How do you stay confident when others make negative comments about you?

Question

My family and many of my "friends" have said I'm a timid pushover, and that everyone only likes me for my extremely passive personality. My parents also say I'm immature and I'm abnormally shy. When I think of these comments, I just can't feel proud of myself. I know that what they're saying is somewhat true...how can I raise my confidence?

Answer 1

"To thine own self be true" Think about who you really are in your heart & remind yourself of that daily. Sometimes putting it down on paper helps so you can go there when you're feeling the pressure. Start acting like you are confident.. regardless of what anyone says! I have found that just acting like I am confident actually produces confidence!

You may want to have something ready to say in response to your nay-sayers... try to turn their negative remarks into something positive. Tell them you are trying to stand up for yourself more, but can't they see that their negative comments are not helping?! Explain to them that you know you are a good person, so you would appreciate it if they would concentrate more on your positive attributes instead reminding you of your flaws. Ask them if they really want to help you open up more & say what you think. Hopefully they will answer "YES".. which is a positive step in the right direction.

It kind of sounds to me that they are trying to push your passive personality to the point of an aggressive reaction with their comments. I hope you can talk about your feelings with them before it ever gets to that point!!

Answer 2

Are you mean to these people in any way at all? If not then I don't understand why they would make such mean remarks. Maybe it's to see some reaction from you.... so if you think they are somewhat right, then at least talk about how it makes you feel when they say these things to you. It sure isn't going to help you by telling us here. Start by voicing out to them how you feel about them belittling you. That should make them see that you have feelings and deserve respect and acceptance from your own family and friends.

Answer 3

Stop caring what others think and get a different perspective on it.

Answer 4

Dont believe it as your truth. You know the person you are, the person you would like to be. Have some kind of role model in mind and strive to be like that person.

Don't ever believe what people say about you. You can always change for the better.

Answer 5

Think of this as your victory, since people say negative things about you because they are afraid of your capabilities and they know that some how you are better than them.... Think positive and remain confident because there is no other person in this world like you.  

Answer 6

Let me explain something to you that many people never take the time to think about or realize, because I think it might make a big difference for you...

Every single person has both positive and negative characteristics, weaknesses, and strengths.  Most people know this.

What many fail to realize is that our greatest weaknesses are usually simply an extension, and extreme in the opposite direction if you will, of our greatest strengths.

Think about it like this -

They say you are a timid pushover and passive - I'll bet you are thoughtful and caring and non-confrontational.  Guess what?  That means you are probably logical, may stay pretty calm under pressure, listen well, and have the ability to be attentive to detail, and have the capability to reason and evaluate well -all things that are hard to do when you're always pushing to have your way and prove your point.

They say you're immature - that can be both good and bad, depending on the situation and circumstances...it can create problems if you don't live up to your responsibilities and capabilities or try to blame everything on others, but it can be great if it means that you can enjoy life without worrying all the time, laugh when the world is funny, and play and have a good time when you get the chance.

Abnormally shy - this one can be difficult, but are you really shy, or do you just prefer to have a smaller group of friends that matter to you instead of a bunch who really don't mean that much?  Maybe you like to do things in the background, and prefer not to be on center stage.  

Some of us have no desire to be famous or the center of attention.  

If you are fearful of meeting new people or new situations, practice to make it easier.  Find some things that interest you, and look for a group or club with others who like the same thing. Try speaking to someone new that you don't know - set yourself a goal to do it once a day or 3 times a week, and just do it.  Doesn't have to be a whole long conversation, just a hello, at first, then build yourself up to ask about a book they have or product in their hand if they're at the store - does that stuff work well? is that book any good?  do you like that class, or the teacher?, etc. etc.  Soon you'll see that you can manage, and most of the time, it goes pretty well.

Find things that interest you and that you are good at.

Best of luck to you!  

Answer 7

say its not true to yourself

Answer 8

Just ignore those comments and try to change, Show your so called friends and your family different that you can change

Answer 9

Who Care what other people Think about you!!!!