ask them if they would care to pay part of the cost of the maintenance or upkeep of the pool.    Tell them to get their own dam pool.

Answer 21

I think you should just tell them that you all are private people and don't really like the idea of someone else in the pool with you guys. Just don't let them see you in there with anyone else.

Answer 22

easy get a REALLY TALL fence then they wont see you!! or just plain out say NO!!!

Answer 23

"Liability Issues"

"We met with our insurance agent to go over adding the pool to the coverage and s/he said that due to liability issues, it is not a good idea to allow neighbors to regularly use the pool... Sorry... It is this d**n litigious society!"

DONE!

Answer 24

It's a foster home, that means there is someone that has authority over them, those are the ones that you address. You need to go and visit the care givers and make it known, they won't want contention with the neighbors either, which is you.

That's an easy one, I thought you were going to talk about just a neighborly couple that you might get to befriend.

You might talk with those people as friends as well, but not on the grounds of having to do with you pool. The care givers should know better themselves to let the clients be rude to, you, the neighbor. I would address them so that they look after the patients better, not to say to them to look after them better, but to let them know that this a concern of yours, they will understand.

Answer 25

A 50 year old man in foster care?  Geez...but, I guess he could be mentally challended? I mean, that's what I gather from the information you shared.

Well...if he is mentally challenged, then tell him that you do not allow anyone else in your pool.  And tell him to go and inform his foster parents of this rule.  Tell him that if there is a problem, to have the foster parents come over and discuss.

If he continues, keep repeating what I said above.  And, with each knock on your door, become more stern.

If the parents come over, tell them that you do not allow anyone else to use the pool.

I hope that this resolves the issue.

AND, I would still go talk with the parents and let them know about the situation and that they are also peeking through your fence which makes you very uncomfortable.

Good luck.

Next.