How do you stay being a strong women. ?

Question

My boyfriend of two years had a baby with another women while we were still together.. I didn't find out about the baby in till the baby was already 2-3 months old.

Its been 9months sense I found out and I just got an email from him. Telling me how sorry he was and how he messed up.

After all of the crying and wondering what I did wrong.. Why am I still in love with him.

I want to be a strong women. I cant be one of those women who have their husband or boyfriends cheat on them and they think its ok.. I don't want to be one of those women who family and people talking about behind their backs on how stupid they are..

Women how do you stay strong when all you want to do is stay in love with the person who has hurt you so much?

Answer 1

Well the truth hurts- so you have to enforce all of that humiliation into the past. You should thank your lucky stars that it wasn't you that he was keeping a secret. Not only that but he was in denial about his very own baby! What if you were the girl&new born baby whom he was in denial about. He even know's that he messed up now because he's having to deal with a woman whos hormones are  crazy and a new baby who is one h**l of a handful. Babies are no joke and no easy picnic. He has a whole world of new troubles that lye ahead for him. So be glad it wasn't you. If it was meant to be then your lives would be different right now. Obviously there is someone else out there for you!  And he will more than likely love you so much that he wouldn't cheat on you. There are guys who don't cheat.  You just have to be patient.  I promise you that he wasn't the one. Look forward to a whole new different love, one thats going to be better because now you are strapped with a little bit more experience under your belt to take on 1 of many fish out in the sea!  

Answer 2

Sometimes you have to weigh the pros and the cons.  If you truly love your bf and want to trust him again, it's going to take some work on both of your parts.  He cannot expect you to just get over it overnight, he has to rebuild his trust with you.  Let him know that what he did was very hurtful to you and exactly how you feel about it.  If he cares about you at all, you will be able to tell because he will feel horrible that he hurt you so badly.

As for other people, you have to find the inner strength to stand up to those people and say that he made a mistake, and the 2 of you are working on rebuilding your relationship.  Explain that you love him and want the relationship to work.  Anybody who wants to judge you will do so regardless of what you say, you just have to hold your head up.  

Answer 3

my strength came from experiencing heartache and deciding I will never ever let that happen again

Answer 4

he will always be a cheater so dont bother giving him another chance. my ex wife had an affair on me and i gave her another chance. wanna guess what happened? email me if you want to talk or something

Answer 5

I have not been in the same situation however I have loved someone who has hurt me.  The thing is you need to remind yourself every day how much better you are then that person.  You need to do stuff for yourself to build up your confidence.  Lose weight, get a promotion, change your hair get new clothes, new makeup and travel.  That is what I did, and I had guys wanting to get with me left and right.  It made me feel so good to know how much he lost.  I was skinny anyways but I made sure I stayed thin, changed my hair, moved to Europe, got a promotion and dated lots of guys.  I can tell you that the tables turned.  He realized how good he had it, and what he missed.  I ended up falling in love with the man of my dreams and could not be happier that we are over.  Just hang in there, it does get better.  You are on the right track.

Answer 6

Try to think of it this way - if he doesn't care about his own baby and the mother of his child - what makes you think he cares about you?  You should definitely move on with your life and forget about him.

Answer 7

because you have some unfinish business with him and two: the relationship was not over on your end.

Answer 8

Why in the world would you want to be with someone that caused such a horrible issue as to impregnante and have a child with someone else, and then lie and not tell you? Strength has nothing to do with it, have some common sense! Thank God you never married the creep.