How do you separate home school with your outside life?

Question

I decided to stay home with my 3yr old. I made a schedule from 9a.m.-2:15p.m. Its great!! we learned all primary colors, shapes, numbers, letters, classic songs crafts ect.

I also added some daily prayers, field trips. and outside play time!

Well what I'm saying is I love being together, learning together! But when its mommy and daddy time and god/grand parents take the lil one off our hands, Its hard for me to enjoy that time because I feel I'm leaving the lil one out. its almost hard to separate the homeschool teacher job and a mother. I'm asking for suggestions or advice?

Answer 1

Gee, do you feel that way during s*x as well!

That's a hint, you know.

How about taking a bath.  Take the little one into the tub with you.

That's hint, you know.

There is an approriapte time and place and inaaproripate times and places.

THE THREE of you certainly must do some things together.

But ALL need to learn about space and free time.

No offense intended, I'm trying to show approriateness

Is changing a tampon a public task!

Some things HAVE to be done separately, even from your husband.

It's the nature of how things work.

There comes a time in EVERYONE'S life when the husband wants to watch the football game, the wife wants to watch It's A Wonderful Life and the kid wants to watch Hannah Montana, all at the same time.

So we have 3 TVs and different rooms

But you decide to ALL eat dinner at the same time and around the same table.

Answer 2

My parents never had a school schedule so I'm a bit strange to this, and also, I'm not a parent.

But, I'm 15 and starting to go out on my own, and my mom is having a few Empty Nest Issues.

Pick a night that's just for you and your husband. Let your kid stay with his or her grandparents, and have some time to yourselves. Don't call every ten minutes to see what's happening; my mom did that when I started going out on my own a few years ago and it was just annoying.

It's harder to kill a kid than you think. They're resilient little buggers and you'll burn out before they're halfway in gear.

If you worry about your kid, think about what logically could happen. Is s/he going to be mauled by bears? No. Is s/he going to be abducted by aliens? No. Is s/he going to be eaten by cannibal pygmies? No. Is s/he going to play with a puzzle, eat some apple sauce and take a nap? Probably.

Answer 3

I think that's fairly normal for stay-at-home moms who really enjoy being with their kids. I don't think it has anything to do with being a homeschool teacher vs. being a mother--you simply enjoy being with your child. Just watch your thoughts so that you give some focus to your husband--and yourself--too.

Answer 4

it is nice to have time away enjoy dont feel bad you both need that other wise as time go on and he grows you will hate home schooling and so will he.

Answer 5

Oh dear,

I know exactly what that feels like!

I used to feel like a limb was missing when I was away from my babies!  

What I did, was my hubby and I set up a specific date night and I told myself that I need this, I need balance, I need to focus on my hubby and adult things too.  

Sometimes it was actually painful but I told myself--I am a good mother, I do not need to feel guilty and burdened that I have needs apart from my little ones.  

Believe it or not, that does change.

The intense bonding we have as a Mommy to our little ones is natural--it is to insure their survival....but, when our entire identity, our entire being is wrapped up in another person--we need to pull back some and realize--they will not die without us when left in the care of loving relatives.

The other things I came to realize is that the GREATEST gift I could ever give my children was a happy and healthy marriage.

If our marriage--was not number one priority--then the entire family unit would be weakened.  I had to realize that--no matter what--when the children grow up I want my spouse by my side and not to have to learn to deal with a virtual stranger.

If your hubby's anything like mine--he's already telling you, he needs you and that you need a break.  

It is really essential that you teach your little one that Daddy and Mommy have "alone" time.  We did this with all four of ours.  We let them know--that our alone time--was for us and not them.  Your "us" right now is with your child.  Your "us" should always be with your spouse.  

There HAS to be a boundary set up there--mentally and emotionally that you realize that your spouse is your main ministry, he is your first priority because this is how God set it up.  You were created to be the help meet for him so the two of you could raise children TOGETHER.

I just want to share that because I REFUSED to keep a balanced life while raising our first born he had an incredibly hard time when the other children arrived, he had become so accustomed to having every need met---exactly when he had it--that he had no patience developed in him.

He could not understand why I even wanted any other children and had a very deep resentment of the other children because of this.  I set this situation up because of the intense need I had to be the "perfect" Mommy.  I thought if I spent ANYTIME away from him--he would be neglected and somehow "damaged".  It was a fear based decision.  

Looking back now,  this was a terrible mistake I made.  I didn't have anyone telling me how emotionally unhealthy that was or if I did I refused to listen because I was stubborn.  Even to this very day, my first born son who is now fifteen has a very spoiled and self-centered personality that we have been trying to work on for twelve years since we had other children.

Believe it or not, the universe does NOT revolve around your little one and the moment you have to make this little one wait for something--you will find out what a huge mistake it was to be at the beck and call of a child.  All children must LEARN patience and that their needs,if not met immediately, are not going to stop the world.

One thing that could really help is when you go shopping, run errands, visit with a friend, etc. that you leave your child in the care of your spouse.  This child needs BOTH parents and Daddy and child need their alone time to establish their own relationship too.  Since you are the primary care giver--it is completely essential that you get a break--and that Daddy has a strong and healthy relationship with his child completely separate from you too.  

My prayers are with you that you find balance and see your calling In Christ Jesus as a ministry to both your Hubby and your child.  And that God show you what a wonderful, loving mother that you are and how to balance all those roles.

Answer 6

Are you new to staying at home with your child?  

Being a good parent means taking care of your own needs as well. I get grumpy if I don't have a chance to read, surf the net or just get a shower without interruptions :)    You deserve time to recharge, and it benefits the entire family if you are running smoothly !  Do not feel like you are leaving your child out!  it sounds like you take advantage of your time together and have fun, it doesn't have to be all about the child 24/7, that isn't healthy for anyone.

Good luck and have fun!

Answer 7

I had to laugh when I read your question! I know exactly what you mean. My kids have even said before "do we ever stop school?" It seems things can quickly turn into a learning experience. I have learned to bit my tongue sometimes and make a note of things to go over later.

Enjoy your little one now, it goes SO fast! But make sure you take time for yourself and husband. "If Momma ain't happy, no one is happy!" (I feel the need to apologize for using "ain't.")

Blessings

Answer 8

This is just a season of your life, please, accept it for what it is. It's wonderful that you enjoy time with your child, so many people lose that when they stay home, and forget what blessings they are. For some people it is true that they need a 'break', for others it is not true. For now, if you are having a hard time leaving your child, then you shouldn't do it. There are no MUSTS in life, there are only choices. You should honor your instincts and your heart.

Your child is still young, and it's hard to  miss them when they are still cute ;-) Give it a few years and you'll appreciate it much more when you get time away. I don't really think that you are having a hard time separating schooling from being a mother. I think it's partly being a full-time mother from being a wife and person. It's partly having such a young one. And it's partly how much fun you guys are having being together.

Talk to your husband and see what he says. If he absolutely needs time alone with you, see if you can compromise. If you have a good time on your date and think the little one will miss out, why couldn't you do that another time with just your child? What kind of outings do you do as a family? We have date nights, family nights, and then nights with just mom or dad while the other parent does something alone or with friends. However, my oldest is 12, and it took me ten years to get to the point where I wanted time alone. Our marriage survived just fine, in fact, we do have a date next week for our 15th anniversary.

Answer 9

I don't separate it.

Because we're unschoolers and don't follow a schedule it's no problem. I don't think there is a need to separate the teaching job and the mothering job. As a mother you DO teach, in the most caring, kind and loving of ways. When you're a teacher there seems to be a need to be bossy and tell your kids to do this and that.

I love to be with my kids and when they all go off somewhere I do miss them. But I also am happy for that relaxing moment when I don't have kids playing tag indoors, practicing piano and screaming that there is too much noise. I'm confidante that they're learning while they bake cookies with Grandma or build a tree house with their friends.

Answer 10

Another 15 - 20 years and you will be cured... somewhat.

Welcome to being a parent!

Answer 11

I completely understand your feelings. My husband and I end up talking about our children when we are on a "date." We can't help ourselves. That's part of a being a parent. However, we do try and focus only on each other when we're together by ourselves. You need time with each other. Trust me, I know! I have three boys, ages 10, 6 and 3. Needless to say, my life is hectic and chaotic. After having the last two boys, I don't feel the least bit guilty when I get a day to myself, I cherish every moment. Then, after a day of shopping or whatever I want to do on those days, I'm refreshed and ready to be Mom again. And the same thing goes for when my husband and I get some time alone. Enjoy your time alone. You need a break every once in a while. Being a mother is a full-time job. Actually, it's more than a full-time job. A full-time job is 40 hours per week. We as mothers are always "on call."

On some days, just have fun, don't worry about the school stuff. However, you never really stop being a teacher. Your child will be watching everything you do for the rest of your life. Your child is constantly learning just by watching you.